(not sure if i’m welcome @ the ‘family christmas’ this year…)
(perhaps this will be my first ‘solo christmas’?)
(another landmark in solitude!)
(i was not welcome on ‘christmas’)
(just as i suspected)
(because i “yelled at my mother” on the ‘car ride’ to my house on ‘thanksgiving night’)
(only because she STILL wouldn’t allow me to spend the night at her house!)
(and she was not direct about this!)
(i wasn’t even TOLD that i was unwelcome on ‘christmas’)
(they assumed that i would know)
(i didn’t receive a ‘phone call’ from anyone on ‘christmas’)
so i got (absolutely) plastered by myself…
(i couldn’t even make much ‘noise’ because the ‘landlord’ + her ‘daughter’ were upstairs celebrating ‘christmas’ and i didn’t want them to know that i was spending it alone)
(‘cheryl’ gave me what seemed to be a “christmas” gift weeks before ‘christmas’…)
($300 in ‘gift cards’ to ‘local food stores’)
(‘mccaffrey’s’ / ‘bon apetit’ / ‘dunkin donuts’)
(‘aunt jackie’ gave me a ‘sweater’ well after ‘christmas’)
(and ‘cheryl’ proceeded to shrink it in the ‘wash’)
(so she bought me 2 new ‘sweaters’)
(a ‘penance’ of sorts)
(
john the drunk bought me a pint of vodka and pack of marlboro reds
(we were both alone on christmas)
(i initially lied to him because i was ashamed of spending christmas alone)
(but i eventually came clean)
mike bought me “plato’s republic” for christmas
(cheryl didn’t deliver the book until february)
gotta thank mike for the christmas present
(even though he got books for the whole family)
(he’s copying the old man)
(equating “plato’s republic” with intellectual rigor)
(i’m sick of looking backwards for answers)
i didn’t get anyone gifts for christmas…
(why bother?)
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⬅︎⬅︎⬅︎ *BACK TO “CHRISTMAS DIARIES″*
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