“i do the jeselnik…”
(cue anthony jeselnik and gary shandling doing herky-jerky dances together despite themselves…)
you ain’t a tumblr
i ain’t a twister
i’m just a pauper…
you got a sneaker
i got a shoe
(put two and two together…)
call me a creeper…
i’ll keep creepin on you…
(guitar solo)
(you got it comin…)
(you gotta shake…)
pick up that tumbler
and start to shake
shake away that jealous snake…
you be the jumper…
i’ll never snitch…
become a number…
and smash away that itch…
i’m chase chase chase chasing that snake…
i want you on my menu
i’ve got nothing to lose
“i want YOU on my menu”
“i’ll see YOU on the news”
(black man samuel jackson points eyes to hot blonde hostess)
(she’s wide-eyed in fear)
cue don rickles morphing into an old black man…
(in an effort to ingratiate himself with the other blacks…)
(“why i’ll RIP HIM UP WITH A ROPE!!!”….AND LEAD HIM RIGHT TO THE ROAST!!!)
(cue fat elvis: “i’ll tear his goddamn tongue out WITH A ROACH!”)
fade-out:
au natural(ay)
au natural(ay)
(to tune of “pink cadillac”)
it was a long way…
you could pay him to walk backwards…
start chasing ‘way that jealous snake today…
im not a pumper im just her pimp
i thought id stump her
think i’lll pump and dump her now
she’ll be my blimp
i’lll pump and dump her