-as of [27 DECEMBER 2023]–
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*aka ‘our worst nightmares’*
(as opposed to ‘our wildest dreams’)
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assignment* –>
“compare + contrast”
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“BODILY INJURY”
“DEATH”
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“PRISON”
(after a week in ‘somerset county jail’)
(‘january 2012’)
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“NIGHTMARE JOURNALS” –>
(a man was preparing to do an “experimental circumcision” on a ‘newborn me’…)
(how utterly ‘freudian’!)
(“come dream with me…”)
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he wasn’t sure whether he was cutting through the foreskin or a baby penis…i woke up as i prepared for an immense amount of pain…
i was an anonymous observer at a typical american prison…the guards were mocking a middle-aged man for the dangers he faced while being “white in jail”…
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*DEATH* —>
a group of my former family, friends, and i were returning from a “trip” to the magic kingdom…
we boarded an airplane supposedly commandeered by an “expert” pilot…a dark-haired man in his late 30s…daniel savas and i elected to ride the back “wings” (which meant that we sat on a skilift-type contraption to the back right of the plane)…i believe that allegra kenwell and christina sa elected to sit on the opposite wing…as the plane soared into the sky, i feared falling down…savas told me i’d forgotten to buckle our shared seatbelt…then he commanded me to tighten the seatbelt…we pulled the skilift bar over us and then i connected a second seatbelt in the center of our platform…a young man who looked like a younger (and stupider) version of john ames was standing on a platform to our left…he suddenly fell off the plane and ostensibly fell to his death…i panicked and walked back into the main section of the plane…savas and allegra kenwell didn’t seem disturbed by this accident and stayed on the exposed wings…i went to the middle of the plane and curled up into a ball…the pilot seemed mildly disturbed by the accident…i felt like a weakling for being the biggest scaredycat of all…the old man attempted to comfort me…i chatted with my mother near the front of the plane…suddenly an emergency door opened to our left and a young woman fell to her death…i saw her body hit the green grass below us and she exploded into chunks of vomit upon impact…i wasn’t sure whether she intentionally jumped off the plane or she was somehow “sucked out”…then my mother went to the open emergency door and jokingly held onto the upper bar…i wanted to yank her back in but was afraid that any quick move on my part would send her plummeting to her death…maria kenwell attempted to loosen my mother’s grip on the bar…it worked…i was shell-shocked but not quite in tears…i felt like paul mccartney when he lost his mother at age 14…”what are we going to do for money?”…it seems he matured way faster than i did…or paul malchow at age 9…the old man attempted to comfort me and we shared a hug…i imagined derrick shallcross driving a golf ball on hole 1 of warrenbrook golf course…he shanked it to the left and i instinctively ducked…then there was good news from the front of the plane…my mother hadn’t died after all…she was merely playing a practical joke (although in reality i’ve never seen nor heard her play a practical joke in my life)…someone brought me a bag of mcdonalds…french fries / chicken nuggets / burger…i sat next to an attractive brunette and began flirting with her (she looked somewhat like yamel thompson)…then i caught up with my mother…we sat on the right side of the plane and the only wall behind us seemed like it was made of canvas…afraid that she’d lean back and fall out again, i tried to force her into the middle of the plane…
a dead cat lay outside my motel room…
(in reality there HAD BEEN a dead cat a bit further away from the ‘motel room’ and it had been disposed of by the ‘motel staff’ that day)
INJURY
DEATH
MURDER
PRISON
a man was preparing to do an “experimental circumcision” on a newborn me…he wasn’t sure whether he was cutting through the foreskin or a baby penis…i woke up as i prepared for an immense amount of pain…
i was an anonymous observer at a typical american prison…the guards were mocking a middle-aged man for the dangers he faced while being “white in jail”…
DEATH:
a group of my former family, friends, and i were returning from a “trip” to the magic kingdom…we boarded an airplane supposedly commandeered by an “expert” pilot…a dark-haired man in his late 30s…daniel savas and i elected to ride the back “wings” (which meant that we sat on a skilift-type contraption to the back right of the plane)…i believe that allegra kenwell and christina sa elected to sit on the opposite wing…as the plane soared into the sky, i feared falling down…savas told me i’d forgotten to buckle our shared seatbelt…then he commanded me to tighten the seatbelt…we pulled the skilift bar over us and then i connected a second seatbelt in the center of our platform…a young man who looked like a younger (and stupider) version of john ames was standing on a platform to our left…he suddenly fell off the plane and ostensibly fell to his death…i panicked and walked back into the main section of the plane…savas and allegra kenwell didn’t seem disturbed by this accident and stayed on the exposed wings…i went to the middle of the plane and curled up into a ball…the pilot seemed mildly disturbed by the accident…i felt like a weakling for being the biggest scaredycat of all…the old man attempted to comfort me…i chatted with my mother near the front of the plane…suddenly an emergency door opened to our left and a young woman fell to her death…i saw her body hit the green grass below us and she exploded into chunks of vomit upon impact…i wasn’t sure whether she intentionally jumped off the plane or she was somehow “sucked out”…then my mother went to the open emergency door and jokingly held onto the upper bar…i wanted to yank her back in but was afraid that any quick move on my part would send her plummeting to her death…maria kenwell attempted to loosen my mother’s grip on the bar…it worked…i was shell-shocked but not quite in tears…i felt like paul mccartney when he lost his mother at age 14…”what are we going to do for money?”…it seems he matured way faster than i did…or paul malchow at age 9…the old man attempted to comfort me and we shared a hug…i imagined derrick shallcross driving a golf ball on hole 1 of warrenbrook golf course…he shanked it to the left and i instinctively ducked…then there was good news from the front of the plane…my mother hadn’t died after all…she was merely playing a practical joke (although in reality i’ve never seen nor heard her play a practical joke in my life)…someone brought me a bag of mcdonalds…french fries / chicken nuggets / burger…i sat next to an attractive brunette and began flirting with her (she looked somewhat like yamel thompson)…then i caught up with my mother…we sat on the right side of the plane and the only wall behind us seemed like it was made of canvas…afraid that she’d lean back and fall out again, i tried to force her into the middle of the plane…
a dead cat lay outside my motel room…
(in reality there had been a dead cat a bit further away from the motel room and it had been disposed of by the motel staff that day)
MURDER:
i had been hired to cover up the murders of female japanese porn stars by elderly porn star shigeo tokuda…he would apply a chloroform-soaked cloth over the victim’s mouth until they expired…in other cases, he would stab them with a sword during sexual intercourse…this all took place in my princeton bedroom…i became increasingly paranoid that i would be framed for the crimes…shigeo was off at weichert realtors (his day job)…
one evening i was attending a “birthday party” for romina garber at an asian restaurant…i sat down at one end of the table next to a generic young man…i started chatting with the “watchung boys”…adam rifaat said that he hated the show “doctor who” (because i had been listening to ‘opie and anthony’ and they had mocked the show)…i went from one end of the table to the other in an attempt to secure some food and drink…i had ordered saki (or sakuri?)…a bald middle-aged asian man at the table seemed eager to find out my opinion of the food as i took several scoops of potatoes (in tomato sauce?) and ramen noodles (which were actually curled noodles)…i sat across from romina garber and a generic indian chick…i suddenly realized that garber’s body was “obsolete”…i grabbed her by the eyeballs and sneakily stuffed her corpse in a black trash bag next to my chair…this way i wouldn’t have to deal with her (although i knew that she was still there “in spirit”)…i then tried transferring her body into a fresh white trash bag without anyone else at the table noticing (including the waiters)…but it was her birthday and the indian girl began getting worried when garber didn’t show up for some ceremonial birthday routine…she thought that she had gone to the bathroom…i wondered whether i should explain myself (as i felt perfectly justified in what i had done)…but i knew that they’d arrest me anyway…i also knew that if i didn’t come clean it’d be much worse for me when i was “caught”…i left the table with the bag (which was now about to break) and carried it into a back warehouse…desperately looking for a place to dump the body…some young black men (like the ones who used to work the guitar center warehouse) tried to direct me to a dumpster…when they couldn’t find one, they transferred me to the overweight middle-aged female manager…they chastised her: “you’re a manager, you should know where the dumpster is!”…she said she would take me to the second floor but she actually started leading me right back to the table…
committing a murder…then my accomplices tried murdering me in the woods…
(falling asleep to investigation discovery again)
dreamt of going on a bus through north plainfield with jared leto (in drag) and jeff ross? we were playing a faggy prank on the other passengers. i looked over at jeff ross and he transformed into a local version of jared leto. i complimented them on their prettyboy faces (they seemed to take the compliment in stride) and surmised that they must’ve gotten lots of pussy in elementary school. both of them claimed to have gotten their first handjobs ’round age 8 (and they started drinking + drugging ’round the same age). i admitted that i had a late start in life.
we arrived at a party at some plain jane’s house. we descended the stairs accompanied by jen ahlstrom. the basement resembled a cleared-out version of the kenwell basement. there was cold pizza on the table but not a drink in sight. i had to take a piss (in real life) so i looked for the bathroom. a plain jane couple was talking about a woman who grew her hair out long like “dylan” (bob?) (her idol) and had recently been murdered? i believe this was the murder mystery documentary from the TV carrying over into my dream…
fell asleep to “investigation discovery”
so i dreamt of a male/female murdering team on the seaside heights boardwalk
who killed little boys on the boardwalk
the girl was sentenced to death / the man was sentenced to years in prison
i observed their modus operandi and decided that i would never be able to kill a child
(as they lurked around a dark young boy playing skee-ball)
(some report said she dated older drug addicts in her early teens)
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💕💝💖💓🖤💙🖤💙🖤💙🖤❤️💚💛🧡❣️💞💔💘❣️🧡💛💚❤️🖤💜🖤💙🖤💙🖤💗💖💝💘
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*🌈✨ *TABLE OF CONTENTS* ✨🌷*
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🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥*we won the war* 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥