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*INTRO*
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*SOUNDTRACKS*
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*CLIPS*
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*CHORDS*
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*LYRICS*
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*DEVELOPMENT*
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*ENSEMBLE*
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*PRODUCTION*
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*PERFORMANCE*
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*STORYLINES*
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*REVIEWS*
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*OUTRO*
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(***BACK TO “THE BATTLE OF PRINCETON”***)
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*TABLE OF CONTENTS*
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*”WE WON THE WAR”*
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“hmm” said arv
name that tune
i’m gonna break you down
i’m gonna wear you out
i’m gonna tie the knot
and we’ll remain the same
remain chained to one another…
become a little more superstitious
you sons of bitches
i’ll seeya later…
i’m gonna try again
so many private beaches out of reach…
what more to ask for?
i’ll make you feel powerless too…
and with your permission take center stage
(an eating club vows to collect the head of joga to display on their mantelpiece by graduation’s end)
lay your shriveled hand upon the world
no more going broke…
me me my my
the (self) destruction of jona
“it’s alive!”
AI as meatloaf in “paradise by the dashboard light”
growing up with a fantasy is never a good game to play
whenever you’re that far away
should i call you at a certain time?
two thousand pounds of joy
he’ a prick and i’m a drunk
take your pick
releasing my story to a conservative media outlet…
chuck abel in “grandpa weirdo”
may we never recover
may we never repeat
“til i turned kerri green…”
i spotted a killian in the village
gave her the good ole once over
then i delivered a short sharp shock
i don’t think i’ll ever forget you
come rain or come shine
AREOLA
SMOTHER
SILLY
COLD TURKEY
TERRIFIC
MY UNDERSTUDY
START FROM SCRATCH
the great king brown
you’ll rule the world for 15 minutes
then you’ll have a panic attack
and go back to bed for good
where art thou young hebrew prince?
deflowering a young noblewoman jewess?
when the shit hits the fan you’ll be sitting on the can
cat got your tongue
y so tired?
is brown bear hibernating?
mmm sexy
anyone to cuddle up with?
i volunteer for the job
stoned at last!
stoned at last!
i have surrendered at last
now i’ve got grass up my ass
(not shitstains young son)
i ate a ricardo
pink salt on my bagel
i slept with mulatto
she’s dying of cancer
i was fooled by a redhead
she’s well over 30
i squeezed the life right out of her
my brother is bleeding from the ears
the long deceased are walking the streets
i couldn’t seal the deal
she wouldn’t feel my eel
she had me in cuffs by the end of the night
you hit the jackpot yet?
or did you forget to bet?
the criminals came out to play
the KKK took my baby away
mild-mannered buddha
“haha jogabot you crazy!”
“holy snikeys!”
this weird bleeding heart ready to explode…
for being really really creepy…
(in reference to doctor taking pics of patients)
(female anchor on channel 10 with doctor drew)
why don’t we meet up in philly?
where my brothers and sisters reside
where my brothers and sisters wasted their lives away
you are the coldest turkey…the cutest baby…the cruelest criminal…the crazy lady…
big deal
i’m totally lonely…nobody loves me…nobody knows me…
monkey in the middle
well that sure beat the leaderboards
in your slow dog puppy shoes
are you sure wannna refuse?
price
dont let em run down the price of rice…
nope blonde dog, you can keep your cool
i didn’t expect to be adroid ma’am
ohh will they get my testigals examined
you say that you’ve been here???
favorite balloon
i betchay 99% of the time
stand u
continue
u got
STONED
(we don’t like you)
you got
STONED
(we don’t like you)
(awww…)
i’m in my final year
colorado
rocky mountains
colorados comin….
california in the desert
arizona arizona
you’re an alcie, aintchya?
(its the most popular name)
you’re an alcie, aintchya?
(its the most popular name)
morton brown
do you solemnly swear to tell the entire truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you god?
i do solemnly swear
din’t you dear
you nearly had me roped and tied
sugarbabe
mister sleepaday
mister sleepaday
(you sleep every day?)
mister wall street lite
mister wall street lite
can you stay out of my room?
can you build a sweet cocoon
my temperature is fine
my temperature is fine
but you’ve gotta keep your cool
i’m gonna lose my contacts too
just as easily as you
ramb bab dambadeedoo
ramb bam dambadeedooda
ram ba dambadeedoo
i didn’t mean to exclude ya
how do you do sir?
i’m fine…
and how bout you sir?
if you’re just like me…
i’ll be just like you…
my heart is like an open book
but you refuse to look
but you refuse to look
you make me feel just like a common crook
when you refuse to look
when you refuse to look
whose a hooligan now?
one more lap to victory
if i notice you, then think of me
oh….that’s how we are…
oh…that’s how we are…
ravenous snake, i’ve outgrown you
i’m gonna eat you
i can’t defeat you
oh well…this may be your lucky day…
oh ravenous snake i woulda loved to
there’s scary little man up there
and you’ll meet him in a little while
i’m gonna pick up all these little girls and ride them for awhile…
i’m gonna teach em all i’ve even and go out with a smile
we’ll spread our little wings and start to fly in style…
her lips were sad as mine
i’m just as bad as you
did you forget our little rendezvous?
they wouldnt miss u
she’s still a stileted girl
i ride the tilt-a-whirl
get on your knees and make it right
somewhere there’s seven girls
who look a lot like you
their boyfriends left them there
their
pop goes the weirdo
you show me yours…i’ll show you mine…
it’s a lonely world out there when you’re all by yourself…
beautiful mistake…
one step makes you a slave…
one foot in the grave…
will you suffer for fallulah too?
(gaybird: “you sure outrank the duke!”)
doug benson with puppy dog claws:
“is this feasible?”
you think it’s funny do you?
i aint got nothin gainst the local commmunity
you can breathe?
for breakfast?
the war shalll be fought with bullets and swords and guns and all kinds of raging hard ons
i came back
game on
he’s a racist!
(mother holding daughter:)
(“she’s my baby!”)
in country voiice….that’lll be now and that’ll be then and then and then and again and again and again….
we combed your hair…
we knew you’d lose!
the enslavement of mexicans becomes a national pastime
with our whips and our chains and our generational rage
we gun reclaim this here stage
(uncle jimmy at the rodeo:)
(you…p-pp-p-.pusssyyyyy)
(cmhere u pussy)
where did my heroes go?
are they further down the road?
are they ready to explode
you can say what you say but what you say willl never stay in its place
as the sun sets in the east
and the ashes blow to the west
the wild ones dance….
so we got through monday…..
and now we prepare for tuesday…..
this reminds me of a prayer…
joga comes out as frontman to stage with roll of his head
(his icon reads “christine fisher”)
“why won’t he marry me?”
on the roayrd again…..
miss reggie’s a terrible sinner…
a heretic….
cue a middle school play:
parts were passed around
i felt i was going down….
i choose to lose
and it got bad
my pupils were poppin
plenty of beanies are lyin around
there’s evil in the east
easier to the west
find the source that’s troubling you, eliminate the threat
we’ve gotta wait for awhile
while you’re starting to hear
we’ve got a ways to to decide on lives
i’m gonna go out west and grow some hair on my chest until i figure out a place i can
baby so peculiar babe we ain’t got time
and a roomful of booze
i’m sure she is a lesbian….
i’m sure he is a queer…
spend the rest of their lives
most of them jokes
justin and john attacking dorothy after she murders joga between fits of sobs….
while dog hunkers off to the back
i’ve waited on it
and gave up on it
so i’m not so sure how it goes
and her radiant sadness is hidden with all of her might
i want you to know that i’ve been there before
and that’s how i know there’ll be a showdown
you’ll be locked up for life
lydia: “where has she gone?”
night and day…right away…
laguna beach
boy is it cold
like the rolly polys say (nathan: brrr)
boy is it cold
let the golden oldies play
boy is it cold
let the wind blow you away
eminem
carrot booty
pom poms
i hear he’s made of money
we’ll go the distance
start rumblin with all of their might
your sand is my sand
chew me like gum
ch-ch-ch-chew me like gum
monday sunday
we’ll set aside some time to make the master race
at our own pace….
are you a censor?
commence the chase
start building up that master race today
are you a cancer?
are you a blister?
i shoulda kissed her
are you a pension
and she ever wanted was a piece of cake
put me up there on the leaderboard
give me one more award
i blame the television
there’s another girl
you’re either a parasite or a path to light…
taking it deep…
taking it raw…
say what you saw…
we knew he was a winner…
relax don’t do it…let it come through to you
you’re a lovely pig, lonely violet, i love you
her family is far too old
they wouldn’t know a thing about it
her boyfriend is far too bold
someone better than mine
disease
trapeze
where’d you learn to hate?
hatred for me
i know you are habit-forming
i know that you have it in for me
make an aryan of me
i’m gonna hit it right outta the park
hard-on…
it’s none of your business…
my father’s a flame, my mother’s a saint…
she claimed that she couldn’t, then suddenly faint…
i didn’t say it…
i only know it…
i didn’t spray it…
i only grow it…
(no, i’m no poet…)
nothing more than a whore…
one must be approved by the wrinkly-faced…
all those that are better are all but erased…
and it burns burns burns…
leaves nothing to imagination…
your sticky icky morning breath
your freaky creaky bedtime bones
i want them one more time
my messy methhead…that’s what you called me…
my sexy sleepyhead…i swear you said…
one more time…
crashing teeth cascade, collide…
one more time
again
ok
shock and awe
the prettiest little picture in town
little sister
where the winters are as cold as ice…
naked and rich…
long distance…
a mexican witch eating french fries…
on the beach…
just out of reach…
“he’s definitely dunking more than donuts…”
friggin fragnito
that chubby stubbly schizophrenic jewish teddy bear face
my blackadar’s ajar…
herky jerky falsetto mixed with beautiful melody
(singing to beckert in a ballerina dress)
(“i can show you the world…”)
(“wat the fuq emily?”)
(“he’s way too weird to be your brother”)
michael morton brown
the clown without a crown
i’ve got 16 categories i’m working on…
AFFIRMATIVE ACTION
(race)
DEATH OF A BOZO
(classic rock dinosaurs)
DREAM DATES
(fantasy girls)
GIRL TALK
(reality girls)
IN ABSENTIA
(death)
MAKE A WISH
(fantasy)
MANHUNT
(crime + punishment)
SENIOR CITIZENS
(old age)
SILENT STARS
(the sun)
SIM CITY
(architecture)
SIXTEEN CANDLES
(emma wolin)
THE CRUSADES
(religion)
THE WAGON
(drugs)
TIME TO SHINE
(goals)
WEIRDOS
(abnormalities)
WRITER’S BLOCK
(creativity)
tried texting larnald to no avail…
called him a strange amalgam of john hughes / robert pollard / louis CK…
new songs:
surfer girl
god only knows
maybe i’m amazed
taking advantage…
love is all you need…
“carrot booty 2”
(b-side: “jap happy”)
(dedicated to our dead friend devon)
i’m manson with bubbly teenage runaways
til a jealous copper catches me squeezing a bubbly breast
where art thou rob roy?
sweet yellow haired boy
have the swedes took you in?
are you living in sin with a finn?
“busking under the influence”
“busking while intoxicated”
fat matt…
negro leagues
sailin to sumter to address his grievances
smoke me
i am an animal
study your books
i have got some good old lovin if you’ve got some vasoline
(and she was all of 17…)
anthony peeking through the window as the boys are having a laughfest with pete rose…
(and subsequently shoots up the studio)
(“exploring the outer limits of the situational comedy”)
(in tremolo robotic voice:)
“move over jack muse now the joke is on you…”
bowing lady justice to “princess christmas”
pom poms…
i wrote you a poem…
just like jacquelina divine…
ten little indians
let my baby down easy
my will
(“my little lucy now…”)
clark cotton…may he never be forgotten…
ain’t it great how history repeats itself?
we’re still the same squealing teenagers…
fap and you fap and what happened?
hornier than a black boy on easter sunday…
let’s weep together
power words
hamburger!
michael morton brown
are you still feeling down?
are you lying to your shrink?
do you speak before you think?
do you say before you do?
do you
now that the robin is dead, will so go the voice in your head?
a symbol of your affliction
with differing addictions
with similar constitutions
play with gretchen
marc anthony
august / caucus
michael brown’s body
the ghost of robin
he’s a jackass
a total jackass
and he’s eating off me for free
stand by your man
with blumberg in hand
all hypersexual
“my dear chou”…”yay!”
i keep inquiring as to his wild sexual escapades…imagined kinky roleplaying games…
and now i am beginning to alienate my final remaining ally (just as i done did with moose)…
roboray in full-out grinding mode (but he needed more booze)…
i creep out coeds
i terrify teenagers
i weird out women
i gross out girls
i make men mad
(MMB suggests i rape rabbits)
heehee!
wanna write a comedy?
we’ll be “the creeps”
he’s a cuter seth rogen…i’ll be played by sarah silverman or mary louise parker in blackface (ala judy garland)…
rolls new name: “ruth” (opposite of “ruthless”)
aidan: “from the collective to the correctional”
you can call me the breeze…
i sleep in libraries…
make meals of moldy cheese…
climb a tree…
you gotta meet my niece…
“oh she’s so smart”…
“they’ll enter your entrances….she’ll welcome them in…”
(in irish accent:)
oh those robos grow i’m flying so low flying solo!
office…office…office…i offered them all…i offered them all to paul…
you take our pictures…
but you’re proud to be ashamed…
mixed in the misery and pangs of nostalgia
you tried to escape but they followed ya
we vote in the election but it doesn’t matter anyway
our approvals and rejections are all lost at the bay
paid my final parking ticket
i drove a mile a minute
all that remains is an artificial stain
(cobain done die, cobain done die)
when all is said and done
we’ve spent centuries searching for the same old sun
i don’t need me no man
i’ve been workin on my tan (to no avail)
i’m still as pale as ever
cartoon depiction of JFK affairs
big bub bubba in action
just another poor man pouring out his hard-earned honesty
drawing a line in the sand
just the pull of gravity is keeping me landed
mckinsey made you play pretend
i win again, I win again
let’s cut to chase, and see your face
here come the loser former jock
take off your apron and put on your smock
the marvelous man in the middle
long past a pardon
the game is on
the thrill is gone
had me a midlife crisis
came early this year
wont know its over til she talke it from me
had me a four leaf clover
value my freedom
beware what you feed’em
we haven’t gone crazy at all
only the good ones go to the mall
all these wars I’ve waged within
what are these street rules that always seem to be taking effect? leaves me with a helluva lotta parking fines!
i was right on all along
a long time ago I lost my direction
I came this close to perfection
I’m trying my best to keep a straight face
all systems in place
polar bear / polarized
I’m a bull market
as popular as possible
my mind’s a maze
we were lost for days
serving not a purpose
cut your baby loose
(la lesson)
long live the nastiest nigger
who got this idea in his head
‘try a little tenderness’
(otis redding)
legends in disguise
heroes in reverse
what kind of monster did this?
(line for mad cow to say in many different ways)
big fat flying idiot
feed me to flames
and reign for a day
give me a chance
here’s a chance to do right
if you will
my operations have led to decay
they’ve murdered our elders
need emilia
chu-bear
infected our youth
give me a wealth of information
under instructions to leave me alone
do you often find yourself weak in the knees
unable to breathe?
enjoyed in my youth
my former flames always get in my way
a word to the wise
another lie that she wants to believe
enough of the world
to the parts of the world
what did you mean?
it was a piece of cake to stay awake
do it over again
turn it out to a new friend
willing to be miserable
will of mister vegetable
not what he expected
injected
rejected
fearless
cogent
quotient
picture picture
pick the perfect picture
Try to call me again
she compliant
me defiant
When the going getting tougher
She will follow the trend
She securey
Me no aforee
(eric dancing steer_
you can t try to soften the seagulls
you hate more hatred than…
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