*”SUPER MARIO BROTHERS 1″*
(1985)
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*”SUPER MARIO BROTHERS 2″*
(1988)
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*”SUPER MARIO BROTHERS 3″*
(1990)
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NINTENDO:
“super mario brothers”
MARIO 1:
beat bowser in ‘super mario brothers I’ for the second time this week. super mario brothers II was always a bit too trippy for my tastes. but mario I is a masterpiece. it also imparts important life lessons.
the first (and most important): know where your warp zones are located. as crucial as fire exits on a building. if you know where the warp zones are and are digitally dexterous enough to get to them, you can have the game beaten by the time the pizza man rings your doorbell. once i figured this out, i had the game beaten in 20 minutes flat. and then i ate an entire pizza. i pretended it was baked by princess peach.
this is where the internet age of aggregate knowledge comes in handy. as children, we were forced to figure out these things on our own. sort of like how the beatles used to travel to the next town to discover how to play the vaunted B7 chord as teenagers (they had E and A down cold by then). one of paul mccartney’s favorite recycled stories as he passes out gold nuggets to slobbering journalists. what he neglected to mention was that the man who taught them the V chord was a creepy old man who plotted to make the beatles his butt buddies. they barely escaped when scrappy georgie nailed the old man square in the balls with his boot. a few years later, david bowie wasn’t so lucky. the risks of going it alone, i’m afraid.
(but all’s well that ends well. a few decades later, after a heart-to-heart with fellow method actor robert deniro, he came to his senses and eloped with a beautiful nubian princess)
…anyway, once you figure out how to reach the warp zones, you only have to get through 8 levels to win the game (instead of 32). and besides a suspicuously low final score, no one will ever know the difference. just say you were too busy trying to rescue the princess to worry about collecting coins on the way (i’m still waiting for the jewish version in which mario is created from a dreidel made of clay)
in an alternate sense, warp zones can actually make the game more difficult for the inexperienced gamer. for with warp zones, you are zapped to the most difficult final levels of the game without building up an arsenal of 1-ups necessary for multiple takes of the same levels. there’s no fanfare at the end. you just discover the princess and she tells you to push a button to play the game all over again in a slighty different format (same levels, new enemies). this disturbed me.
i rediscovered the deflating fact that over half of the game is a cinch. as i conquered a fear of virtual heights long ago and have built up skills in the digital jumping department, the tricky death-defying jumps of the final levels posed no problems. i try to speed through the levels as fast as possible, learning naturally how to jump furthest to maximize speed (which the game rewards you for as each level is timed).
the introduction of warp zones was an early attempt at video game programmers pandering to their consumers by allowing them to customize their own playing experiences instead of being forced to confront the challenges in the order laid out by the programmers. in sonic the hedgehog, a cheat code upon the title screen (up down left right / hold A + start, oh the pleasures of a photographic memory!) allows the player to select any of the 18 levels. this means that a player can technically ‘beat’ the game by zapping to the final level and easily beating the goofy doctor robotnik (who reminds me of my high school biology teacher who ironically (or fittingly, depending where you fall on the misanthropic spectrum) used to take perverse pride in not having had any children). not that sonic is very difficult anyway. as long as you have at least one ‘ring’ in your piggy bank, you don’t die (barring a slip into some virtual abyss). a game with a very capitalistic slant, mind you.
the old man gave me shit for playing mario. he suspects i’m regressing by partaking in an activity that i used to do as a child. especially with the stigma of collecting unemployment and living in the parental basement for the time being. i don’t mind. he gives my champ similar shit. he assumes champ’s still afraid of everything (terrorist attacks, e coli viruses). i also played soccer at age 6 mind you. is he gonna give me shit if i decide to kick around a soccer ball on a warm sunny day?
MARIO 2:
of the four characters to choose from, i’d go with luigi. those time-suspended ‘midair run/jumps’ sure come in handy as you make your way through those well-worn psychedelic dreamscapes.
i don’t think i ever owned ‘mario II’ as a child. it probably would’ve cleared up a lot of things for me. it’s easily the most psychedelic of the mario series. the plot has something to do with dreams and eternal recurrence. so i soaked up the levels at the homes of more privileged friends.
but i mastered mario I and mario III. guess i’ll have to beat mario II before i can finally have the princess bake my cake. but mario II throws the male libidinal plotline for a loop. because this time, the princess is one of the characters to choose from (instead of the ‘damsel in distress’ / ‘reward’). either the femi-nazis finally reached nintendo headquarters in japan or the nintendo execs decided to branch out to female gamers.
MARIO II:
cheat codes:
“warp to world 4”
Go to world 1-3 and find a potion. Now find the vase next to the brick building all the way to the right side of the level. Drop the potion and go into Sub-Space and then warp into the vase (stand on top of it and press down) You will warp to World 4!
*warp to world 5*
Go to world 3-1 and go through the door to the large waterfall with all the clouds. Now jump down and land on the platform in the center and enter. Take the potion and drop it near the vase. Enter Sub-space and warp through the vase (press down on the vase) You will warp to World 5!
*warp to world 6*
Go to world 4-2 and get the potion. Now find the vase and put the sub-space door next to it (drop it from atop the vase) Now enter sub-space and warp. You now warped to World 6
*warp to world 7*
Go to world 5-3 and get the potion (make sure you can squat-jump to the vase, you need to get someone with a good jumping ability or use an enemy to give you a boost.)
Put the sub space door near the vase and enter sub space and warp into the vase. You are now in world 7!
MARIO III:
Level 1-3
Find the white block near the end and crouch on top of it for 5 seconds. Then proceed to the goal, and go behind it. You will find a Mushroom house with a Whistle.
Obtained by flying above the level at the very end of the first area. Start all the way on the right side past the door and run to the left, taking off at the last second.
A Warp Whistle is an item from Super Mario Bros. 3. Using it sends Mario (or Luigi) to the Warp Zone. From here, he can skip up from the middle of a world to the start of a later world. Using it in World 1 will allow Mario to warp to World 2, 3, or 4. Using it in a world from 2 through 6 will allow him to warp to World 5, 6, or 7. Using it World 7 or 8 will allow him to warp to World 8. If a second whistle is used while in the warp zone, then the player is taken directly to the World 8 Pipe.
(used to buy gamer magazines to learn all these tricks of the trade. now i just surf the net…)
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👈👈👈☜*“SUPER MARIO BROTHERS”* ☞ 👉👉👉
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💕💝💖💓🖤💙🖤💙🖤💙🖤❤️💚💛🧡❣️💞💔💘❣️🧡💛💚❤️🖤💜🖤💙🖤💙🖤💗💖💝💘
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*🌈✨ *TABLE OF CONTENTS* ✨🌷*
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🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥*we won the war* 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥