"big bang"*origin stories*

“J”
*THE OCEAN*

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“O”
*TRADE*

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“G”
*GRASS*

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“A”
*APPLE*

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“Z IS FOR ZERO”

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“a beginning”

the origin of the universe is a matter of mere intuition. 

when people talk “god”, they reveal themselves to have swallowed the same plate of shit that we all were fed as children. 

the universe is governed by a series of easily observable laws. 

call them “god” if you will, but don’t be so presumptuous as to assert that some sort of “super”-“human” created these governing principles of matter. 

call them forces if you will, but let’s stop all this talk of god. 

whenever you hear the word “god”, know that the person who is speaking it is trying to assert power over you in one way or another.

and yet you who were raised with the roman catholics have always done nothing but stand in the way of the understanding of god

(however “unwarranted” you may believe this (statement/accusation) to be)

(i found it quite ironic myself)

there is no inherent “irony” at all for you “roman catholics” are not a godly people. 

you are a cowardly people who oversimplify and hate those who you do not understand. 

your celibate priests are pedophiles and faggots. 

and we were forced into “altar service”.

“big bang”…

cosmological model of the universe.

the physicists have reached another consensus…

doesn’t mean it’s necessarily accurate…

the scientify community has come to consensi on a whole lotta matters over the course of its existence…

remember when humans believed that the sun revolved around the earth?

nicolaus copernicus
(1473 – 1543)

(less than 500 years ago…)

“mathematical singularity”

(a point at which a given mathematical object is not defined)
(as in “infinite”)

“technological singularity”

(a hypothetical moment in time when artificial intelligence progresses to the point of greater-than-human intelligence)

or maybe we just like big bangs…

universe has expanded from a primordial hot and dense initial condition at some finite time in the past…

(at the moment scientists believe it happened 13.3 to 13.9 billion years ago…)
(round it to 13.7 billion years ago…)

and continues to expand to this day…

the first beat
(“primordial blast”)

(the further a planet is from its heat source, the more suffering one must endure…)

the balloon strings are tied together at the bottom of the strings

(when released into space, the 4 balloons gravitate and begin orbiting around the connection point)

(and 4 distinct planets with varying measures of each essential element)

a utopian universe…

(forming stars + planets)

(a planet that sustains life must contain the proper balance of red / white / blue)

(like the american flag)

“KING OF THE CATS”
(BOOK 1)

(*cue “roller coasters”*)

(macca traces DNA/RNA sequence of a cadaver to analyze the evolutionary path of all organisms)

(from the single-celled aquatic organism to the most advanced homo sapien)

(*depict DNA/RNA strands as roller coaster tracks emanating from center of the single cell towards the outermost reaches of the human brain*)

(with various routes reaching alternate conclusions)

(the story of “mitochondrial eve” + “y-chromosomal adam”)

(cut to final roller coaster car populated by cavemen)

(evolving into 21st century human beings as the ride progresses)

(the roller coaster is powered by sexual arousal)

(inspired by the appearance of a goddess (“miss markham”) in front of them)

(though always at an unreachable distance)

(*cue “magic marker”* instrumental)

as the other riders are confused by their erections, the alpha male instinctively pursues the goddess

(though he is unable to reach)

imbued with apollonian energy, he erects monuments to the goddess

(using solely his erect phallus and ejaculatory prowess)

(written in ‘2009’)
(latest version recorded in ‘2013’)
(@ “clearview studios”)
(princeton NJ)

“a beginning”
(cue ‘george martin’ orchestral piece)
(aborted ‘white album’ intro)
(scrapped in favor of the jet engines of ‘back in the USSR’)

(the ‘origin of the universe’ is a matter of mere intuition)
(same goes for the personal concept of “god”)
(which is influenced by a host of factors)

(one factor being ‘beliefs’ of parents / caregivers)
(or at least a child’s ‘interpretation’ of those beliefs)

(or at least those beliefs that the parents choose to represent to the child)

(which may or may not be the parents’ ‘true’ beliefs)
(but they may not want to pass on this doubt to the child)
(not wanting to ‘spoil the fun’ of ‘life’)
(akin to continuing the myth of ‘santa claus’)

(or they may want to impart a belief in a ‘spiritual reward system’ in order to promote ‘obedient’ behavior)

(the ‘universe’ is governed by observable laws)

(call them “god” if you will, but don’t be so presumptuous as to assert that some sort of “super”-“human” created these governing principles of matter)

call them forces if you will, but let’s stop all this talk of god.  whenever you hear the word “god”, know that the person who is speaking it is trying to assert power over you in one way or another.

and yet you who were raised with the roman catholics have always done nothing but stand in the way of the understanding of god, however “ironic” you may believe this statement to be.  there is no inherent “irony” at all for you “roman catholics” are not a godly people.  you are a cowardly people who oversimplify and hate those who you do not understand.  your celibate priests are pedophiles and faggots.  and we were forced into “altar service”.

“big bang”…

cosmological model of the universe.

the physicists have reached another consensus…

doesn’t mean it’s necessarily accurate…

the scientify community has come to consensi on a whole lotta matters over the course of its existence…

remember when humans believed that the sun revolved around the earth?

nicolaus copernicus
(1473 – 1543)

(less than 500 years ago…)

“mathematical singularity”

(a point at which a given mathematical object is not defined)
(as in “infinite”)

“technological singularity”

(a hypothetical moment in time when artificial intelligence progresses to the point of greater-than-human intelligence)

or maybe we just like big bangs…

universe has expanded from a primordial hot and dense initial condition at some finite time in the past…

(at the moment scientists believe it happened 13.3 to 13.9 billion years ago…)
(round it to 13.7 billion years ago…)

and continues to expand to this day…

the first beat
(“primordial blast”)

(the further a planet is from its heat source, the more suffering one must endure…)

the balloon strings are tied together at the bottom of the strings

(when released into space, the 4 balloons gravitate and begin orbiting around the connection point)

(and 4 distinct planets with varying measures of each essential element)

a utopian universe…

(forming stars + planets)

(a planet that sustains life must contain the proper balance of red / white / blue)

(like the american flag)

“KING OF THE CATS”
(BOOK 1)

(*cue “roller coasters”*)

(macca traces DNA/RNA sequence of a cadaver to analyze the evolutionary path of all organisms)

(from the single-celled aquatic organism to the most advanced homo sapien)

(*depict DNA/RNA strands as roller coaster tracks emanating from center of the single cell towards the outermost reaches of the human brain*)

(with various routes reaching alternate conclusions)

(the story of “mitochondrial eve” + “y-chromosomal adam”)

(cut to final roller coaster car populated by cavemen)

(evolving into 21st century human beings as the ride progresses)

(the roller coaster is powered by sexual arousal)

(inspired by the appearance of a goddess (“miss markham”) in front of them)

(though always at an unreachable distance)

(*cue “magic marker”* instrumental)

as the other riders are confused by their erections, the alpha male instinctively pursues the goddess

(though he is unable to reach)

imbued with apollonian energy, he erects monuments to the goddess

(using solely his erect phallus and ejaculatory prowess)

“SONGS OF SEXUAL CONFUSION”:

(any song written or sung by rivers cuomo)
(“mister softy!”)
(british small penis humiliation videos)

“ERECTILE MISFUNCTION”
(aka “performance anxiety”)

(begins with footage of various battles in world war II)

(cut to a japanese outdoor festival)

(a young japanese girl releases 4 balloons (with strings tied together in a knot at the bottom) into the sky seconds before a nuclear blast decimates her home city of hiroshima)

(*cue “hiroshima”)

(w/ footage from the blast*)

the US military initiated the ‘manhattan project’ in 1939…the government feared that nazi germany would develop an atomic weapon first…

on 6 august 1945, the united states military atomically bombed the japanese city of hiroshima.

on 15 august 1945, the japanese government surrendered to the united states…

“we won the war!”

(juxtapose footage of sperm meeting egg with detonation of atom bomb…)

narrator:

(“for they blew off my balls in the former world war…but they’ve grown back far larger than ever before…”)

NAGASAKI!

(cue beach boys’ “sumahama”)

(cue *lift-off!* riff into guitar solo)

as the balloons float through the blue sky (with white clouds), they align to form the “good morning!” logo

(as camera orbits them from all angles)

as intro credits roll, they are spelled out by glowing lettered balloons floating through space

(*accompanied by a truncated narrative of the speculated origin of the universe*)

(the 4 balloons cross a threshold from black –> white (egg) and simultaneously “pop”)

(releasing their gaseous elements into the void of the egg)

(cue *big bang*)

(the white balloon strings descend in the black realm and coalesce into constellations)

(the egg explodes and releases the colored elements which form orbitals around the stars)

(cue *back in orbit*)

(zoom in to depiction of the solar system)

(beginning in the center of the sun)

(outward orbital movement from “mercury” –> “venus” –> “earth”)

(*cue “planetary progress”*)

(accompanied by an abbreviated history of “planet earth”)

(cue *big rock*)

(performed by a psychedelic heavy metal band)

(“world war II”)

JAPAN

germany appeals to japan…

(cue “chai mayoto”)

(sung by nazi ambassador to japan)

japan invades pearl harbor…

(cue “okinawa”)

meanwhile the american invasion is symbolized by a godzilla-sized christine fisher marching through the atlantic ocean

(sinking and then rising as she crosses continents as if in a ‘video game’)

(cue “ride of the valkyries” as she haphazardly grabs at axis soldiers and shoves them into her mouth…)

(1945:)

(the united states drops an atom bomb on the japanese city of hiroshima)

(cue “hiroshima”)

(the japanese surrender)

(world war II is over)

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👈👈👈 ☜ *“BIG BANG” (THE SONG)*

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*“WE WON THE WAR” (CHAPTER 1)* ☞ 👉👉👉

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💕💝💖💓🖤💙🖤💙🖤💙🖤❤️💚💛🧡❣️💞💔💘❣️🧡💛💚❤️🖤💜🖤💙🖤💙🖤💗💖💝💘

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*🌈✨ *TABLE OF CONTENTS* ✨🌷*

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🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥*we won the war* 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

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