INTRO:
tinder!
(“i’m at turdy turd n turd…”)
(do the ‘swipe right shuffle’!)
(think of the ‘back in orbit” intro)
PART 2:
(to screenshots of ‘the malchows ‘n me’)
you were the ‘laurel’ to my ‘hardy’…
the mother of my goose
the rum in my bacardi
the knot in my noose…
the knot in my noose..
“POOR PHIL”
V1:
poor phil
for he got carried away
s-s-s-sinking in the river
V2:
unskilled in aquatic forays
he’d already drowned as they pretended to pray…
as the ambulance came…
wading in the water…
(kept the ambulance waiting…)
V3:
poor phil…
though waves will whisk him away
now he’ll have no more to say
for he’s definitely dunking today
(link up finale of ‘quicksand’)
“JOHN THE BATSHIT”
V1:
who castrated cuomo?
not a ‘cubano’…
asleep with ‘estella’…
his elder hermano…
not a problemo…
V2:
a reasonable schizo
an uncertain psycho
an angry castrato cradles his bible
(and curses his rival…)
V3:
another cubano…
ricardo jambrino…
a lit cigarillo…
he shares with amigo…
the bambino…
the bambino…
“WACKY KANACKI”
V1:
too wacky to be witty…
a pity he’s so petty…
so skinny…so silent…
so secretly violent…
so silent and deadly…
V2:
a pity i’m so pretty and ‘witty’…
i’m proud to be pithy
and now that you’re with me
BRIDGE 1:
let us go up in smoke together
as we hope for impossible weather
BRIDGE 2:
has your trust fund all gone up your nose?
have you sold off all your fancy clothes?
am i butting in on someone’s joke?
have your savings all gone up in smoke?
does the pot you piss in overflow?
or am i totally loko?
OUTRO:
poor phil…
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