“soccer”
(the socialist’s sport of choice)
.
“SOCCER IS SYMMETRICAL”
(reflecting international desire for ‘egalitarian utopia’)
(one of the most ‘accessible sports’)
(behind ‘running)
(the more accessible the sport, the more prevalent the poor man champion)
(he who possesses the greatest drive to succeed in this ‘imaginary realm’)
(although not quite ‘imaginary’)
(as it provides a means of gaining tangible power)
(as champions win over ‘hearts and minds’)
(like dumb philadelphians building statues to imaginary ‘rockys’ in lieu of joe frazier)
.
*LESSON* –>
“don’t be a ballhog”
(when playing middle school gym soccer i was an excellent ball handler)
(lepelstat the aspiring jewish referee said i was the best ball handler he’d ever seen)
(a proto-rolland)
(but then i started playing on a sixth grade team in the spring)
(coached by big eddie lauerman)
(we played at phillips field)
(watchung + warren)
(i was the leading scorer)
(nailed a few hat tricks)
(cody mang accused me of being a ‘ball hog’)
(i remember gabriella zini’s team practiced after us)
(i had a huge crush on her then and always hoped i’d run into her)
(but the practices never quite lined up)
(‘soccer’ is one of those sports i bet it’s really easy to go pro at)
(you just have to find yourself at the right pub with the right fat eurocat coach and have him pat you on the back a few times)
david beckham seems like a fucking phony to me.
at the same time, its very own populist nature lends itself to considerable fan violence. remember all those years ago when that colombian goalie was murdered by his own people for blowing a game? or even this month, when the Togo national football team withdrew from the 2010 Africa Cup of Nations after an attack on their team bus killed three people and injured several others.
(first grade)
third place trophy in ‘skills’ contest
(judges)
third grade
mister mall team
(played defense)
(johnny mall)
(was that socrates?)
(w / doug stollen)
(‘be aggressive’)
(parents latched onto this exhortation at first practice)
(cory bell as goalkeeper)
(fourth grade)
brother on soccer team
(he scored a goal before me)
(brother played travel soccer)
lauerman as head coach
(fifth grade)
(ball hog)
lockhart as head coach
(sixth grade)
(fantasies of gabby zini @ philips field)
games in berkeley heights
(drowned out)
i coulda been a great soccer player.
i chose football instead.
sometimes i regret the choice, but i known had i chosen soccer i’d have missed out on the utter intensity of friday nights under the lights.
i was a 3-year varsity starter after all.
during my sophomore year, the head coach promoted me to the line right up in front of the kickoff returner. which meant (especially with high school kicker) that i was quite likely to have the ball come my way. and two kickoffs did. i dropped both of them. the first was during an away loss to hunterdon central. i allowed danny lizzi (the same little italian muscular fuck who beat me in a wrestle-off that winter to run it instead).
(the second was a ‘home game’)
(i ended up picking the ball off the ground and rushing for several yards before being thoroughly pummeled)
.
(“capture the carrier” indeed!)
.
.
*👨🔬🕵️♀️🙇♀️*SKETCHES*🙇♂️👩🔬🕵️♂️*
.
.
.
.
💕💝💖💓🖤💙🖤💙🖤💙🖤❤️💚💛🧡❣️💞💔💘❣️🧡💛💚❤️🖤💜🖤💙🖤💙🖤💗💖💝💘
.
.
*🌈✨ *TABLE OF CONTENTS* ✨🌷*
.
.
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥*we won the war* 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥