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*i discovered his column via ‘askmen.com’*
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*SYNOPSIS*
(each potential ‘mate’ has some sort of ‘system’ he/she (tries his/her best to) ‘follow’)
(they’ll never admit it to their partners)
(if said partner ever found out, then their reaction is a good general gauge of the potential of the relationship)
when women accuse men of playing games, they reveal the hypocrisy of their sex.
men are more noble in their efforts to improve their mating strategies.
women are just asserting their fundamental power when they manipulate their suitors.
men want to have successful relationships.
but a woman grows restless in a stable relationship.
we are defined by our approach to the mating game.
stay away from women who nag. it’s all part of the perpetual battle of the sexes.
Even with perfect mating strategies, you hit inevitable slumps.
Meet more women through the slumps.
Be proud to be a player,
don’t let society shame you into not having as much as sex as you possibly can with the only time you have left.
Once a man is enlightened to the female’s sexual psychology, he becomes a misogynist.
But he should really fault his prior self for failing to recognize the female incentives from the outset of his entry into the mating game.
never ask female friends for dating advice.
A female friend always wants to sleep with you if you don’t want to sleep with her.
if you want to sleep with her, she doesn’t want to sleep with you. everything else is equilibrium. that’s just the way it works.
other self-proclaimed love experts will tell the masses that women want a sensitive and caring man.
that a man’s looks and net worth aren’t so important.
this is akin to a poker star giving out false advice in his book to create a national league of suckers.
These “love experts” are geared toward women, because men are afraid to admit that they need help in getting girls.
Don’t listen to them when they say that men are supposed to express all their feelings to a girl.
There are also techniques out there that teach you how to hypnotize girls into liking you, but this is a very hard art to master and not worth the time.
ONLY A WOMAN’S ACTIONS TRULY REFLECT HER FEELINGS TOWARDS YOU, HER LANGUAGE “WOMANESE” IS NOT TRUE, challenge her false statements with “show me”
ONLY A MAN’S ACTIONS INFLUENCE A WOMAN’S INTEREST LEVEL, NOT OTHER PROBLEMS IN HER OWN LIFE (such as too much work, stress, family problems)
Three C’s: CONFIDENCE, CONTROL (self-control, not controlling the woman), CHALLENGE (play hard to get and make the woman do the chasing and think it is her idea to instigate a romantic relationship), NEVER show your true interest level to a woman.
Make sure you have a lower interest level than your girl has in you.
If you can’t control your mouth, forget women and join a monastery. Let her say “I love you” to you more than you say it to her. Be the “strong silent” type.
A “bad-boy” image will make you appear super-confident and cool to a girl. Some girls like abusive outlaws because they present a “challenge” and allow her to walk on the wild side. Join a rock band and you will get girls. Girls like rebels who are not socially acceptable because many of them do it to spite their fathers. Other girls like dangerous men because they make them feel secure because they know that they will crush anyone who hassles her. These guys all have a detached “don’t give a crap” attitude.
You are suffering from The Nice Guy Syndrome if:
• Your bill at the florist last year was more than your monthly house payment.
• Women often tell you that, “You are such a good listener.”
• When you arrive to pick up your date at her place, her cat isn’t even threatened by you.
• You didn’t go to a concert that you had tickets for because your female friend needed your help moving her furniture out of her abusive boyfriend’s apartment. (You do things for women that you’d really rather not do, but you pretend that you do not mind so that they will like you more.)
• You are more comfortable hanging out with women than men and you have few male friends.
• Your biggest thrill in the last few months came after you spent an entire Saturday fixing your foxy neighbor’s broken toilet and she said, “You are so sweet!”
• You avoid conflict with your girlfriend at all costs.
• Saying “No” to your girlfriend never enters your mind.
• It is difficult for you to put your own needs first. You think that if you do, you are being selfish.
• You consider yourself more sensitive and evolved than other men.
• The last time you got past second base was three Fourth of Julys ago at the neighborhood softball game.
• You pride yourself on not being like the other men who “only have one thing on their minds.” (You happen to have the same thing on your mind, but you hide it from women — and yourself.)
• You always ask for a woman’s permission before you try to kiss her on the cheek.
• Your emotional well-being is dependent on your girlfriend’s happiness. You are happy only when she is happy.
A girl must be physically attracted to you in order for you to have a romantic relationship with her. If she is not, then there is NOTHING that you can do to start a relationship. If she is physically attracted to you then she will be uneasy, vulnerable, and partially out of control when you approach her. Tall men have the biggest advantage here, because women prefer “tall, dark, and handsome” men. But don’t be discouraged even if the woman is taller than you, and go for it. Baldness isn’t actually that bad, because you can always shave your head, and besides baldness is a masculine trait. If a girl is extremely physically attracted to you, you can usually afford to come on strong at the beginning, but this will hurt you in the long run.
You must dress sharp (dress appropriate for the occasion, whether casually or dressy. Always wear nice shiny shoes, even if you are at the gym) and have a woman notice that other women are giving you loads of attention, also must be a gentleman because women love class and manners, you want to come across as a stud by NOT BEING PREDICTABLE, still be romantic but don’t do it the same way that every other guy goes about it, use a different approach. Don’t come on heavy, instead kid and tease her and see if she blushes. Don’t be serious. NEVER tell her that you like her unless she is truly obsessed with you. Keep your apartment clean (especially your bathroom) and well decorated. Keep your car clean. A great personality and high self-esteem can make you look more attractive to a girl. Have perfect personal hygiene and keep your fingernails clean and trim. Make sure you always smell good. Ask a buddy about how your breath smells.
The PERFECT 10 WOMAN: Find these girls in urban centers of high finance, fashion, politics, and the entertainment industry. To get one of these women, you need to be either rich and powerful, extremely handsome, or any of celebrity good or bad. It is hard to find perfect 10’s who are available. The hotter a girl is, the less giving and flexible she is and the more spoiled she is. However, there are some beautiful girls who are genuine out there. Remember that no girl is “out of your league” and go for it.
REMEMBER: treat every woman the same, even ones that you are not attracted to. The confident man is consistent. Don’t panic if an ugly girl shows interest, and don’t get intimidated if a hot girl shows interest. You are naturally a challenge to girls that you have no interest in, so they will be attracted to you. Be pleasant without coming on strong. It is good practice to do this to ALL girls so that you can learn to spot buying signals. You can also learn from ugly admirers. Ask them (jokingly), “When I’m a challenge with you, do you like me more or less?” or “If I asked you to marry me, would you stay thin and never nag?” This will verify to you that the “System” works, which will give you more confidence. Also, if a girl sees you with a lot of girls (no matter what they look like), this raises their interest level. Also, even if you are not initially attracted to a girl, over time her attitude may make you be attracted to her. She could also introduce you to some hot friends. Don’t think you are misleading girls that you aren’t attracted to, because it is actually good practice. But DON’T ask girls their home phone numbers unless you really like them, and don’t make any empty promises. Be comfortable with female admiration.
However, if a girl has high interest in you and you aren’t attracted to her, it’s better to not become friends with her because then she will resent you for not returning her feelings in the long run. If you both have low interest in each other, make sure that she wants you to be her friend before becoming her friend. Make sure that she doesn’t take advantage of your friendship by refraining from helping her move her furniture or waxing her car, and always make sure that she pays her own way. DON’T EVER become friends with a girl just to spare her feelings. Remember that girls quickly get the message that you aren’t interested in them if you never call them.
REMEMBER: you can never assume that you can get a girl to like you romantically over time by being friends with her. The first time you met this girl, she already determined whether or not she would ever date you, and if you did not initiate it then, there is no chance in getting her in the future. You will just set yourself up to meet this girl’s new boyfriend if you become her friend. You will become her “surrogate boyfriend” and once she finds a real boyfriend, she will not return your calls and constantly keep you in the dark. These girls will toss you out of your lives when they no longer need you. Ways to spot this condition: they never ask you what you want to do, only call to change your plans or ask for a favor. Don’t rely on friends to “set you up” with girls.
If you have to ask yourself “Is there a chance of a romantic relationship?”, then there probably isn’t. If she rejects you once, and tries to be friends with you, don’t let her. If she seems upset, that is only because her self-esteem is hurt.
If you have a genuine friendship with a female, and all of a sudden you start to become attracted to her, then become a Challenge because this may raise her interest level, or at the very least it will make you not admit to her that you like her and jeopardize your friendship. If she gets upset that you are going after other girls, she will finally crack and say “I’m tired of you chasing other women in front of me”. To which you respond, “Are you suggesting that we take the chance of ruining a beautiful friendship by you asking me out on a date?” Then she will say, “Sort of”. But be careful about going this route, because many times female friends will just pretend to be interested in you when you start acting like a challenge because you all of a sudden aren’t coddling to their every need. Remember that girls can do all sorts of things with you without having particular high interest in you. You could just catch them at a time when they are bored and lonely, so they will flirt and make out with you. The next day, they could be as cold as ice. When you confront them about this, they will either play dumb, act ambivalent, or say that they were worried about another thing. These girls are inconsistent, and you want a girl who is consistent.
Don’t ever call up a woman that you don’t know to try to start a relationship. This is mysterious, but too creepy and it will invade a woman’s comfort level. She will be frightened. Even if the girl encourages you on the phone, this means that she is probably mentally unstable herself. You can be arrested when you do this. If you cannot approach a woman directly, then you need some serious counseling and self-esteem seminars. Also, don’t send her flowers or love poems before asking her out (unless you’re a rock star).
Do not listen to your friends’ assertions or opinions about a girl that you want to go for. They may try to make up some ugly facts about her past to prevent you from going after her.
A good place to meet women is the gym. Join an upscale athletic club that has a lot of women in their 20s and 30s. When you are there, don’t stare at the girls and don’t go out of your way to talk to a lot of them. Just smile and say “hi” to the girls that say hi to you. Casually ask a girl about her workout, and she should make it easy for you to continue the conversation from there. Aerobics classes are good (especially advanced ones), just make sure you work in the center left or center right of the room.
Another good place to meet women is at private parties where most of the guests know the host. Ask the host to introduce you to anyone that you want to meet but don’t feel comfortable approaching by yourself.
Other good places: volunteer activities, acting class, yoga classes, dance classes, cooking classes, wine tasting club, psychic awareness classes, astrology classes, in all of these classes women usually outnumber men, any class that has to do with New Age consciousness, relationships, or personal development, an adult education class such as “How to Organize Your Purse”, Toastmasters, church or temple, weddings. Any New Age class is good because it is noncompetitive. But there also are a lot of weirdos at these events. So that you don’t look like a scammer by going to these events, plant yourself in one place instead of wandering around. Sit next to a book on “How To Find Your Soul Mate”, and if a girl that you like walks by, say to her, “So do you believe in soul mates?” If you are at one of these events, participate and ask questions or make clever comments. Try to say something deep and meaningful. Same goes for a college classroom. When you’ve built up women’s curiosities with your comments in class, talk and laugh with other women in the class so that a girl you like sees how much the other girls like you. This girl will eventually approach you, then you ask for the home phone #, wait a week to call. Don’t be embarrassed if you see her during this waiting week, just relax.
Beware of any party or dance that is designed for “singles”, because there are usually a lot of ugly girls here. Also, girls have their defenses up here because most of the guys that go are losers. If you do go, make sure you have a couple lined up for one night in case you get bored at one. It is possible to get a hot girl at these events. A good singles event are singles cruises (although in this case, you can forget the “wait a week before you call” rule).
If you go to a nightclub to find a girl, make sure you go with a friend that is upbeat and animated. Girls then will see you having a good time with him. If any girl looks at you at smiles more than once, walk up to her and playfully strike up a conversation. Don’t start conversations with girls who haven’t smiled at you. Remember that many nightclubs and bars are ultra-competitive and not user-friendly for guys. It’s always helpful to have a hot female friend introduce you to other hot girls as “a very good friend”. Don’t be afraid of asking for girl’s numbers when you are with your female friend, because if she was truly your friend she’d be happy to see you find a girl (if she gets angry then she is either not really your friend or she actually has romantic feelings for you). If a girl suspects that your female friend is actually your girlfriend, just tell her that she’s your sister and flash a sneaky grin.
If you are serious about Internet dating, make sure you get a professional photo session. If a girl doesn’t respond to your e-mail, NEVER write “why didn’t you write back”. Your first e-mail should not be long and should not mention sex. It should say, “Hi Kate, I enjoyed reading your profile and liked your picture. Check out mine and write me back if you think there’s potential.” Exchange no more than four e-mails before setting up a date. Don’t spend more than 30 minutes with her on the first coffee date. Send out a lot of short e-mails to women you find on the Net because dating on the Internet is a numbers game.
Another option is doing a speed dating event. In this context, you only have 3-5 minutes to talk to a girl, so make sure to distinguish yourself by making a point of not asking the standard questions like “So what do you do?”. Instead, do something that Jim Carrey might do. At the end of the event, you get e-mailed all the women who were interested in you. If a girl that you liked there did not pick you, don’t try to go for her.
If you are uncomfortable approaching women, then use a confidence building routine by talking to as many girls who only have average looks and slowly increasing the quality of girls that you talk to. You need to build a base. Talk to as many as women as possible for practice. Talk to mothers with their kids, talk to grandmothers in the supermarket, ask them what the difference between a sweet potato and a yam is, joke around with the girl at the bank. Then when you see a girl that you like, you won’t be as nervous about approaching her.
OVERALL TECHNIQUE FOR ANYWHERE:
See a girl that grabs your attention (remember that you are only attracted to her looks, don’t make any assumptions about her personality based on her looks): make eye contact, smile, go up and say “Hi”
OR “is there a beauty contest here today?”
OR “I would really appreciate you helping me meet someone” and then she says “sure” and you say “please introduce yourself to me”
OR If you are at a wedding: “Hi, nice wedding!” and she says “yes it is”
OR “Hi, my intuition tells me that you are a Psychology major. Am I right?”
A good ice breaker is to take something in the immediate environment and tie it into a funny conversation starter.
Ask the girls name, say “Nice to meet you, ______”, wait for her to ask you what your name is, if she doesn’t ask you then end the conversation because she is obviously not interested in you
Positive signals: eyes beam and get bigger as she talks, taps your arm, bump on shoulder, asks semi-personal questions about what is important to you and what makes you tick, enthusiastic, stands close to you, gazes into your eyes, compliments (the biggest buying signal), smiles, hugs, you catch her looking at you (don’t make it obvious that you caught her looking, just act oblivious to it AND don’t be caught staring at her), if you give something to her and she saves it and she doesn’t mind that you find out she saved it, nervousness. Remember that a kiss on the cheek is very ambiguous.
In some cases, if a girl cuts the conversation short then it could be a good sign. For example, if she cuts the conversation short in church, that means that she considers her conversations with you flirting and therefore she thinks that it is inappropriate in church. Therefore she has class AND high interest in you.
Remember that just because she acts excited, this doesn’t automatically mean she has high interest level in you. She could be on drugs or just faking her high interest level. And remember that there are some girls who are just “touchers” and touch everyone. There are other girls who will touch you just to lead you on. And there are also “flirters” who will flirt with anyone. There are also girls that will feel very comfortable with you and confide in you, but this DOES NOT necessarily mean that she is romantically interested.
Negative signals: crossed arms, yawns, bored expressions, uncomfortable, not having a good time, saying that “I’m not interested in any guy”
If the girl is an actress, then tell her that you produce movies
Talk for 10-15 minutes max (ask her to dance, get her champagne, but DO NOT spill your guts), then…..
Ask for the girl’s home phone number and cut out of the conversation first (“Whats your home phone number?” or “I would be honored to have your home phone number”), if she gives the # without hesitation then her interest level is high, if she doesn’t give it to you then her interest level is low, the quicker she gives it to you the higher her interest level is, if she likes you then she will make it easy for you to contact her. After you ask, be silent and watch her reaction. Look deep in her eyes and stare her down. If she gives you an excuse that she does not give out her home phone # for “security reasons”, then she is not interested. It doesn’t matter if there is a huge crowd around; still go and ask her for the home phone #. If she asks “Why?” when you ask her for the #, say “Because I want to show you all the fun that you’ve been missing out on”. If she says, “I can’t date because I have a boyfriend”, then say, “What if I send him on an all expense paid vacation to Miami Beach for two weeks? Will you go out with me then?” OR “You know you dominate him and you’re bored, so why are you still with him?”. If she says, “But like we could hang out, I don’t have a lot of friends”, then say “As soon as you get rid of your boyfriend, I’ll be happy to be your friend” OR “Why is it that people don’t want to get close to you?” But remember not to be rude when you get rejected and maybe ask if she has some hot single friends.
HOME PHONE NUMBER! Her cell phone is not acceptable because it can get disconnected when driving on the highway. Her work phone is not acceptable because you can be interrupted by an angry boss. Never be embarrassed about asking for the girl’s home phone number, except maybe at a funeral. Even if the girl is married, she will still usually take it as a compliment. Always ask because you may never see her again. Even she tries to shame you for asking, don’t be ashamed. When she gives you the number, verify with her that it is her home phone number. If it isn’t, then ask again for her home phone number.
If she volunteers her home phone #, then ask her “what’s the best time to call you?” and then call her at a completely different time.
Then move on to some more women, make sure that this first girl sees you talking to other girls, but NEVER let her see you taking down another girl’s number
If you are at a dance, dance with every other hot girl there until the girl asks YOU to dance
Wait a week before you call this girl, do not use the telephone with her too much, DON’T leave begging phone messages on her answering machines. If she doesn’t call back, you can give her 1 more call to make a date before you throw her number away. If a girl gets mad that you didn’t call her soon enough, then give her a zinger right back: “I’m sorry I messed up your schedule, your highness”. Just start out by saying “Hi Amanda, its Joe” and see if she remembers you. Talk for 5 minutes max. DON’T say “hi, im joe, remember we met at blah blah blah”. Having numerous telephone conversations with a girl without meeting face to face is NOT dating. Even if a girl calls you a lot without ever seeing you, that does not mean that she has high interest in you (just your voice). These are called TELEPHONE TIME WASTERS who keep guys at a safe distance by only talking to them on the phone. If she was interested in you, she would have dropped hints that she wanted to go out that week. Don’t talk with a girl just to chat unless you’ve been going out with her for two months. (Also beware of the INTERNET TIME WASTER).
There are certain exceptions when you can call the next day, only if she gives you very HEAVY buying signals and she calls and leaves a message the next day. In this case, it’s OK to call her back the next day because she went out of her way and risked rejection.
When getting girl’s phone numbers, there are 6 types of girls you will encounter….
Girls who will give you their phone # just to be nice and are really not interested
Girls who will give you their phone # in order to give you false hope and toy with you
Professional Daters
Girls who don’t give you their phone # and give you lame excuses for why they won’t give it (“I don’t give out my # to guys I don’t know)
Girls who won’t give you their phone # and tell you up front that they are not interested in you
Girls who will give you their phone # and are actually interested in you
If a girl says that she won’t give you her phone # and asks for yours, just say “Do guys still fall for that line?” OR “I don’t feel comfortable giving out my phone # either” and then smile and say “Nice talking to you”. Also, if a girl says “call me on Thursday morning”, don’t follow her rules and call her according to her schedule. You’ll just look like an obedient puppy.
If you are looking for girls in the personals, be careful of girls that just lead you on with e-mails, phone messages, and IMs. To avoid this, arrange a meeting with the girl ASAP. If she drags her feet, then she is just a teaser.
Don’t talk with the girl about going out before you actually do it. Dropping hints of going out before you ask her directly makes you appear weak. Don’t give her your business card or say that “we should go out sometime” because this makes you look afraid. Be direct about asking her out and act as though her opinion doesn’t affect you.
A girl with high interest level will always answer her phone when you call her and she will be straightforward. A girl with low interest level may claim that her phone sometimes doesn’t work or she will never answer her phone. Also, if a girl says that she “still has some feelings for her ex-boyfriend and is confused”, then she doesn’t have interest in you because if she did, then she would have forgotten about him. If she really liked you, then she wouldn’t mention her ex because she would be scared of turning you off. Girls will mention that they have a boyfriend to tell you to back off most of the time. Sometimes, they mention it just to show how popular they are. Many women like to find another man before they get rid of their current boyfriend. Never mention that you have a girlfriend if you are pursuing a girl.
At this point, the girl will be wondering why you waited so long to call her. Even if she knows that you are using “The System”, she will still respect you for demonstrating that you understand women. Make her think that you are busy during the week and have other dates. Even if she suspects that you are just playing it cool and tries to play along herself, this is OK. Most girls will not view this phone delay as manipulation; she will simply view it as a courtship process. If the girl views this as “manipulation”, then she is demonstrating that she is inflexible and therefore you do not want to go out with her anyway (the same goes for weird religious women who believe in “prophecies” about their lives). You only want flexible, confident, and functional women, unless you are a dominant celebrity in which case the rules don’t apply to you. You don’t want an inflexible woman making outlandish demands. Most likely, the woman will think “Wait a minute, why isn’t he coming on strong like all the other guys?”
If you are already close enough with her to go to her house (family friend, etc), start going only when you know she is not there and go half as much as you previously did. Don’t ever hang out with a girl you’re interested in before getting her home phone number.
If her response to you asking her out seems dumbfounded (such as batting her eyelashes and asking “Why me?”), then she has low interest level in you. If she has to “think it over”, then she has low interest level. That doesn’t mean that you should cancel the date, just see what happens. Always use the word “date” when asking her out to make clear your intentions. If she asks you out on a date first, you should decline because you don’t want to look like you are too eager and available (this diminishes the mystery factor in her eyes).
NEVER make the first date for a Friday or Saturday night, preferably make it on a weeknight or Sunday. And always make it a 1-on-1 date. Never take “maybe” for an answer and don’t allow her to “get back to you”. Only start taking a girl out on Friday and Saturday night when you’ve been going out with her for two months.
If the girl breaks the date for any reason, then she is not interested. If she says that she is too sick to go out, she should suggest another date to go out (which should be a dinner date, NOT a lunch date). If she does not, then she is not interested. If a relative says that she “isn’t home” multiple times, this means that she wants nothing to do with you. A girl with high interest level will never cancel a date, she will just change the time and place if a genuine emergency comes up. If she ever cancels a date on you, ask like it doesn’t bother you. If she asks you “What’s wrong? Are you in a bad mood?”, just respond, “I was, until a minute ago” or “No, actually I feel relieved”. If she gives you a bullshit excuse like “My dog is sick” and tries to reschedule, then say, “Sandy, we don’t know how quickly little Roscoe is going to recover, and he is going to need your full attention and care for awhile. So let’s wait and see how he does before we reschedule.” If you do reschedule, then cancel on HER at the last minute with a bullshit excuse. Then don’t suggest any alternative date, just ambigiously say, “we’ll talk later on”. Then wait for her to call you back, if she doesn’t, then her interest level is not high. But if she gave you really heavy buying signals in the beginning, then you can give her the benefit of the doubt.
GOOD places for a first date: dinner at a restaurant (preferably with a dance floor), clubs
BAD places for a first date: movie, art gallery
Go to the weekend section of the newspaper for good ideas for first dates, or Barnes and Nobles and get books on fun, free places to go in your area (you can also get good relationship books here – but remember that 90% of these books are written by women and the other 10% are written by fags)
Only take a girl to a concert after you’ve had three dates with her.
Always pick up the girl from her house on the first date because it’s a gentlemanly thing to do, there is time to talk in the car, and girls with low interest or uptight girls will not let you pick them up at her house. Don’t drive too fast when she is in the car. If for some reason you do have to meet somewhere, always walk her back to her car WITHOUT asking her if it’s alright. If she still refuses, then she has no interest.
DO NOT buy the girl any special gifts for the first date, this will just make you look like a lonely little boy, DO NOT telegraph your high interest in her. In fact, restrain on the gift giving until later in the relationship, because all you will attract are golddiggers. Most importantly, DON’T act like a nervous wreck on the first date. The first date is like a job interview to get to the second date. Don’t give the girl too many compliments. 1 compliment per date is enough. And if the girl is really hot, don’t compliment her on her looks; compliment her on something else. The only girls who like compliments and love poems are girls with low self-esteem. Don’t treat a girl like a queen because then you will only attract girls who like to dominate guys. You don’t have to spend a lot of money on the first few dates (if the girl really likes you, she will enjoy the date no matter how expensive it is).
If on the first date, the girl is very reserved THIS IS A GOOD THING, it means she is trying to hide how interested she is in you, but DON’T MAKE ANY REMARKS about her tense behavior during the date, play it cool.
Instead of letting her ask you questions, YOU ask her questions and test to see if her attitude has integrity, flexibility, and generosity. Get her to talk about herself, her likes and where she went to school. AVOID heavy and negative subjects. DON’T talk about sex, nudity, private bodily functions, race, religion, or politics. Even if she hints or jokes about sex, just playfully steer the conversation in another direction. Never tell her that you are feeling nervous. Don’t check out other women and don’t talk about your ex-girlfriends.
Things NOT to say when you are on the date:
“Have you ever had a one night stand?”
“So what type of guy do you usually go out with?”
“Where’s the strangest place you’ve ever made love?”
“Have you ever considered working as a stripper?”
“I can see that you sure do take good care of your body”
“Have you ever run naked on the beach?”
“So how many different guys have you been with?”
“My, oh my, you do have a fine booty”
“You’re a teacher? Hmm…I guess every college freshman’s fantasy is to have sex with his beautiful teacher”
“So did you hear the one about the frog who couldn’t stop farting?”
DO NOT flirt with the waitress during the date. The key is to make her feel comfortable. This means that you don’t want an environment that’s too hot, too cold, or unsafe in any way.
If her eyes light up when talking about something, ask her more questions about it. Be a listener. This will get the woman happy. If she asks you something about yourself, give a brief, but fun and light, answer. Tell the truth, but only the good parts of it. Then go back to asking her questions and make her do most of the talking. You’ll have to time to tell her about yourself further on down the road. If she keeps drilling you with questions, then ask her similar questions back. OR you can deflect prying questions with humor: (ex. Have you ever been married? A: Yes, I have. In fact, I’m married now. I have six wives, but I can use one more. Would you like to be number seven? If we leave right now we could be in Vegas in about six hours.” REMEMBER: keep the date fun and light, and leave some mystery for the next date. Have the girl look at you with admiration and respect, not pity. And DON’T stare at her breasts during the date. Don’t brag or beg, and NEVER ask her how she thinks “the date is going”.
Here are some good questions to ask when conversation is running dry:
1. What do you think is the biggest mistake that men tend to make in relationships? (This will tell you a lot about what turns her off and also about her attitude toward men in general.)
2. Do you think that men tend to be too macho or too sensitive?
3. What are the qualities of your ideal relationship?
4. Have you ever gone out with a guy who was a HYPERLINK “http://www.askmen.com/dating/doclove_150/160_relationship_expert.html” Challenge? (Have her describe how he was a Challenge and how she responded to it.)
5. What’s the most important thing that men don’t understand about women that they should?
Here are some good questions to ask when your date is being confrontational:
6. Have you ever had your heart broken? (The more beautiful she is, the more likely the answer will be no. It’s actually better if the answer is yes. A girl whose heart has been broken has some humility.)
7. What scares you the most about opening your heart to a man?
8. Were you usually the dumper or the dumpee in your past relationships?
9. Do you feel that you’ve ever had a truly successful relationship?
10. Why did your last relationship fail? (Note: Does she take any responsibility or was it all her ex-boyfriend’s fault?)
Positive signs on first date: touches your arm, asks you questions, laughs at all your jokes, bright eyes, references to future activities together, compliments NOTE: you don’t initiate any touches, let her do the touching.
Negative signs on first date: yawning, looking at clock on the wall, offering to pay her “share” is a VERY bad sign, but if she offers to just help with the bill, then that’s not so bad (although you should decline).
If a woman disrespects you on the first date (brings one of her friends along and ignores you, flirts with other guys), then leave immediately and tell her “Thanks for the fun date” sarcastically. Or you can start talking to one of her girl friends, dominating the conversation and ignoring her. Or you can try and get other girl’s phone #s in front of your date.
NOTE: if you are very unsure about a woman’s interest level in you (if you suspect it to be too low), then schedule a “test date” as the first date. This way you can see whether or not she is into you without spending a lot of money. Call the girl up and ask her to go out for a quick drink after work. Important: find out where she works and find a nice restaurant and bar nearby. This way, if she rejects your offer, then you know that she has NO interest in you because she can’t spare 45 minutes of her time to have a drink with you.
If the girl is good on the short date, then you take her out on a long date. Increase your spending slowly as you have more dates. Still, look for inexpensive and fun places (free concerts in the park, miniature golfing). If you suggest these kinds of places and girl reacts negatively, then you know that she is a golddigger.
If a girl invites you into her home to sit on her couch with her, this is a good sign. If you find a new guy in your seat every time you go the bathroom during the date, this is a bad sign. If she gives vague assertions, such as “I’ll try to call you later”, then she is not interest. Women with high interest level make specific commitments to call you. Never say to a girl, “I like you, do you like me?” or “Do you want to be my girlfriend?”. This is extremely weak.
DO NOT schedule another date during the first date. Instead, wait another week to call again, thus building up her interest level. But always go for a lip-to-lip kiss after the first date. If she responds affectionately, then she is a keeper. If she gives you the cheek, then you can forget about it. If she asks, “What are you doing?” just say “I’m trying to bring a little sunshine into your life.” When you are going for the kiss, make sure you are in a comfortable environment with privacy, and make sure you don’t have any obnoxious roommates or creepy insects around. You also don’t want any loud pets around or any loud noises. You don’t want your house to be dirty or dusty. And before you go for the kiss, make sure the conversation is positive (don’t talk about how much you hate your boss or the last scary movie you saw). Don’t say anything before you go in for the kiss; just smile and go for it. Don’t ask permission for the kiss (unless she is seriously obsessed with you). Most times, the first kiss will not go perfectly smoothly, but this is OK. If she likes you, she will just be happy that you went for it.
There are some women who just like to play with men’s minds…
WATCH OUT FOR PROFESSIONAL DATERS, After a couple dates with a girl you can tell whether or not she is one, professional daters will make you spend money on them and not give you any play in return, they’ll only give you a kiss on the forehead and lead you on, do not waste time with professional daters. They are experts at faking high interest. These girls will tell you that they want to be “friends first”. Don’t fall for it. Women who claim to have been “hurt in the past” are lying because in reality it is the women who usually dump the men. If you realize that you have just been on a date with one, resist the urge to tell her off and just leave calm and cool and forget about her. Tell your buddies about what a bitch she is.
WATCH OUT FOR GOLDDIGGERS – aka the contestants on “Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire?”. Also, don’t be a golddigger yourself.
WATCH OUT FOR QUEEN STROKERS – they may go out with you, but only when it suits her purposes or need for love. She’ll call you from time to time when she needs something. If you tell a girl that you like her, then it is her responsibility to tell you her feelings toward you. If she views you as a friend, she should just express this. The Queen Stroker will not do this; she will be ambiguous about her feelings for you. These types of girls often have boyfriends but they still hint that they may leave them. To counteract this type of woman, only use her by talking and dancing with her in order to attract other women to you. Don’t have any other contact with her.
WATCH OUT FOR DRIFTERS – girls who just go from man to man, showing loyalty to none. Deal with these girls by not giving in to them, and denying them their demands. In the long run, it won’t work out with these girls because they respect no rules and honor no commitments (unless you drug her with tranquilizers).
WATCH OUT FOR DATING CO-WORKERS – You can make yourself vulnerable to sexual harassment lawsuits. They can accuse you of “unwelcome advances” if you hit on them. If you are going to pursue a co-worker, then don’t tell your boss anything about it. If he also was attracted to her, then he could get jealous and block a promotion or raise for you, have you transferred, or even fire you. Actually, don’t tell anyone about it if you go after a co-worker. Let her initiate a meeting outside the office. If she does and then later tries to sue you, save the piece of paper where she wrote her home phone # for evidence in court. If you are interviewing people for a job, and you are attracted to a girl who you think is giving you buying signals, remember that she is only doing this in order to get the job and don’t go for her.
WATCH OUT FOR MISSIONARY GIRLS – These girls will pretend that they are interested in you in order to convert you to their cause or faith. Deal with this by asking for the home phone # to figure out her true interest level. But beware, beautiful missionary girls are so experienced that they are able to fake high interest levels. If she keeps asking you to go to her church, decline the first couple offers and then show up unannounced one day.
WATCH OUT FOR PSYCHOS AND LIARS
WATCH OUT FOR GIRLS WHO SEEM TO BE WITH A NEW GUY EVERY TIME YOU SEE HER, BUT SHOWS NO INTEREST IN ANY
WATCH OUT FOR MAN-HATERS, girls who have been screwed over by guys in the past so they take their resentment out on you. If this man-hatred is intense, then drop her immediately. If it is mild, then just show her that you aren’t like her loser ex’s. Some of these girls can claim that they’ve sworn off marriage. If they say this, tell them that you have also. But keep practicing the System and soon she will be staring at engagement rings in the mall (if she doesn’t, then you know that she swore off marriage). Watch these girls like a hawk, notice how she handles pressure and stress and your first argument. Also, girls that have been in long-term relationships with abusive men are not worth your time, unless she’s been through some serious therapy. Girls from an abusive home are normally attracted to abusive men.
WATCH OUT FOR PARTY GIRLS – These girls have a reputation for distorting the truth and for cheating with other guys. They are good for a hook-up but never for a long-term relationship.
WATCH OUT FOR GIRLS WHO FOLLOW THE RULES – This refers to girls who follow The Rules, a girl’s guide to relationships published in 1995. This book tells women not to return men’s phone calls, not to make eye contact with them, treat every man the same, and never to talk to men first. This shows that a girl is insecure, calculating, and likes to make men squirm. This is not a girl that you want to be with.
WATCH OUT FOR GIRLS WHO SCREEN THEIR PHONE CALLS – If you left more than one phone message and she never seems to answer her phone, then she is screening your calls and you should forget about her. If the girl comes and apologizes profusely, then you could give her another shot. By the way, you shouldn’t leave a phone message for a girl until you’ve been seeing her for 2 months.
LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS ALMOST NEVER WORK. She can just be acting over the phone and during visits. If you are always the one visiting her, then you are in trouble. If a girl moves away from your city while you are in a relationship, this means that her interest level is not very high (unless she asks you to marry her and come with her). There are some legitimate why she would move away, such as getting a full scholarship to an Ivy League college or getting a huge job offer, but if this was the case then she’d invite you along. The longer she is away, the more her interest level will drop and the more likely she’ll go for another guy. If she moves away, don’t send her presents all the time. If she calls you, wait a day before you call her back and keep it short. If she e-mails you, wait two days before you answer her. When she calls, only talk about the good things in your life, sending her the message that you can live without her. In the meantime, get new phone numbers. Throw them away if your girl ever moves back.
If you run into one of the girl’s friends, and she tells you that “Kristin said hi”, don’t get too excited because this usually means nothing.
Don’t get a girl loaded up on alcohol, because then you don’t know her true interest level in you.
Don’t ever get loaded on alcohol before a date, especially if you are going out with a church girl. There are a lot of little reasons why a girl could lose interest: bad table manners, stiffing the waiter, wearing dirty shoes, having a small house (for golddiggers, this is a turnoff), burping, scratching. Women will look for faults in a man. Don’t get drunk to appear more confident because the woman will just think that you are an alcoholic (unless you play in a rock band, in which case it will be a turn-on). Remember that the shorter you have been going out with a girl, the less likely she is to forgive you for offenses. If you know that you made a big mistake with her, then forget about her for good unless she calls you.
If you know that a girl’s ex made certain mistakes, do whatever it takes to avoid displaying these same tendencies. Don’t complain to your girl about feminine tendencies, because then she would think that you were a creep.
If after a couple of dates, the girl goes on dates with other guys and tells you about them, then MOST of the time this is a bad sign. She is basically telling you that her interest level in you is not very high. However, in certain cases, this could mean that her interest level is high and she is just testing you to see what you are made of. In other cases, she could think that you are her are in a serious relationship after only a couple dates, and therefore she feels guilty about having a date with another guy and feels the need to confess to you. Keep in mind that after a couple dates, no one should be expected to stop seeing other people. If she has nothing positive to say about these other dates, then just don’t bring them up and keep pursuing the girl with the System. If a girl turns down a date with another guy, however, this does not necessarily mean that her interest level in you is high. Do not copy another guy’s date idea with your girl. Its makes you look jealous.
If a girl says that she is “sort of seeing someone”, counteract this when she asks about your love life by telling her that women stalk you after a few dates. When she asks you why, say, “I don’t know, it’s like a blessing and a curse” and give her a wink. If a girl has a boyfriend but shows interest in you, then still go for it. Take her to inexpensive places like coffee joints and have some nice makeout sessions in your car without spending much money on her. Only see her every two to three weeks and don’t take her anywhere special. Always let her call you. When you talk to her, don’t mention her boyfriend and don’t pressure her in any way or make her feel like you want anything from her. Just let her doing all the initiating. But NEVER let her take you along when she and her boyfriend go out, she is probably only doing this so that others don’t think she is going out with this guy.
If a girl talks about her ex-boyfriends all the time, then stop her in her tracks using humor. Example: your girlfriend talks about how good of a singer her ex-boyfriend is. Just say, “Really, that’s interesting. My ex-girlfriend used to be a backup singer for Sting until she couldn’t deal with his ego any longer. You should hear her voice, she makes Christina Aguilera sound like Phyllis Diller. I think she is such a great singer because she has great lung capacity.” Then wink at her and walk out of the room. Let her wonder whether you are joking or not. Use this about five times, and if she still doesn’t get that you don’t approve, then explain that her behavior bothers you. If she still doesn’t get it, then next time she mentions an ex, say that you have an appointment and leave (even if its late at night). Then don’t call her for a week and don’t answer her calls. If that doesn’t work, she’s through.
If a girl doesn’t dress nice for you when you go out on dates, but you know that she has a lot of nice outfits, then be direct and ask her why she doesn’t wear these outfits on dates.
Once the girl has you meet her parents, then you are doing good. Have a clear head when you meet them, or her parents will hate you.
The third date is the critical juncture that determines whether or not the relationship will continue.
After 4 dates with a girl, she should reveal some important things about herself to you. For example, if she has a child, she should tell you at this point. But it is OK if a girl waits a couple dates before telling you she has a kid because that shows she is a good mother and she wants to make sure she likes you. Be careful of women who have kids and say “I don’t want anyone telling me how to raise my kid”. That is a dig directed at you. Also, don’t get involved with women who always bring their kids along on dates.
Never ask a girl to “settle down” or to “commit”. The girl should be asking you this, not you asking her. This makes you look like a weakling begging a girl to stay with you (unless you are super-rich).
Don’t ever spoil a girl. Its OK to buy her some gifts, but if you keep buying her gifts with nothing in return then you look like a wimp trying to bribe her.
If a girl telling you that you are “playing games with her”, this is a good sign. When she says that she “doesn’t want to play games”, she is being a hypocrite. Don’t buy into it when a girl says that “you can be honest with me”. She should not pressure you to “be open with me” or to commit.
After 8 dates, the girl will be cooking for you, laughing at all your jokes, standing close to you at all times, and always brushing up against you and touching you, sees you as husband material
Signs that she is a keeper:
She gives you small gifts.
She calls you and asks you out.
She makes a big deal about your birthday.
She cooks your favorite meal at least once a month.
She builds up your ego.
She’s supportive.
She’s consistently loving and affectionate.
When you’re sick, she is your dedicated nurse.
She often turns into a playful little girl when she’s around you.
She respects your opinion.
She asks you for advice.
She’s consistent and dependable.
She keeps her word.
She’s never late.
She’s fiercely loyal.
She backs you up when the chips are down.
She doesn’t put you down in public or HYPERLINK “http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith/38_dating_advice.html” nag.
She doesn’t HYPERLINK “http://www.askmen.com/dating/datingadvice/50_dating_tips.html” compare you to other guys.
She makes you feel like a better man than you know you are.
Her knees buckle when she kisses you.
She thinks it’s great that you go out with your buddies once a week.
She doesn’t try to control you as much as other women do.
When football is on she knows not to talk and ask dumb questions.
Every girl in town thinks you’re ugly as sin, but she thinks you look like Brad Pitt.
She thinks that your beer belly is made of muscle.
When you say, “Honey, tomorrow morning you and I are going to rob the local bank at nine o’clock.” She says, “I’ll be ready.”
Soon, she will start to reveal innermost feelings and thoughts about life, the good and bad, talks about her exes and her most private issues, her interest level is high, she is more intimate, plays less games with you, she feels safe and trusts you
Once you gain a girl’s trust, she will reveal her true self and not play all the petty games from before, DON’T EVER make fun of what she says or betray this trust (for example, leaving around incriminating photos of yourself),
Once her trust goes down, her love goes down. If she catches you in bed with another girl, her interest level will immediately plummet. Never be honest with her about ever cheating on her. If she finds out and gets upset, then withdraw for a while and let her call you. Then walk on eggshells for the next few weeks with her and agree with everything she says.
Keep this trust by relying on your gut instincts and looking out for any inconsistencies between her behavior and her words, if there are none then you have total control of this girl, she will stick with you no matter what. If your intuition tells you that her interest level is dropping, then it probably is. If she stops complimenting you or laughing at your jokes, this is trouble. If she doesn’t care if you go out with the guys, this is trouble. Then she will not initiate touching like she did in the beginning. Instead of grabbing your arm when you cross the street, she will go first and tell your slow ass to hurry up. Then the arguments and insults begin, and gradually increase in intensity and frequency. Soon, she may stay with you, but her interest level is too low. She will soon get rid of your ass by initiating a huge argument and then dumping you by accusing you of getting angry over something “trivial”. If you think that her interest level is at the point of no return, DUMP HER FIRST. But don’t “officially” dump her, just cut off contact with her without explanation. Because a girl will never tell you that her interest level is slipping.
If a girl does something disrespectful like getting a tattoo when she knows that you don’t want her to, then she has low interest and she views you as an authority figure to rebel against. You are probably not compatible with her. Usually these types of girls are golddiggers in disguise, who want to rebel by hanging with tattooed outlaws but still want you to drive them around in nice cars.
In order to stop this drop in interest level, start seeing her less and let her see you talking to other hot girls. When she confronts you, say “You know you are the only one for me” and smile.
DO NOT lie to your friends about your relationship with the girl, actually don’t even reveal anything to your friends about this relationship or it will come back to haunt you
At this point, DO NOT be undependable, DO NOT take her love for granted, DO NOT exaggerate with rude behavior, DO NOT argue with her about commitment issues or she will question your commitment
If another guy tries to hit on your girl, DO NOT go after him, practice self-control. Don’t be jealous, possessive, or uptight (even though some bitches seem to be attracted to these types of guys). If you are suspicious of your girl and her guy “friends”, then stay calm and start going out with other women. When she confronts you, tell her that they are just “friends”. Then, if your girl has high interest level, she will propose new rules for both of you and “friends” of the opposite sex. This way, she will tell her guy “friend” to back off without you saying anything. Just make sure that these new rules are reasonable and bilateral.
NEVER let another guy accompany your girl to a formal event if you cannot make it, unless it is a pre-approved mutual friend. If a girl says that she found another guy to take her, then call her bluff and say that now you are able to attend it. If she is still reluctant to reject the other guy, then you relationship is over. Just tell her to “have a nice time” and never return her phone calls (instead of letting the relationship end slowly).
Don’t keep in contact with any of your ex-girlfriends. If one of your ex’s keeps calling you and your current girl is jealous, then the next time your ex calls, walk out of the room that your girlfriend is in but keep within her earshot and say “Missy, don’t call me again”. You can still keep in contact with your ex-girlfriend’s family if you are on good terms with them. And don’t allow her to keep in contact with any of her ex-boyfriends. If you are pursuing another girl at the same time and happen to run into her, just say to your girlfriend, “This is Kristin”. If your girlfriend becomes concerned about you spending time with one of your female friends, she may be onto something because females have good intuition when it comes to these things. Ask yourself, “Would I date this female friend if I didn’t have a girlfriend?” and “Does this female friend have a crush on me?” Don’t lie about how you know her, just don’t say anything.
Every girl will show a jealous side from time to time. If a girl is mad at another girl for flirting with you, just respond with, “She’s not a bitch, she just has good taste” OR “Aw, does my little baby think I’m gonna leave her for someone else?” Then wink at her and give her a quick kiss.
DO NOT make your woman think that you are a “taker” in the relationship, don’t act like a pouter or a mama’s boy, be considerate, fighting will ALWAYS cause a woman’s interest level to drop
If a girl wants you to go to something that is important her, just go and try to have a good time, don’t pout or else she will deem you insensitive, especially go to class reunions with a happy face because this is the time that she wants to show off her man, if you go to something even though she knows you don’t want to go then she will view you as a “giver” in the relationship and then later on she will do something for you that she doesn’t want to do
When you are in a relationship, you must develop a personality. Join Toastmasters and Dale Carnegie. Buy a dance video. Be confident but flexible.
Don’t try to kill two birds with one stone by inviting your girl along on a business trip. If it’s her birthday, give her 100% of your attention. Buy her gifts to score points with her. Or go shopping with her.
In 60 days, this girl will be totally attached to you. But don’t tell her that you love her until 60 days of dating, or else her interest level will drop. If you do say it and she doesn’t say it back, then when she finally does say “I love you”, respond by saying “You talking to me?” humorously. In general, don’t always say “I love you” when she says it to you. Say it only occasionally. If she complains about it, say, “All right, sweetheart, I’m going to make a big deposit in your love bank right now that should last for months and months.” Then say, “I love you, I love you, I love you….” about 30 times. Or you can say, “Honey, aren’t you going out with me because I’m the strong, silent type? You wouldn’t want me to change now just to get your approval, would you?”
Remember that girls will always try to test you during the course of the relationship. This is natural, and you must prove that you will be a strong force that sets limits. Pass the test by refusing to be tested.
Make sure that this girl is not “high maintenance”, in other words she will rub your back and take out the trash once in a while. Make sure that she will stick with you through tough times. If you are working long hours to support you both financially, then she should be helping by typing and stuffing envelopes and bringing you lemonade. Don’t be blinded by a girl’s beauty if her attitude is bad. Observe how she treats hired help, and watch out for girls who constantly name-drop and brag about professional accomplishments while failing to show curiosity in you. Also, watch out for questions that attempt to determine how much money you make (ex. “so whats the most expensive gift you’ve ever given a woman?”)
Her attitude must include: integrity (honesty, loyalty, trust, in other words you would go into business with this person or would you give this person the combination to your safe), giving nature (is on your side, sweet, serene, supportive, will say to her girlfriends “I like to do things to make my husband happy”) and flexibility (NOT hardheaded, structured, stubborn, intransigent, nagging, IS willing to try something new like going fishing). Old-fashioned farm girls are good because they are taught to work hard and carry their own weight. You don’t want a girl who tries to compete with you. She should be a self reliant and self-controlled person without any unhealthy habits like drugs, tobacco, or food. Think about the kids before you get involved with an overweight woman.
Your girl should sometimes offer to pay for things, or at least say thank you whenever you do something nice for her. If she doesn’t thank you, then call her on it and say “Didn’t you forget something?” “To thank me for the nice dinner I took you on last week”. See if she is a “giver” by asking her to massage your shoulders and seeing her reaction. If you suspect her of being a golddigger, then suspend all the nice dinners, trips, etc. and see her reaction. Don’t excuse her “taker” nature as being “traditional”.
If your woman is normal, then the degree of her liking you depends on the way you treat her, although you cannot change her attitude in life. Agree to do things that are important to her even though you may not want to do them. If she doesn’t call as often as you’d like her to, be thankful for this (most women call TOO much in a long-term relationship).
Observe the past behavior of women and do not be blinded by your attraction to them, if a woman leaves her husband for you then she probably will not be faithful during your marriage. If a girl gave you “buying signals” while she had a boyfriend, then she will also flirt with other guys when you two go out. If she stayed with a guy that you know that she had low interest in, then you know that she is a Professional Dater. Don’t get involved in a “rebound relationship”. Don’t get involved too soon with one of your friend’s ex-girlfriends, even if he gives you his blessing. Every time he sees you two together, he will feel uncomfortable, so your friendship would suffer. Also, if you started going out with her too soon after the breakup, he would think that you were eyeing her all along. Be loyal to your friends over bitches.
Get your own life in order before you get married. If you find that you often lose interest in women you are dating, then you need to examine your own life. Perhaps you have an attachment to your mother, or your heart was broken previously, or you were abandoned as a child. Marry women over 22, because young women between 18 and 22 are not usually emotionally ready to settle down.
Remember that marriage is always tough no matter what. Divorce will cost you big time and then your psychotherapist will tell you that “you should have given more”. Bullshit. When you are looking to marry, make sure the girl has HIGH INTEREST LEVEL in you, watch out for a girl who seems to think that she will “fall in love eventually” with you if she marries you, once the kids are born she will no longer fake her love, she will not give her husband sex, using the excuse “Is that all you ever think about?” “We just had sex four months ago” “Have you been watching those movies again?” “Don’t touch me”. Sometimes your wife will make the excuse that her medication makes her lose interest in sex, or that she just lost interest in sex. This way, you look like the bad guy if you try to initiate sex. Then she could accuse YOU of causing the problems that require her to take medication. If you have a wife like this, then no amount of counseling can save your marriage. Never let her go on vacation by herself.
Get rid of your woman if she eats too much, nags you too much, or watches too much daytime talk shows, or resents you, only love a woman who loves you first
Once a girl leaves you, it is over, NEVER TAKE HER BACK, separation always leads to divorce, most of the time it is the woman who will leave the man or the man will leave because he has been driven crazy by the woman. Also, once a girl’s interest level drops to a certain point, you can never get it back up again no matter how much time passes. No apologizing to try to raise her interest level, it won’t work. And don’t grovel and say that you can “grow and change”. If you are still in love with her, then just write down all the things that you don’t like about her and keep reminding yourself of them.
If your woman cheats on you, it is because her interest level in you has dropped very low. Therefore, she will not feel guilty about cheating. A woman with high interest level will NEVER cheat on you, if this happens you must drop her immediately and find some new women. Don’t buy into her request to “work things out” with you.
Bullshit reasons why a woman stays with a man that she “doesn’t like”:
“I’m confused.”
“I have to sort things out.”
“Please be patient with me.”
WOMANESE:
“I’m looking for an ambitious man” = “I’m looking for a rich man”
“I really like you for your mind” = “I would never date you”
“We are friends” = “I have no romantic interest in you”
“He’s one of my really good friends” = “He’s one of my stooges”
“I’m shy” = “I have no romantic interest in you” or “I am wounded and mistrustful”
“Call me back in a half hour” = “Call me back once I leave the house”
“Thank you for your understanding” = “Thank you for not going berserk like the last guys I tricked”
“I broke it off recently with my last boyfriend and I’m emotionally fragile” = “This boyfriend is still lurking in the background”
“I’m not looking for anyone” = “I’m not looking for anyone that fits your description”
“I don’t know what to say” = “My interest level in you is so low, its scary”
“I’ve changed so much” = “I’m fucking someone else”
“I need my space” = “I want to get the hell away from you”
“We are getting too close” = “I have very low interest in you”
“I need time to think about the relationship” = “I need to think of the easiest way to dump you”
“We had an amicable divorce” = “I took all of his cash”
“We had an on-again, off-again relationship” = “I fooled around with him until someone better came along”
“We had a bumpy marriage” = “I nagged him to death”
“Our values changed” = “I dumped him because I couldn’t change him”
“We are in a transitional stage” = “I’m gonna leave him by next month”
“Where is this going?” = “Are we going to get married?”. (If she says to you “am I wasting my time here?”, this is a good sign. Just say, “Baby, if you’re with me there’s no way you could be wasting your time”. She will say, “Listen, I want to know how you feel”. Response: “Darling, you’ve already hugged me, you know how I feel”.)
Any reference to weddings or marriages = She wants to be with you for the long haul
“It didn’t work out” = “He turned me off, lowered my interest level, and I dropped him like a bad habit”
“I love you” = “Now you better say ‘I love you’”
“Please leave for a while so I can decide whether or not I love you” = “Get the fuck out for good”
“We need to talk” = BAD NEWS
“I’m pregnant” = BAD NEWS for a single guy
Your wife is a keeper if she is always willing to give you sex, she should not ignore you in favor of the kids, if she would rather spend time with her girlfriends than you then this is a problem, good wives don’t get headaches or refuse your kiss
If you suspect your wife’s interest level is dropping, then you should start to take her out on dates again. Surprise her with tickets to a concert or another event you know she likes. Or surprise her with tickets to Big Band night at a really nice hotel. Make the date far in advance to test her. Check her calendar four to five weeks before the date and have a babysitter lined up. If she does make an excuse, then your relationship is dead. To jumpstart it, start backing off from her physically and psychologically. Then she will want to start going out with you again. Don’t beg or argue with her for affection. Let her bring up sex and don’t touch her unless she touches you first. BUT have a happy attitude all the while. She should come on to you then, or you have a big problem. Watch out for signs: if she stares at other men, or if she puts you down in public, in front of friends, or in front of your children. Divorce may be your only alternative, if your religion allows it. Its not good for your children when their parents have a cold relationship. If you choose to stay with her, stay positive especially in front of your kids. Communicate your feelings and try to help around the house more.
If she puts her arms around you and kisses you for no reason, compliments you on your looks, sits close to you at a restaurant or home couch, or gives you massages, then she still has a very high interest level. No matter what her physical condition is, she can still show affection.
To counteract nagging, avoid all arguments because you will never win anyway. If she starts nagging, just smile and nod and then walk away. This way, she knows that she cannot intimidate you. If your woman orders you around, use humor to make her stop: if she tells you to do something, say “Yes sir master drill sergeant sir!”, get in her face and snap to attention and salute her. Do the task, and then say “Task completed master drill sergeant, sir, Private Gatti awaiting further orders.” Then if she gives you another order, say “Yes master, this little puppy dog can fetch better and faster than any other doggie on the block. If I’m really quick, will I get a doggie biscuit for a reward?” Fall to your knees, pant, and grovel and give her a big grin.
As a husband, you must continue to be respectful, affectionate, and romantic. Always open the car door open for her and pull out her chair at the restaurant. Surprise her with a flower or card, or take her on a surprise walk in the moonlight. But also be a challenge, and set limits for your wife, saying “no” when appropriate. Don’t tell her about all your personal fears and insecurities.
You’ll be dumped if you are clinically insane, abusive, alcoholic, drug addict, bad, irresponsible, no integrity, bad job, too nice, too available, too vulnerable, too sweet, too predictable or malleable, easily controlled. To prevent this, don’t share too much of your personal insecurities with your girlfriend. Say “no” when appropriate, and make her think that you can live without her.
your wife is not your mother.
never let ex-wife rake you over the coals in post-divorce fallout. keep custody of children, keep your $$$ + real estate, deny all phony charges of drug addiction + domestic abuse, and kick her to the curb.
never talk about your ex-wife with current date, talk about her with a therapist, priest, or rabbi.
competing with male divorcees, they failed in marriage first time round. best not to bring up this failures to new women (vent to therapist / priest / rabbi)
in the post-college world, not only are you competing with men your own age but you also have the midlife divorcees to compete against. what we young bucks should be doing is screwing their first wives, marrying them, and stealing away with half their fortunes.
although women are much too smart and have much too weak libidos
divorcees are FAILURES. this should turn off women.
(they’re off babbling to their therapists, their priests, their rabbis)
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(meanwhile ‘rabbis’ are having their ways with ‘young rebeccas’ and a ‘kosher roast beef sandwich’)
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💕💝💖💓🖤💙🖤💙🖤💙🖤❤️💚💛🧡❣️💞💔💘❣️🧡💛💚❤️🖤💜🖤💙🖤💙🖤💗💖💝💘
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*🌈✨ *TABLE OF CONTENTS* ✨🌷*
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🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥*we won the war* 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥