*august 2013*

*august 1st*

smoking the first joint impelled me to clean my room and take a shower…

smoking the second joint impelled me to order 3 slices and an iced tea @ nino’s pizza star (along with generous scoops of peanut butter + corn pops) before passing out…

now i have less than 5 beers left (as well as dope and several cigarettes)…i’ll have to reload today…i think i’ll go with two bottles of “steel reserve”…

at least i got a good night’s sleep…i’ll have to shave the beard and cash the check at some point today…as expected, i had to take several shits upon waking up this morning…will probably be out of toilet paper before long…

i’ve gotta record these “too blue” vocals (although the song seems forced)…

still horny as a goat…

got the house to myself (for now)…

it’s raining outside and i want to go buy steel reserve…
(what do i do about the check cashing?)
(i need to get fucked up and the answer will come to me naturally)

i finally went to the liquor store for 2 steel reserves…also got myself a dunkin donuts lunch (toasted everything bagel with cream cheese / toasted everything bagel with chicken salad / orange powerade)…

2 august:

“too blue” is starting to come along…smoked more joints and drank a bottle of steel reserve…then i gave in and got my usual nino’s star pizza (along with a snickers bar)…i passed out before 9pm…

the next morning i finally gave in and cut the landlord a $595 check for july rent…this buys me at least two weeks before i will be called back into court for august rent (they run these mass court hearings every other friday morning)…i was up well before 5am…at least this court date gave me an incentive to shave the beard (after smoking a joint and taking a few swigs of steel reserve)…john the drunk got too fucked up to go to work today…booze, cocaine, hookers, the works…he told me to catch the 6:25am “free-B” (which was late)…it passed me right on by as i waited outside the sherwin williams store (which is where john the drunk told me to catch it)…instead i ran it down all the way to the bus stop outside mccaffrey’s (which is where i suspected i had to catch it)…from there i took a $2.75 “dinky” ride to princeton junction…again no one punched my ticket from princeton junction to trenton…arrived at the courthouse way too early…they didn’t open the doors until 8:30am…and i just waited until the judge called my name and shouted “tenant!”…i was directed to meet the landlord in the hall and attempt to reach an agreement…i offered to pay $595 and promised him (in writing) that i’d pay the august rent (+ late fees / court fees / plumbing fees) on wednesday (august 7)…he “generously” waived the parking fees…lingered around for awhile before the landlord realized that we were free to leave…on the way back, i grabbed a quick mcdonalds lunch before my 11:15am train back to princeton junction…they punched the ticket this time ’round…

checked my account balance @ bank of america…i don’t need to cash cheryl’s blank check (yet)…then i went back to the house and took a nap…now john the drunk ain’t even returning my calls (he’s probably sleeping)…no one else answers their phones…i think i’ll hold off on the NYC trip until tomorrow…mike’s not going out anyway (and he’s taking a run @ 6pm after work)…i’ll stay here, get stoned + drunk, and work on music…

i’ve got a terrible case of swampass today…most likely causes:

not changing underwear everyday
not showering everyday
eating peppers (and junk food in general) before bed
alcohol
excessive bowel movements
warm weather
stress

(i’d go with “all of the above”)

3 august:

onto “joe’s rose”…spent way too much time on “too blue”…by the time i got to the vocals for “joe’s rose” my voice was shot…so i got my pizza star dinner and went to sleep sometime before 10pm…john the drunk interrupted me all goddamned day…i watched him take down a line of cocaine in the afternoon…then another depressed divorcee visited him and he knocked on my window ’round 11:30pm while i was sleeping…

i wake up with the shits after a healthy sleep…at least the shits are solid…mike is back in NYC @ 3pm…i asked him to give me a ride back (he’s driving grandma skip’s car)…he’s playing golf in hillsborough but going back to watchung and taking the train into NYC…

i’ve got a healthy supply of booze…i may as well start drinking and smoke the rest of my dope before departing for NYC…

6 august:

turned “29” yesterday…

john the drunk’s “train friend” robert drove me to princeton junction on saturday evening…he works @ “jefferies” (an investment bank)…makes 200K…age 42…beautiful wife (same age)…no children (nor will there be any)…2 acres in princeton…drives a jeep wrangler…addicted to alcohol / drunk driving / cocaine / prostitutes…star basketball player @ saint anthony’s…star baseball player @ farleigh dickinson…involved in “IPOs”…sounds familiar…

i arrived @ NY penn station before 6:30pm on saturday night…walked to mike’s apartment (39th street between 5th and Madison)…dropped off my bags @ his 26c apartment…got the security key from the doorman after i phoned mike…gotta turn both the key + doorknob left to enter the premises…mike pays $1200 in rent…

scott works @ a hedge fund…7am-7pm…he rakes in 500K/year…what the fuck is he doing in this apartment?…mike claims that he’s a “quarterblack” (his mother’s mother?)…my mother didn’t know this…she claimed he’s a “quarter egyptian”…he looks awful white to me…he has a cute brunette girlfriend named “katherine”…

i took a shit…

drank a lot of filtered water…

swigged from “triple sec” citrus vodka in the freezer / white wine / tanqueray…

sprayed some of his “bulgari” cologne on my neck…

he requested that i wear a “button-down shirt” and “dress shoes” (in case we went to some fancy “nightclub”)…

i borrowed his dirty ralph lauren long-sleeved shirt and rolled up the sleeves…

wore his brown pennyloafers…

he has a smaller iMac than i…

but he also has an iPod and iPhone…

his iMac password is “mgp5234″…

same as his AIM screen name (i have a steeltrap memory)…

he has a “pad mouse” in which one uses two fingers to scroll…

down for up / up for down…

rather counterintuitive…

my scrollwheel makes a whole lot more sense…

at least he’s ambidextrous…

in checking my gmail account on his iPad, i stumbled upon a draft of an email he was sending to (ostensibly) stephanie karvellas (who claims, like her father, to only shit once every two weeks)…i wish i had this superpower…and to think that stef and her old man (like me and the old man) hate each other…mike’s only had one girlfriend so far…and he’s obviously still hung up on her (joga –> emma as mike –> stef)…we broke up ’round the same time after all (though they’d been dating over a year longer)…he hasn’t been laid since new year’s day…some chick named “margaret”…margaret o’neil?…she couldn’t have been that hot…

then i took the “F train” subway (i had to refill on my metrocard…now they charge extra to get a new card to provide incentive for commuters to save their cards and cut down on the city’s paper bills…and “save the trees”)…42nd street and 6th avenue…got off @ houston / 2nd avenue…walked to 3rd street / avenue A…timothy dwyre’s apartment…kyle armeny’s high school buddy…he lives with his unemployed buddy…works @ a financial services firm in summit…scott graham was also in attendance…they were drinking corona lights and watching ESPN…some fat black offensive lineman was being inducted into the NFL hall of fame…i drank a corona light and dipped a skoal pouch that timothy had in his refrigerator…his roommate can-opened a bud light to use as a spittoon…mike and i went to the local grocery store to purchase more beer…i wish grocery stores sold beer in new jersey…i drank more coronas from the freezer as we watched bill parcells get inducted into the NFL hall of fame…i volunteered an anecdote about the old man goading me into taking a picture with william parcells when i was a pop warner youngster (even though i didn’t give a shit about him)…mike got pissed…”relax” he told me in a condescending voice…it didn’t seem that any girls were going to show up…mike called some chick named “christina” but she was going to stay on the upper east side…scott’s girlfriend was nowhere to be found…then some other dude showed up…we talked about dope dealers…i had reached a pleasant buzz by the time the coronas were all gone…mike asked me to “get more beer” with him…we ended up leaving the rest of the guys behind and hitting up bars…first the “sidewalk cafe” (because i’d performed there twice)…he bought me a gin and tonic…i approached two israeli chicks at a table (a curly-Q brunette and an older redhead)…they seemed semi-interested but they were “waiting for” some other dude…the other dude eventually arrived…mike wanted to leave…he walked out and i was forced to abandon my drink…he said we should hit up my other favorite east village spot: “cafe orlin”…the older hispanic bartender didn’t even remember me…the only waitress still working there is maryam toosi (and she wasn’t even there that night)…mike got me another gin and tonic…he started nagging me about my life…in reference to the old man, i said something to the effect of “i’ll bury that bastard”…he grabbed my bag and stormed out the door without paying the $15 tab…the bartender chased us into the street…mike paid the tab…i chased him down…seems he and the old man are so attached at the hip that he gets offended for him…he said he’d give me the bag back if i gave him his apartment key back…he said that he wasn’t going to let me sleep @ his apartment…i finally calmed him down…he bought me a pack of marlboro reds…we smoked a cigarette together…got back @ his apartment sometime before 2am…i slept on the couch in his common room…it’s not big enough to hold my body…there’s no central air in his apartment…the wall to mike’s bedroom was especially built for him…it’s not “supposed to” be there…so the air conditioning unit in his bedroom doesn’t cool the “common room”…he brought me a fan but that didn’t help matters much…he gave me a pair of grey sweatpants to wear…the television in his common room is a larger version of his bedroom television…they’re not very easy to operate…i watched “real time with bill maher” on HBO On Demand before falling asleep…

the next morning he woke me up for breakfast ’round 10am…water / coke / several cups of hot black coffee / “peasant omelette”…he pulled the string out of his sweatpants and so they kept falling down on me (as my pockets were full)…i didn’t change my clothes / brush my teeth / take a shower before leaving his apartment…he expected that i would pay my share for breakfast…i told him i wouldn’t have gone to breakfast if he hadn’t invited me…he ended up paying the bill…

so he began berating me…

some central themes:

the old man
the little sis
uncle T
uncle J
my “narcissism”
lack of contact with my “high school friends”
taking advantage of cheryl
taking advantage of him
being taken to civil court by the landlord
“you don’t care about anything”
“get a fucking job”
“get your music ‘off the ground'”
“cut your hair”
“don’t hit on your cousin’s 16-year-old friends”
“there’s no way that the family’s going to let you live in grandma skip’s house”
(why not?)

moral of his story:

“clean up your act”

he was being a cranky little bitch…he noted that i was gagging (due to cigarettes)…i blamed it on the coffee…i continued to drink the coffee (free refills?)…he challenged me once again…

i took it all in stride…

(he also pointed out to me that the “weirdos” clip is still posted to facebook)
(i coulda sworn i took it down)
(why isn’t blumberg throwing a hissy fit by now?)

returned to the apartment to prepare for busking…walked down 5th avenue to union square park…same place i once busked with pellagatti…popped my “G string” within the first 30 seconds…luckily i had a spare…a half hour later i broke the “A string”…luckily i had a spare…

played the usual repertoire:

helter skelter (in honor of charles manson)
(the slow “anthology 3” version)

(into “born on the bayou”)

“no other baby” –> “take me to the river”

“santeria”

“don’t look back in anger”

“blackbird”

“oh! darling”

“rocky raccoon”

“get back”

“sympathy for the devil”

“dead flowers”

“hey jude”

“house of the rising sun”

(i was going to play “hotel california” but i was afraid people would find it “tacky”)

the only original songs i played were “trespassing” and “brainwashed”
(along with several improvised chants)

i had to play songs which enabled me to project the voice and cut through the overwhelming ambient noise…

a grizzled hispanic “chessmaster” offered me a carton to sit on…i gave him matches to light his pipe…he spoke no english…still he encouraged me to “play!”…

within minutes, a nondescript middle-aged bald man started tuning in…he gave me $5…he claimed to be the manager for “wiz khalifa” and “mac miller”…he’s looking to “branch out” from hip-hop…he dug my voice…i played him “trespassing”…he didn’t have a business card…i wrote down my name / email address / website on a piece of paper and gave it to him…i gave him two CDs (“finest hour” and “we won the war”)…i’ve gotta stop giving out those CDs…i hate CDs…and those CDs aren’t representative of my musical potential…

so i went to niagara to book a gig…gave my information to the blonde bartender…then i headed to the sidewalk cafe…i’d already performed there twice…the chick behind the bar told me to submit my request on their website…

i packed it in ’round 6pm and headed back to mike’s apartment…he said he’d treat me to dinner @ park avenue tavern (99 park avenue / between 39th street + park avenue)…uncle junior’s son was the host…(in the television series, “uncle junior” was childless)…dominic chianese junior…he claimed that he “didn’t remember me” (even though i’d seen him back in february 2012)…he denigrated his past as the open mic host @ gizzi’s…he didn’t even remember pellagatti…he said that things were better now…i drank several gin and tonics (as well as a guinness and a coca-cola)…mike is a regular @ this restaurant and so we each got a free drink at the end of the night…we ordered a hummus appetizer…i felt like getting drunk so i let mike eat it all…i ordered the usual “tavern burger” (medium rare)…$12…8 oz LaFrieda ground beef patty , gorgonzola cheese, aioli, red onion…i requested lettuce…a side of french fries…i didn’t even finish it…instead i regaled mike with stories of jennifer marie markham…we headed back to the apartment…he went to bed…i smoked a cigarette on his roof (34th floor)…he requested that i keep the volume down and turn off the light before i go to bed…he’s turning into the old man before my very eyes…i should’ve really refilled the water filter for them…i didn’t even wash the mug i drank from…

rolls woke me up with a 2:30am phone call wishing me a happy birthday…i’d been trying in vain to call him all weekend…should’ve put my phone on silent before going to bed…i fell asleep after catching up on “real time with william maher” and season 2 of “the sopranos” (even though i’ve wasted too much of my life watching these episodes over and over again)…@ 5:30am the other mike woke me up to wish me happy birthday…he decided to use a paid “sick day”…he wants to take advantage of them before he leaves jpmorganchase for another job…eventually (just like rolls) he wants to escape the corporate grind…

so i woke up sometime before 10am…i lied and told mike that i was meeting john the drunk to interview with his company…i still need to send him a resume…mike doesn’t even have a printer (nor do any of his roommates)…i need to have my resume on the g-mail account…i took a shower and brushed my teeth…mike is living with 2 black men…he gave me a towel…he doesn’t even have a hairbrush…he doesn’t brush his hair?…we headed to starbucks…he bought me a venti iced coffee…he forgot to request the sweetener…he himself drinks hot coffee…we headed to the verona deli…he bought me a toasted everything bagel with cream cheese + nova scotia lox…he got himself a bacon egg cheese sandwich…we headed to his roof for breakfast…i took several shits throughout the morning…we hung out in his bedroom with occasional breaks to smoke cigarettes on his roof…then i went into his bedroom to give him a music lesson…the one that marta blumberg should’ve given him so many years ago…the one that should’ve been given to me so many years ago…although he’s left-handed, he’ll have to learn how to play right-handed guitar (‘cuz it’s too late to become jimi hendrix or paul mccartney)…mama called me up…she “didn’t want to bother me”…she merely wanted to take me out to dinner for my birthday…mike had been urging me to call her all weekend…

i copied all of the corporate contacts from my gmail…i’d been trying in vain to get in touch with riff + ames…mike has lost contact with riff…only AI, mike, and the rolland runts answer my calls these days…the only person who calls me obsessively is john the drunk…ethan kellogg won’t even take my calls (not to mention roboray or dyke van larnald)…

then i decided to busk…mike was headed to the chelsea piers driving range…@ 2pm we headed downtown…he bought me a small iced coffee from starbucks…i seem to have convinced him to start drinking iced coffee…i set up shop @ washington square park…he filmed my attempts to perform…within 30 seconds i broke my low E string…then i was thoroughly drowned out by darkies…they banged on their drums, they blasted their boomboxes, they shouted and screamed, they flailed their arms + legs…and all the whitebread tourists politely applauded…mike didn’t see me collect a single cent…even as i sang and he filmed, i noted that his eyes were thoroughly fixated on the black dancers…even though he and his crew profess to be “country rock” fans (the lamest white music of all)…he definitely doesn’t listen to my music…he and cheryl don’t regularly check up on my youtube page…he didn’t see me collect a single cent…

after an hour i started to gain momentum…at least the weather was perfect all weekend…i mostly collected change from young dudes…not a single attractive girl approached me in the two days of busking…the calibre of NYC chicks in general seems to be in decline…some mulatto named sean gave me a great british pound (“to stick on the guitar”)…he claimed that he couldn’t cash it in for USD @ the local bank…they didn’t convert change…he claimed it was worth $2.50 (it’s actually worth $1.50)…another young dude living with his parents…then some chick donated a cigarette…i must look like a cigarette smoker (even though the voice is silky smooth)…an indian rastafarian type approached me for the cigarette…i shared the cigarette with sean and the rastafarian…sean wondered why “with a voice like mine” i didn’t make more money busking…the rastafarian offered to share a joint with me…i was paranoid about the police…i asked him to roll a separate joint for me instead…but he claimed that was all the dope he had left…i let him smoke the joint himself…he seemed a bit unstable…he requested that i “play good music” for him once he was done smoking…

i launched into “hey jude”…i started to attract a crowd…little boys came to my guitar case with dollar bills…young taiwanese girls gave me money (and their business cards)…unclear what the “business” entailed…an old woman asked me to play “israeli songs”…a young foreign dude asked me to hand over the guitar so that he could play…he gave me a monetary donation as a gesture of goodwill…i felt like i was back in austin texas…i led him on but ultimately refused to hand over the guitar…and so he left…a middle-aged white man with a dark wife and cute daughter gave me $5…i gave him a CD…he gave me another $5…he wondered why “with a voice like mine” i didn’t have a record deal…unfortunately he has no connections in the “music industry”…i gave a free CD to some puerto rican hobo named “miguel”…he had no money to give me but he promised that he’d “play the CD at parties”…then he asked to play a song on my guitar…i refused…some people never know when to quit…

i decided to head uptown…bought a tropical citrus vitamin water @ the union square whole foods store for under $2…a real high-tech operation they’ve got there (an adaptation to the extraordinarily high customer volume)…i attempted to busk…the same black dance troupe from washington square park in one section / hare krishna drummers + chanters in another section / old people playing amplified acoustic “folk music” (sponsored by yoko ono) in another section…all three attracted large crowds…despite my best efforts, i didn’t collect a single cent…i attempted to drown out the charlatan “hare krishnas” with my version of “helter skelter” to no avail…and so i decided to head uptown ’round 6:30pm…lots of other lonely acoustic guitarists like me looking for a spot to play…though none of them actually had the balls (or the vocal cords) to belt it out like i did…

spotted a “weed world candies” truck…2 lollipops for $10 / 5 lollipops for $20…the nigger running the scam operation claimed that they “weren’t allowed to sell” their two “strongest brands” of lollipop…the strongest being “herojuana” (how goofy!)…he claimed that the “girl scout cookie” brand was the strongest…they had a virginia license plate…i claimed that i had to “run to the bank”…i walked several blocks uptown before turning around…i chatted with the busty young dark girl that the niggers used to attract customers…i asked her about the “best brand”…another skinny nigger munching on mcdonalds fries explained “guys value ‘strength’ of the high and girls value ‘feel’ of the high”…she told me that cops never hassled them…since 1977, new york state has had relatively lenient dope laws…possession of less than 25 grams of dope warrants a “civil citation” ($100 fine)…i’ve gotta go to colorado with the rolland runts…since november 2012 “recreational cannabis use” is legal in colorado…still gotta worry about the feds…the nigger claimed that the lollipop was “a third as strong” as a typical “hash brownie”…told me it’d take 45 minutes to kick in followed by another 45 minutes of stoned bliss (although he mentioned the munchies)…so i gave in and bought two lollipops…handed my $10 of busking money over to the old nigger in the passenger seat…the french-fries eating nigger told me that his “dope” came from “humboldt county california”…then i headed uptown…

i arrived to mike’s apartment a few minutes after 7pm…he was just getting back from the gym…cheryl was already @ capital grille (her choice for dinner)…a steakhouse chain owned by “darden restaurants”…founded 1990 in rhode island…155 east 42nd street (between lexington and 3rd avenue)…i thought we’d get the cute blonde waitress (who originally approached our table)…instead we got a middle-aged hispanic dude (along with the black man who filled up our tap water cups)…i requested a gin + tonic and a coca-cola…the waiter came back with a gin/tonic/coke concoction…i drank it anyway…when i called him out on it he returned with a small coke bottle…i wasn’t very hungry (and i wanted to get drunk)…i didn’t eat any of the appetizer bread…ordered a caesar salad (~420 calories according to the menu)…~$10…mike eats at rapid speed…doesn’t seem to enjoy the act of eating…i can only wonder what he’s like in bed…blasted through 3 gin + tonics (as well as several glasses of water)…the waiter laughed at me…mama pretended to be concerned about the price of the drinks (though i know what she was really thinking)…and so i switched to guinness…

i ordered from the “chef’s suggestions”…”bone-in kona crusted dry aged sirloin with shallot butter”…kona-coffee-rubbed (mama rightly sensed it was hawaiian)…$47…came with vegetable sides…also ordered the parmesan truffle fries…didn’t finish…had it wrapped up (although mike made a condescending remark to the waiter when he asked whether he wanted his thoroughly-cleared steak plate wrapped…”we don’t have a dog”)…i was scared the waiter would tarnish my food after this rude comment…then they brought out the “birthday cake”…a single candle entrenched in a slice of chocolate cake…cheryl and mike didn’t even have it in them to sing “happy birthday” to me…i blew out the candle without making a wish and let them share the slice…i lost my sweet tooth a long time ago…i ended up with the french fry leftovers (as well as cheryl’s steak)…i resisted the urge to bum a cigarette…retrieved my belongings from mike’s apartment as cheryl pulled her car up to the building…we arrived in princeton in just over an hour…

hit up john the drunk round 10:30pm…he gave me two cigarettes and a steel reserve as a “birthday present”…he seems to be back on some sort of track…drinking coors light and making 9K sales for the company…his kids are athletically excelling…i returned to my steel reserve / vodka combo @ the console…tried a weed lollipop…nothing happened…so i smoked a joint…something happened…@ 4am i decided to wolf down the leftovers and go to sleep…i was up before 9am with the shits…mama gave me another $100 mccaffrey’s gift card…i bought a pack of marlboro reds…then i bought 2 steel reserve 40oz sometime before noon…now i’m on the second “weed lollipop”…i don’t expect to feel anything…got 1-2 more joints left…gotta hit up lisa once again…

points to address:

rapidly growing fingernails

7 august:

lisa won’t have dope until thursday…
(or rather friday morning)
(and she’s “not sure” whether she’ll be back after “work” @ 3pm)

now i’m getting face pimples…

i reached a state of bliss this morning…then i fell off the wagon…loaded up on pizza star @ 3pm (along with a pack of cigarettes + 4 steel reserves)…woke up ’round 7:30pm….the john / chris / lisa trifecta distracted for the remainder of the evening…she gave me a one-hitter…she was going to give me another hit but she dropped it all on the floor…she was extremely insulting (as they all were at one point or another)…i’ve gotta stop slumming it with them…gave away my cigarettes (although i ultimately bummed one from a grumpy john the drunk)…now he won’t even let me call him by that particular moniker (even though we had an agreement)…blumberg’s deleting my music off the dropbox account…chatted with champ and a few rolland runts…i’m sick of dealing with other human beings…wolfed down a snickers + twix from the liquor store…

missed 3 calls from the landlord…i’ll call him tomorrow morning…

8 august:

out of cigarettes…out of dope…less than two steel reserves left…gotta keep making music…

9 august:

steel reserve + marlboro…

didn’t eat yesterday…worked on “ali baba”…almost done…took a midday nap…the steel reserve is giving me diarrhea…

went to mccaffrey’s with john the drunk…bought a pack of cigarettes and a monster…met a cashier named “helena murphy”…a hotter christine yaged…irish and asian (just like john the drunk’s kids)…john the drunk wants to manage me…he has a DJ connection @ WPLJ…”race taylor”…i heard john talk to him via cellphone last night…he wants me to burn him 12 CDs of “surprise store”…gotta get liliana back on board (that ain’t happening unless she smells money)…bummed a few cigarettes from him…got in a gmail chat war with madcow…

i returned to mccaffrey’s before 9pm to pick up the chick…by 8:55pm the front automatic door was closed…so i went through the back door…bought paper plates and a bag for john the drunk…didn’t end up getting the chick…she was being picked up by someone…probably not her boyfriend…

then rolls badmouthed me via facebook to michael morton brown…sounded just like the meatball…

“his kickstarter was a scam”
“his music is going nowhere”
“he should’ve worked on wall street”
“he fucks young girls”
“he’s broke and unemployed”

rolls claimed that michael morton brown made it all up…it sounded genuine to me…

eric paul was around late this morning…i slept from 4am – 10am…bought a pack of cigarettes and an arizona iced tea from mccaffrey’s…the landlord called me (because i promised him i’d deliver the check by 10:30am)…now what?

10 august:

john the drunk has been schizo on me all day…
(as has every other dude in my life)
(god forbid a female get in touch with me)

11 august:

i gave john the drunk tons of cigarettes yesterday…we’re both smoking like fiends…

i finally broke the fast (because i woke up with nasty diarrhea ’round 10am)…had a roast beef hoagie from mccaffrey’s…john the drunk is scared of bugs…he gave me shit for throwing tomatoes in the backyard…

i was a musical workhorse yesterday…blazed through the “last cloud” and “dopeland” tracks…the voice is better than ever (even though i’m coughing up white mucus from cigarettes)…lisa didn’t deliver the dope…so i stuck to red bull and steel reserve…some fat nigger bitch was behind the register @ the liquor store…

once i was done i called up hoagie haven ’round 11:30pm…first they put me on hold…when i called back the line was busy and i couldn’t get through to them…so i decided to make the most of my saturday night…walked to the alchemist + barrister with my guitar…lisa wasn’t working…then i attempted to hit on a 44-year-old bigtittied brunette named jennifer donnelly…she was married…she still gave me a cigarette…i had to follow her inside the bar so she could get her pack…bought myself a gin + tonic with a glass of water…$6 (+ $2 tip)…at least the A+B doesn’t have a “minimum tab” for debit cards…i entertained more meatheads with my attempts at hitting on a “married woman”…they thought i was funny…just like jennifer, they initially lied when i attempted to bum cigarettes off them before finally giving them up…i played some beatles songs on the porch…voice felt as strong as it’s ever been (even though i forgot to bring a pick)…met some dude named “christopher”…he looked like jake jillenhall…an ex-wrestler from blair academy…he dug my music (but just like the bums in austin + NYC he asked to play my guitar)…this time i let him…he played me some lame “neutral milk hotel” song…it was terrible…when i told him i was an ex-wrestler he bought me a gin + tonic and a shot…it tasted like cinnamon…i should’ve just stuck to the floaters…saw patricia bitteto twice and shouted her down…she wasn’t digging it…also shouted down katie elizabeth…she wouldn’t have any of it…met some blue-eyed brunette named “carly leonard”…she told me her name was “jennifer” at first (because her bald friend lied and called himself “steven”…then i met some blonde chick named stephanie…tried picking up two more girls at the bar while rolling with christopher…they weren’t having any of it…christopher told me i was being “too aggressive”…he had two bald high school friends with him…some beautiful blonde chick walked in with a friend…she looked like “sasha small” and i called her out on it…i was wrong…i played her a few songs…upon “last call” the 7 of us left…4 dudes + 3 chicks…christopher went for the ugliest of the bunch (a raven-haired chick named “lauren”)…his bald friend went for the blonde stephanie…i went for jennifer…tried making out with her several times but she wasn’t having any of it…though we did hold hands (until she insisted that we “lock arms” instead)…we walked down nassau street…i stopped on a park bench and played another song…then the other bald friend of christopher went in the opposite direction with jennifer…he called me a creep…i assume the two of them hooked up…the other bald dude started commiserating in someone’s front lawn with stephanie…he was extremely insulting as well…christopher and i instantly bonded…he lost track of his chick…then they took a taxi home…they wouldn’t even give a ride back to my house…but i did get christopher’s phone #…

arrived back @ the house ’round 3am…took awhile to fall asleep…and i was back up @ 6am…more diarrhea…so i decided to hit up dunkin donuts for proper food…orange powerade / toasted everything bagel with chicken salad / toasted everything bagel with cream cheese / toasted sesame bagel with butter…got into an economics debate with two old men…i told them that the federal reserve should be eliminated…they vehemently disagreed…so i left before a fight broke out…pigged out and went back to sleep…back up in less than an hour…got myself another pack of cigarettes…got one more steel reserve left…everybody’s home now…i haven’t masturbated in days…i’m incredibly horny (and uncomfortable)…chatted with champ and cheryl at certain points in the day…they’re the only ones who will take my calls…even john the drunk is sick of me…he doesn’t want me around his (ex) family…shane taylor reported me to paul malchow…malchow was a total buzzkill via g-chat…so i facebook-defriended them…i’m going to be much less generous with my time…gotta “clean up my act” (as they all tell me)…

the landlord left me a letter…i’ll be receiving a third summons…gotta prepare for a friday morning court date…

12 august:

at least i got a good night’s sleep…i was up by 9am (after crashing round 10pm)…

13 august:

today was a bust…broke the b strings on both my acoustic + electric guitars last night (in an attempt to entertain john the drunk on the back porch)…ran out of strings…john the drunk + i drank all the steel reserve @ the liquor store…so i paid $8 for two cans of foster…smoked camel turkish golds like a fiend…developed a nasty cough…i spent most of the evening writing in this blog…attempting to “clean out” my “dopeland” hard drive…christopher, john, lisa, and i had a blast…chris videotaped me fighting john the drunk @ 11pm on sunday night….gotta get him to send me the files via google drive…i was in blackout mode…john the drunk smacked me in the face after i told him i didn’t care about his daughters…i laughed it off and called it a night…i also videotaped john and i in backporch singalong on sunday night…but i’d rather send him a copy of the “surprise store” .wav file (via google drive) then burn him a compact disc…he’s becoming my best friend…i ordered my usual 3 slices (only because the beer was giving me nasty diarrhea)…i ate them ’round 3:30am and called it a night…

i was up before 7am…i felt like shit…major case of the shakes…loaded up on 6 more steel reserves…mama arrived sometime after 10am to drive me to “big bang music” for guitar strings..she gave me the ~$14 (because i intentionally didn’t bring my wallet)…it was raining like a motherfucker…she bought me a lemon snapple / sesame bagel w butter / plain bagel with cream cheese (from “bagels 4 u”)…i had no appetite but ate the buttered bagel anyway…she also brought me clothes from the dry cleaners (as well as a fresh towel)…she offered to do my laundry for me and mail it tomorrow…chatted with rolls…AI left me a voicemail but didn’t answer my return call…i tried my best to get drunk but it only made me feel sicker…so i tried to sleep but the cough + shakes were keeping me awake…so i rubbed one out and watched lots of porn…the room is a mess…at least i didn’t receive a summons (yet)…

it’s time to prepare for the move…

14 august:

i stayed in bed for the remainder of the night…even though chris, lisa, and john were outside getting high and eating steaks…i ignored calls from chris and john…couldn’t get myself out of bed until sometime after noon…then i started drinking…i even tried smoking some unfiltered butts on the back porch…i started to feel better…started doing scientific research…spent the last of my mccaffrey’s card on a footlong ham+cheese hoagie + a bag of potato chips…still shitting…still coughing up mucus…still tired and unmotivated…

gave john the drunk the “surprise store” CD…”race taylor” still hasn’t gotten back to him…also sent him my resume to forward to his boss…he claims that he “couldn’t open the email”…this unreliable fuck couldn’t even listen to my voicemail…i’ll have to go the direct route then…he crankily gave me a cigarette…then he beckoned me outside via text ’round 11pm…it had grown chilly…i was busy blogging…i pissed him off when i asked to use his monthly NJ transit pass for the weekend…within minutes he was back in his room, slamming the door in my face…oh well…chatted with rolls before falling asleep…posted some new songs to youtube…organized the youtube channel…i was in bed before 2am…

15 august:

despite flashes of euphoria in the middle of the night, i still stayed in bed until sometime before 1pm…then i loaded up on more steel reserve…six 24-oz cans for ~$10…that should hold me over until the weekend…waiting for laundry to arrive at the front door…then i’ll finally shower, shave, brush my teeth…

16 august:

cleaned myself up…then headed to mccaffrey’s for a footlong ham+cheese hoagie and bite-sized tostitos chips + a small container of hummus (along with a can of lemon arizona iced tea)…had my meal for the day and promptly passed out…gathered up my spare change and bought a can of grizzly long cut…then i caught back up with john the drunk…changed my resume to “microsoft word” format…

maybe that’s why i can’t get hired…

can no one open a simple “notepad” document?…

john the drunk told me to put my “work experience” in reverse chronological order…that’s counterintuitive to me…

got right back to singing…voice felt better as i continued to drink…still cleaning up / mixing down the “last cloud” + “dopeland” albums…still blogging like a madman…chatted with rolls…i heard him tell “cory” on the phone: “he’s a nut…he’s off the grid”…but i need to speak to people every once in a while…crowley’s leaving for clemson…geraldo rivera ain’t responding to my facebook messages…yamel thompson and i get along great in a digital sense…she’s in a mexican college…is she still going out with caleb?…i sang until late in the night…

i had a very productive recording session last night
(though i could’ve done better)
(i was afraid john the drunk would start complaining)
(he’s been extremely cranky as we approach the end)

then i started video editing…john the drunk is worried i’ll be homeless by month’s end…time is running out…AI called…i didn’t have the heart to call him back…

went through 6 steel reserve cans…that’s getting dangerous…and it’s no good for the digestive system…diarrhea galore…so i bought a 32 fl oz orange powerade and a pint of vodka…that’s the last drink i can afford for a long time…got a bit of dip left…this weekend is going to be rough…i’m so horny…

17 august:

spoke with joseph conroy about the september 21 bordentown show…he says there may be a slot available…he’ll let me know in the next 48 hours…he claims they will have a PA system + drumset…he’s a chubby schoolteacher…married with children…

my songwriting is now being driven by the compulsion to change keys + time signatures as often as possible…this can’t be healthy…

otherwise, “last cloud” + “dopeland” are sounding good…should definitely redo some vocals when i’m in the right mood (read: “intoxicated and/or stoned”)…and there’s always more verses + choruses that can be added…

i got a SECOND pint of vodka last night (along with some tropicana orange juice)…so i drank 1.5 pints of vodka…now i’m almost out…i can’t go broke (again) buying booze…maybe i should just cash that blank check now and prepare for the worst…made a bunch of phone calls + fb friend requests (to chicks)…all were unresponsive…rolls (the “marketing whiz”) even deleted the music i posted to his wall (he said that he “only promotes himself” on facebook…unless it’s a shitty white rapper)…chatted with daniel…he said he wouldn’t listen to my music UNLESS i posted it on his wall…AI didn’t answer my call…john the drunk got negative on me…told me i should’ve stuck with JPMorganChase…he claims that he printed out the resume and gave it to the hiring head…it’s a woman…he said i “wouldn’t be taken seriously”…and yet he hits me up whenever he’s lonely to vent about his problems…baits me with cigarettes (although i’ve given him four AA batteries which more than compensates)…he’s more wrapped up in youth sports…race taylor still hasn’t gotten back to him…he says since i “do nothing” all day i should send my music to the princeton radio station…he knows that i was lying when i said i went to NYC to look at apartments…

then i chatted with damkani by phone…that was probably a mistake…i started to feel myself getting too drunk and so i called it a night sometime before 11pm…pigged out on chips / hummus / two twix bars before bed…i’ll probably be shitting all day…at least i got a good night’s sleep…wonder if i should buy more booze and/or dip or go straight…

i’ve really gotta clean up my facebook page…people only dig my shirtless pics (and chats)…god forbid they become fans of the music…samantha studva seemed into me (until i asked her to drive down for the night)…then she went silent…i should start posting nude pics to facebook (just as a marketing ploy)…but i fear that my account will subsequently be deleted (then what?)

at least i’ve got the house to myself (for now)

two weeks to doomsday…

18 august:

john the drunk won’t leave me the fuck alone…

he’s gone back to banging on my window…just when i started recording great vocals…so i got two cigarettes off the piece of shit…at least his kid “ryan” is visiting tomorrow…he doesn’t want me to meet them…what a fucking hypocrite…

19 august:

john the drunk still won’t leave me the fuck alone…knocked on my window twice yesterday (with a rake)…woke me up in the morning (after i spent all night re-organizing the facebook profile)…he cleaned up the back porch…we went to the liquor store i bought two pints of vodka…he told me there was a new big-tittied brunette working the register @ mccaffrey’s…i went there…she was nowhere in sight…

edited down the outro to “more americana” and began working on a new outro to “too blue” (complete with guitar solo)…i began to feel faint around 6pm (from lack of food)…john the drunk had promised to cook me dinner but for once he wasn’t answering his phone…he probably doesn’t want me around his son…so i balked and spent over $14 @ nino’s pizza star…magic dan called me all day…cheryl left for san francisco this morning…now i’m in the financial danger zone…the pizzeria ran out of iced teas so i ended up with a 2L bottle of coke…i’ll use that to mix with my final pint of vodka…promptly passed out and woke up with nasty shits…probably due to the vegetables on the sicilian slice…john the drunk came a’banging so i went outside and caught up for a few minutes with he and christopher…then i spent the rest of the evening in bed…couldn’t quite fall asleep…strong sense of doom…i jacked off twice just to release the tension…i’ve gotta get me some toilet paper…i’m already starting to hallucinate from alcohol withdrawal…i can probably now handle two pints of vodka / day (though there’s no way i can afford this)…

clark cotton’s giving me the same old rap…i told him he should bring me along to a meeting with his potential “investors” so that i can play songs for them live on the acoustic guitar…

called up the princeton “human services” this morning and left a voicemail…i don’t think i’ll have much luck there…now what?

20 august:

i spent the remainder of the day dredging up music industry contacts…preparing for war…i went through over 2 pints of vodka (plus a snickers bar + handful of tortilla chips)…couldn’t even get through the outro of “too blue”…i came clean about my desperate situation with john the drunk ’round 10pm (and he gave me the final drag of his cigarette)…wasted lots of time talking to rolls on the phone…

went to bed ’round 2am (after a FB rampage)…didn’t have the energy to drag myself out of bed until 1pm…at 8:30am i received a phone call from “princeton human services”…i have an appointment tomorrow @ 3pm to fill out forms…bring a form of ID…municipal court…a 36-minute walk…i have to complete 3 “work orientation” programs in 28 days in order to begin receiving benefits (and they’ll still be on my ass about finding employment)…i should’ve called earlier…

the september 21 concert is @ bordentown “old city hall”…expect ~100 people…encouraged to give a $10 donation / $5 of canned goods…everything’s a “charity event” these days…of course i’ll be performing for free (as usual)…

yamel thompson and heidi diederich are playing clueless with me…am i surprised?

i’ve got one more pint of vodka…not sure whether i should buy another…prepare for the shakes…

so i reloaded on two more pints of vodka and a can of dip…already went through one this afternoon…

lisa sent me a mass text message…beer pong at the house tonight…perhaps i’ll be able to hook up with a few of her female friends from the A+B…maybe a few i already know…or maybe not…i wonder who’s paying for the beer…i wonder when the cops will show up…at least the message motivated me to clean myself up…now i should just lay low until the party (and save my booze)…discovered another dunkin donuts card from mama…i’d better eat before i pass out…she left me a message this morning…talked to AI…he’s happy i’m on the welfare train…mun hoe has already moved out…eric paul has been home all day…christopher is preparing to move now…lisa must be getting sad…

21 august:

i upset my stomach by pigging out on dunkin donuts…their new “pretzel roll roast beef sandwich” is terrible…i asked for a chicken salad on a bagel but the lazy indian gave it to me on a croissant…plus an everything bagel with vegetable cream cheese…it was all cold when i brought it back to the room…i got two orange powerades (one to use as mixer for my vodka)…i ended up having nasty near-diarrhea shits into the morning…in any case, it did make me pass out until the “party” started…

lisa gave me several hits from her one-hitter (i assume she broke her bowl again)…i chatted with rolls on the phone and even gave the phone to john the drunk when he kept bothering me…he said something about how i should start my music career in baltimore…rolls lived in baltimore for a year and hated it…also chatted briefly with magic dan on the phone…champ and roboray didn’t answer…i’ve held off on calling back cheryl…christopher arrived with a 24-pack of miller lite (paid for by he and lisa)…he insisted i play beer pong with them…i used to be great at beer pong in my college years…then i got the “yips” in my post-college years (just like i did with a baseball throw @ age 13)…i didn’t see any way to distinguish myself in the art of throwing a ping-pong ball into a cup and so i subconsciously perform awfully (just so i won’t be asked to play)…so i thoroughly embarrassed myself (i played on teams with both chris + lisa)…john the drunk eventually got sent back to his room like a child and then he went to bed…

lisa brought a young fat black rapper named “cory” to the house…(he’s actually a barista)…they met while he was playing softball…i believe he slept over the house…then she brought along a sketchy character named “tony”…the same “tony” that john claimed dealt him drugs from the alchemist + barrister…tony seemed to hate john the drunk as much as the rest of us…he provided us with a blunt that got me quite thoroughly stoned (i tried to sneak in as many drags as possible when it came my turn in the circle)…i served as “referee” for the rest of the night…christopher tearfully told me that he wanted to keep in touch with me because i “say what i mean”…he’ll be making $18/hour at the chatham hardware store…moving back in with mommy…i should try to get a job there…right now it’s only the manager and him working there…

i ended up writing + recording a great new song…tentatively titled “john the drunk”…it even includes several rap sections (since that is what was playing on lisa’s ipod all night)…i worked on it until late in the night…then i got paranoid when i heard a scream in the backyard…i thought i’d be framed for murder (as everyone else in the house was thoroughly drunk+stoned including two sketchy male characters lisa invited to the house)…

then i ate four reese’s peanut butter cups and a bunch of tortilla chips before passing out…didn’t get going on the day until after noon…the combination of miller lite beer + dunkin donuts food gave me the shits all morning…still got a pint of vodka and a can of dip left…now i’m drinking the leftover beer from last night…can’t get too drunk…gotta meet with the welfare lady…AI already called…

in john the drunk i see evidence of the flawed father figure in my life…later to manifest itself in alex kenwell…overbearing, overattached, oversentimental, oversensitive, thoroughly conventional, prone to obnoxious drunken behavior…

in christopher i see evidence of the flawed brother figure in my life…covertly craving my approval…outwardly mimic the father figure…love of professional sports and generic music…lack of ambition…

in lisa i see evidence of the flawed sister figure in my life…alternately kind + cruel…reluctant to display any sort of affection towards me…a tomboy…

then john the drunk came knocking at my window just to bring me back to reality…at least he gave me a 24oz can of miller high life…and a few strands of toilet paper (i’m all out)…

chatted with AI (he’s preparing for a newport golf weekend)…chatted with michael morton brown (he’s moving to mexico)…roboray still doesn’t answer my calls…continue to play phone tag with rolls and champ…i should really call up cheryl…

still got dip + a pint of vodka left…drank more leftover beers from last night…

22 august:

up all night…didn’t do much recording…more “conceptual organization”…when i ran out of vodka and dip i attempted to sleep…no dice…so i waited for dunkin donuts to open…2 toasted everything bagels w/ cream cheese (they were both stale) and a toasted sesame bagel with butter…orange powerade and fruit punch powerade (to mix with vodka)…riddhi was particularly cold this morning…i also swiped some napkins (to be used as toilet paper and cum rags)…ran into a ratty looking john the drunk as i walked back with my plunder…told him to hurry up or he’d miss his shuttle…

finally passed out ’round 7am…didn’t rouse myself until sometime before 2pm…that’s when i started getting the usual nasty shits…at least i have the house to myself…no summons (yet)…i’ve now got michael morton brown attached at the cellular hip…he’s living for free (for now) with some middle-aged lady named “nancy” who he claims works in the “music industry”…haven’t talked to champ cheryl or rolls in awhile…john the drunk is obsessed with what i’m going to do with that blank check (of course he demands his “cut”)…it’s been raining all day (although it seems to be settling down now)…still there are flash flood warnings in the area…loaded up on two more pints of vodka…i’m just going to have to stay up all night and then board a train to trenton early tomorrow morning…ugh…

23 august:

john the drunk continually knocks at my window despite my protests…i shouldn’t have lied to him about having money in a “business account”…i’m just sick of the stigma associated with poverty…i finally sent him an e-mail demanding he stop knocking on my window…he still texted me the next morning seeing if i “made my class”…i wasted more time chatting on the phone with rolls…bella miscusi didn’t respond to my text message…so i spent the night working on the basic tracks for “mommy”…got a decent rough cut of two sections completed (tagged with a verse of “here comes the sun”)…@ 7am i made the mistake of lying down without setting my alarm…i fell asleep…woke up @ 8am…i had already missed the train that would get me to the work orientation program on time…i set out to catch the next train but abruptly turned around…i didn’t want to be a half-hour late and run the risk of not receiving credit for the course (it’d be a waste of time / energy / $$$)…so i went to dunkin donuts and got a toasted everything bagel with cream cheese / toasted sesame bagel with butter / “big and toasty” sandwich / orange powerade…i left a message for elisa and said that i had a “job interview” that morning…i was able to leave the message before 9am…then i went back to sleep…called her later that afternoon…she rescheduled me for the following week (this reminds me of my struggles last august with the “48-hour” alcohol education program)…it was probably better i didn’t show up today (as i was still thoroughly plastered in the morning)…still plagued with nasty shits…rubbed one out…eric paul is home…i’m not sure whether i should waste any more $$$ on vodka but i don’t think i can get through the day without it…the only way i can make money is to start working on the “repraise” project and hope that AI can wire me cash next week (even though he’s already paid me well in advance)…

bought my “last” two pints of vodka…tried calling my friends (to no avail)…now i’m horny as hell…i’ve gotta be more productive…

24 august:

wasted an hour talking to the damkani brothers…gregory offers to drive to princeton and pick me up…john the drunk deems me “full of shit” (because i won’t go outside and talk to him)…managed to record a working version of “joe’s rose”…i’ve really gotta get in touch with cheryl…she’s back from san francisco…john the drunk continues to knock on my window despite my e-mail…at least he gave me a cigarette…i came clean with him…i’m still shitting despite not eating for over 24 hours…about to run out of booze…all out of tobacco…i passed out until sometime before 2pm…death would be a relief at this point…

25 august:

john the drunk is waging his war against the landlord…

i bought a pint of vodka + can of dip…chatted with both rolland runts…bummed a cigarette from john the drunk…tried calling a bunch of other people but they didn’t answer…i was thoroughly blasted before 11pm…working on a new intro to “penpal”…so i decided to hit the town…christopher said he wanted to go out tonight but he’s incommunicado…i lied about “playing at the ivy inn” to everyone i encountered…

@ winberie’s i met a sexy nose-ringed curly-haired brunette…tried to get her phone # but she “had a boyfriend”…tried bumming cigarettes to no avail…later in the evening she rubbed my hair as i was playing guitar…

went to the A+B…bummed a cigarette from “nicholas” (the same schlump who saw me strike out with the married chick a few weeks ago)…katie elizabeth was the only waitress i recognized…then i hit on some older chick talking to a faggot…the bartender @ “mediterano”…he knew vanessa romero…the older chick seemed more interested in some bespectacled older guy…even though she eventually turned him down…played some songs for them…some other older blonde chick told me to play “anything but the beatles”…then they all left…

met a pair of “lesbians” (along with a schlump hanger-on)…my voice was in great form…smoked several of her camel cigarettes…played some songs for them…melissa was the first one to approach me…she wanted to touch my guitar…

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we were all arm-in-arm…right out of the “wizard of oz”…the schlump had to work @ 10am the next morning…

melissa drove me home ’round 2am…i was hoping to get some action but didn’t know how to play it…the schlump’s number is (845)706-3212…as usual i was left with hugs and a lingering hard-on…

i still haven’t eaten all day…

with $20 in my bank account, i’ll have to produce music videos for AI this week in order to have any spending money…i ended the night by pigging out on food left behind by the other housemates (mostly kimchi and cereal) and the rest of my tortilla chips…then i rubbed one out and went to bed ’round 4am…i was up before 11am when i heard a knock on my door…the landlord left a note…a copy of the signed promise i made to pay him july late fees / august rent / august late fees / court fees / plumbing fees…i still haven’t made good on my promise…he had someone come in and clear the bathroom…i assume he’s going to start showing new tenants the house…then john the drunk got into an argument with him…with cigarette in mouth and beer in hand…he called the police and filed a complaint against the landlord…then he cursed me out for not being a “witness” to the argument…i just don’t want to be dragged into any other mess…instead i went into my room and jacked off…

i’m at the same place i was last year…instead of skipping out on 48-hour “alcohol education” programs, i’m skipping out on “work orientation” programs…i’m still dependent on AI for funding…i’m still drinking vodka (although i’m running out of money)…john the drunk became the new “jimmy” (a middle-aged loud loser who initially befriends me and offers me favors before turning on me after i don’t sufficiently “back him up” in his struggles)…

now what?

26 august:

bummed several cigarettes from christopher…he won’t be back until thursday…by then i’ll be putting my things into storage…john the drunk slipped me a valium…cheryl will be here thursday 3pm to move my belongings…i need to be moved out by saturday @ 2pm…she suggests i “move to trenton”…but then i can’t get rent assistance…

i texted both the lesbians ’round 8pm…neither of them knew who i was…melissa goes by “rashmi”? (indian word for “light ray”)…

27 august:

john the drunk woke me up before 6am…

28 august:

i’m definitely on a bender…

29 august:

i’m on a bender…

i ended up sleeping until 2pm…chester cua and mike pellagatti are publicly defaming me via facebook…i told them both off…wendy wilton amo wouldn’t accept my “jogabot” friend request (but she did friend me on the “joe gatti” account)…

i walked to bank of america and cashed the check for $1000…still waiting on the angry phone call from cheryl…i went to whole earth center and got two fruit drinks (a “naked” tropical mango fruit smoothie and a peach sparkling drink)…they need to keep their drinks colder…then i got a container of egg salad and two spinach pies with feta cheese…ended up costing me over $14…then i went to the liquor store for a bottle of popov vodka and camel turkish golds (plus tropicana orange juice bottle for mixer)…i’m already starting to get the shakes…

cheryl eventually called and seemed apologetic…she said to work out the “move out” with champ…i told him to come tomorrow morning…that way he can drive me to trenton for the work orientation program…john the drunk still doesn’t know how to handle the restraining order…AI’s calls went straight to voicemail…when i finally talked to him he seemed sympathetic…

30 august:

then john the drunk arrived (along with rob) to thoroughly kill my buzz…continued working through the “dopeland” album…i only packed up a few belongings…the computer and hard drive are still in the bedroom for the time being…i’m scared to move them…

a 20-minute drive…we chatted for a few minutes before some schlump told us he “couldn’t park” in front of the building…so he dropped me off for the “work orientation” and left to play golf down the shore…

by this time i was gagging from too many cigarettes / lack of sleep / lack of booze…i returned to the house and tried to catch some sleep…

time to prepare for war…

john the drunk harassed me all day…i foolishly left the back door open (or he threatened to walk up from downstairs)…rolls kept calling me…i tried my best to get drunk all day but i don’t think have it in me any longer…went through an entire can of dip…spent most of the day recording alternate shuffle groove intros to the songs from the “dopeland” album…

31 august:

finished the “dopeland” youtube video…now i’m back to blogging…chris showed up with his hometown friend “jim”…i bummed a marlboro off him…chris is packing up his apartment now…i asked him to pick me up two 8-inch plaster casts from the hardware store (at a discounted price)…john the drunk claimed that he had already asked christopher for the casts…christopher told me that i’d need sheetrock to fix the hole and that his hardware store didn’t sell it…i need to cut a square around the hole (with what?) and insert the sheetrock…he claims that home depot sells sheetrock…the walls are so old that all it took was a fall into the wall for it to break…now i suppose i’ll cover it up with papers…john the drunk noticed the shit stains on the back of my jeans…he told me that my bedroom and kitchen “stink”…so i did a quick “cleanup” of the dirty dishes in the sink (mostly the fault of mun hoe)…the slumlord is trying to charge me extra for “damage” to the sink caused by a “hot plate”…i don’t see any sign of damage…this has to be mun hoe’s fault as well…hopefully i’ll never see him again…

john the drunk is being his usual schizophrenic self…claiming that he could cover the hole in my wall with “cardboard and a box cutter”…i abandoned him to take a shower…he continued to annoy me while i was in the shower…said i was being paranoid…he’d rather have company on the back porch…he put a sign on the basement door requesting that the landlord not visit the premises without 24 hours notice…

i foolishly gave all my towels to mike friday morning…now i’m using a dirty pair of sweatpants as a towel…shaved the bottom of my beard and finally brushed my teeth…now i’m bracing myself for the arrival of the landlord…back to drinking vodka and water…christopher doesn’t believe that the landlord will show…he left his apartment a mess (since he knows he’s not getting the security deposit back)…

the landlord showed up with his wife sometime after 2pm…i told him i was unable to move out today…i told him that i signed a year lease on 5 september 2012 and assumed that the lease lasted until 5 september 2013…since i didn’t have a copy of the lease, i did not know on what date the lease ended…at first he was going to make me sign another statement saying which date i’d move out on…i was wary of this…so he called the police and told me he’d charge me september rent if i stayed in the house after today…two police cars arrived with a middle-aged white cop and a chubby hispanic cop…i used the last of my clothes and greeted the cops in mid-conversation with the dablans…i shook both their hands and introduced myself…said i wanted to tell my side of the story…they said they weren’t even talking about me…they said that the conflict with the landlord was a civil matter and they wouldn’t be involved…

i was the only one to initially confront the dablans…john the drunk proved himself to be a coward and didn’t answer my multiple phone calls (and knock on the window)…he claimed he’d been “sleeping”…he finally came out of the room after the dablans came knocking…he went out to talk to the cops with ciggie in mouth…he’d been drinking since 5:15am…i can’t take any more of him…i’ve been sweating profusely all day (but i still look good)…at least i’m taking healthy bowel movements again…getting sick of vodka…switched to a 24-pack of budweiser and another can of grizzly long cut dip…plus a pack of rolling papers (double wide) in case lisa comes through for me tomorrow…

been chatting with rolls all day…missed a call from cheryl (i’m afraid to talk to her)…AI hasn’t been returning my calls…gotta find a way to post longer videos to the internet…

now john the drunk is chatting in the front yard with a “patrol supervisor” (even though he claimed he had to talk to the detective on tuesday morning)…why do conversations with the police take so long?…do they have nothing better to do?  john the drunk bitched at me for calling him multiple times during his conversation with the cop…when i lashed out at him, he got friendly again and invited me outside…

i told him “later”…

he got angry again and repeatedly slammed his door…

now he’ll just watch television all night…

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👈👈👈 ☜ *“AUGUST 2012”*

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*“AUGUST 2014”* ☞ 👉👉👉

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👈👈👈 ☜ *“JULY 2013”*

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*“SEPTEMBER 2013”* ☞ 👉👉👉

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👈👈👈☜*“AUGUST JOURNALS”* ☞ 👉👉👉

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💕💝💖💓🖤💙🖤💙🖤💙🖤❤️💚💛🧡❣️💞💔💘❣️🧡💛💚❤️🖤💜🖤💙🖤💙🖤💗💖💝💘

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*🌈✨ *TABLE OF CONTENTS* ✨🌷*

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🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥*we won the war* 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥