"macca journals"

*LETTERS TO PAUL*

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“your conclusions?!?”

(says a faux-smarmy incredulous paul)
(trying his best not to pounce on me with his frail liver-spotted fists)

“YOUR conclusions???”
“your CONCLUSIONS???”

(“PAUL MCCARTNEY!”)
(sing the gaybird ‘scissor sisters’)

(my favorite beatle)
(and primary musical influence)
(since age 12)

how well do i really know paul mccartney?
(i’ve wasted a lot of my life thinking about him)
(instead of living my own life)
(his mother died at age 13)
(my mom’s still alive well into adulthood)

will i ever meet him?
will he ever hear my music?
will we ever make music together?
would it be worth it?

liliana loved the fact that he chose MGMT as a collaborator
(she knew that would piss me off)
(let him record with kanye west)
(he doesn’t make any good music anyway)
(trash him like billy joel did)
(with a backhanded compliment)
(“his voice is so good that he can get away with singing those dopey songs”)

(he grew up poor)
(i grew up rich)

(he was a poor student)
(i was a good student)

(he was an extrovert)
(i’m an introvert)

(he lost his virginity at 15)
(i’m way less sexually experienced)

(he is 42 years older than me)
(old enough to be my grandfather)

(great britain vs. united states)
(bass guitar vs. lead guitar)

(he became famous by age 20)
(i’ll probably never be famous)
(and it’s all my fault)

(he was a moderate drug user)
(i’m a heavy drug user)

(we both became heavy dope smokers in our early 20s)
(our drugs of choice)

(we both became one-man-bands)
(both have younger brothers named ‘michael’)
(and we are both roughly 18 months apart)

(who we inevitably overshadow)
(both firstborns)
(both named after our fathers)
(his first name is actually “james”)
(my middle name is “james”)
(after mother’s black irish dead father)
(who i never met)
(who i’ll never know)
(how scared is grandma naj everyday?)

(similar songwriting approaches)
(same black irish looks)
(similar vocal ranges / tones)

(he was married with children)
(by age 27)
(first child named ‘mary’ for paul’s dead mother)
(his father james married a hot 34-year-old angela williams after his wife’s death)

(but he taught me how to sing)

(the old man mocked me to his friends in 2006)
(when i mentioned that i thought i was better than mccartney)
(richie jambrina ridiculed me)
(like he’ll ever listen to my music)

(in 2007 the old man disparaged my music by saying that “it sounds like paul mccartney”)
(with that fake smile of his)
(implying that it had all been done before)
(christmas 2007)
(“gingerbread house”)
(when i played him the song in the car as he drove me back to the train station)
(he said he didn’t want to hear any of my music unless it was making money)
(that should’ve lit a fire under my ass)
(instead it made me hate him)

“vocal forefathers”

“call paul!”
“call paul mccartney!”

beatles bassist + lead singer
perfect pitch

*yes, paul still smokes a lot of weed in his old age*

(built a ‘comfy-cozy’ grass-enhanced empire / alternate universe)

(macca is lame / he can’t even sing ‘every night’ very well)

(and a narcissist to boot)

(they are all addicted to crowd adoration)

he does interviews WITH his wife in 1984 for playboy?

he admires stevie wonder and stephen sondheim

(the blacks and the jews)

but puts down michael jackson

(fellow control freak / chameleon)

if I could somehow merge all of the strengths of Paul McCartney, Gordon Gekko, Tony Montana, Michael Corleone,

(i watched a youtube interview with paul mccartney + paula yates from the 1980s and i wondered whether linda ever allowed him off the leash from time to time)

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(paula offed herself soonafter)

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👈👈👈☜*“PAUL MCCARTNEY”* ☞ 👉👉👉

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💕💝💖💓🖤💙🖤💙🖤💙🖤❤️💚💛🧡❣️💞💔💘❣️🧡💛💚❤️🖤💜🖤💙🖤💙🖤💗💖💝💘

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*🌈✨ *TABLE OF CONTENTS* ✨🌷*

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🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥*we won the war* 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥