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(prince)
“hampshire halloween”
an amazing Halloween experience…
it seems as though I’ve enjoyed a week’s worth of time travel in the past 2 days.
Here is the basic skeleton of the time spent at Hampshire College…
I left Watchung at 5:30PM Friday with my suitcase, acoustic guitar, and Prince costume (which I had unintentionally placed in a “Prince”, the athletic apparel brand, bag – a general foreboding of great things to come)
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I had my usual evening attire on –
Banana Republic khakis,
Timberland boots,
Express T-shirt,
grey blazer jacket,
and “Lennon” sunglasses
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The car journey was simple – 78 East to I-95 over the George Washington Bridge into Connecticut, then I-91 to the Northampton/Route 9 exit, then Route 47, left on Bay Road, and then the entrance to Hampshire College. I decided it would be classier to arrive with a housewarming gift instead of empty-handed, so I drove through the Massachusetts farm country to find a shopping mall. I stopped at CVS for Cold-Eeze lozenges (college campuses are breeding grounds for bacteria, and I’ve got a performance November 5 that I can’t get sick for) and then I bought a bottle of Bombay gin and tonic water at “Liquor 44”. Overall the trip was under 3.5 hours, but with the aforementioned excursion, I arrived in the visitor’s parking lot at around 9:15PM.
I called Mark on the cell and he met me on the street leading to the lot. We greeted each other with a hug (“come here, big guy!”) and then made our way to the parking offices to get me a visitor’s parking permit. The chubby middle-aged lady at the front desk told me I was cleared until Saturday at noon, so Mark and I took my luggage to his mod and dropped it off in his bedroom. I met his modmates – Danya and Jess (both of whom I had previously encountered at the 2005 NYC New York festivities), Mariana, and Astrid. After cleaning up a pimple that I had popped during the car ride (OF COURSE I get a zit RIGHT BEFORE Halloween), Mark gave me the standard tour of Hampshire’s campus. He described the three living communities of the college: Prescott (where he lives along with the other more clean-cut hipsters), B (hardcore hippies), and C (even more hardcore hippies, as in eat acid for breakfast and only shower on holidays). In fact, I don’t remember his description of the inhabitants in C (though we no doubt ran into many of these creatures during the course of the following evening). Mark would know more about that…over to you, Mark (nods head to right)…
Most importantly, he took me to the “secret spot” in the outside brick wall corner of Hampshire’s swimming pool facilities. In this spot, we took full advantage of the massive echo for exclamations. After driving for 4 hours and trekking around the campus, I became extremely hungry (I had eaten a chicken cutlet sandwich before leaving the house). So, we hopped in the car back to the shopping mall area where I picked up the booze before and I enjoyed a 3-egg omelette (Mark just had water). We discussed the future plans for the musical venture/empire and – more pressingly – the plan for Halloween. Upon returning to the mod, I got out the acoustic guitar and showed him the rest of the 10-song demo (MnM, Finest Hour, etc). We began work on a Hampshire Halloween song with a Dm chord progression/melody I had been storing in my back pocket for future use with Mark manning the keyboard. The rest of Mark’s modmates were hard at work on their costumes (Astrid as a horse, Mariana as a Napoleon Dynamite character, Danya as Ursula from ‘The Little Mermaid’, and Jess as a juicebox filled with beetles, or ‘beetlejuice’). Then we all began watching “Prom Night”, an early 80s slasher film with Jamie Lee Curtis and Leslie Nielson! (as a high school principal) about 4 kids who accidentally kill a little girl while trying to scare her (she crashes through an upstairs window while backing up from their advances) and then make a pact to conceal their involvement in the tragedy and subsequently the murder is blamed on a serial pedophile. Flash forward to the period when the 4 kids are seniors in high school getting ready for prom…a vengeful murderer is after all of them and ends up killing them before JLC heroically survives to find the killer’s identity (SPOILER: murderer ends up being the deceased girl’s brother, who had witnessed the ordeal from outside). I had a phone conversation with Malchow late in the night; he departed early Saturday morning for the trail from Maryland. For more info, read his LiveJournal post (“spiderjerusalem”). I also began reading a book by Jonathan Schaefer on vocal theory in different cultures. At bedtime, I borrowed Mark’s sleeping bag and some couch cushions and got comfortable on his bedroom floor. We reminisced for a while before finally falling asleep sometime past 3AM.
THE NEXT DAY…
We were up before 9 to the sounds of Mark’s alarm. With some green tea to kickstart the day, we decided to go running. Without any treadmills within a 20 mile radius, we were forced to take on the frigid New England morning air. I borrowed a Hampshire sweatshirt and we were off on the trail. Then things got crazy as we crossed a pond in our sneakers, getting them soaked while trespassing across farmland (luckily we didn’t hear any shotgun blasts). We continued to run and run as the terrain got steeper and steeper, until we were finally forced to go in “bursts” to make it up the mountain. But we got there, and took a rest at the top after about a 40-min journey (unfortunately the view was obscured by the vegetation). The most dangerous aspect of the trip was the downhill climb, as we had to follow cycles of grab tree, let go and coast for a couple feet, grab another tree, etc so that we didn’t start rolling down. Reminded us of a suspenseful “Jurassic Park” scene (when Grant and the 2 kids are climbing down the tree as their Jeep continues to fall down the branches incrementally just above them). Unfortunately, during one of those spurts downward Mark twisted the same ankle that he had injured a couple months earlier. Nevertheless, we made it back at 11 and Mark whipped up some omelettes for breakfast as I showered (using his state-of-the-art ‘Crew’ shampoo/conditioner/body wash and fancy facewash) and got dressed in my hipster gear to fit in with the rest of the student body (my shaggy hairstyle came in handy).
At 11:40AM we caught the bus to Amherst College where Mark had his Organic Chemistry class with Professor Hansen from 12 – 12:50/break for lunch/2 – 2:50. Since Chemistry hasn’t gotten any more exciting since I took it with Dr. Crowther senior year of HS, I passed the time sketching my costume and scanning the scenery. In the interim period, we strolled around the campus, admiring the New England foliage (Amherst bought up a large portion of the surrounding land just so the scenic view is preserved). Had lunch at a college-town deli where I ate a nice roast beef sandwich on sourdough French bread with a magic rosemary and olive breadstick and “Republican National Convention” cookie (filled with fruits and nuts). On the way back, we ran into one of Mark’s friends and had a chat about her time in Scandinavia…then for the second class period I walked around the campus listening to “Let’s Go Crazy” and “The Beautiful Ones” on my iPod in preparation for the night. Then we caught the bus back to Hampshire, discussing “female teenagers” on the way…
Mark’s modmates were in the main field area putting together a “Bobbing for Apples” stand…except it was too cold to have water outside. We went to the school store and purchased some Diet Pepsi to use for mixing later in the evening. Next on the agenda was preparing the toffee cookies with the magic ingredient…we rolled the dough into little balls and placed them on the cooking tray. I lazily strummed the guitar and made up songs about Jolly Green Giants while Mark started to put on his green tights and shirt, green robe with real green leaves, and green facepaint. Then it was my time to adorn the costume. At around 5PM I put on the purple pants, tucked in the hanger loops, and put the black socks over the white socks (the white platform shoes were a bit too big, so I needed to compensate). Danya suggested that I use safety pins to make the pants tighter, so I later obtained these from Astrid’s boyfriend Jonah. Next up was the “pirate” satin shirt tucked into the pants, with the sleeves tied up as well as the front. I left the front tied real low, to expose the chest hair and “bling” (gold cross necklace). Then the purple jacket, which I also tucked in and then wrapped a black belt around the tucked-in area to get away from the costume vibe. Then the neck lace scarf, eye-liner, drawn-in moustache and soul patch (it didn’t grow in strong enough on its own since Sunday), and Prince mole on the right upper cheek. I styled the hair with volume gel and ‘Lasting Curls’ and then draped it over my face to one side…and BOOM, I began to assume the role (the purple gloves were too heavy and I didn’t like the big aviator glasses, so I didn’t use them). The cookies were done and rationed out to 5 per person (there were 9 participants; in attention to myself, Mark, and his four modmates, there was Jonah and his friend Jason). I couldn’t have asked for a better time at $15 for 1/16. Our cookies turned out a bit brittle…but the girls’ cookies had a perfect texture.
With no dinner place in sight, Mark and I began to devour the organic tortilla chips bag, spacing the cookies over a 2-hour period while I practiced my dance moves in the platforms. I always seem to have a delayed reaction with any substance, so everyone else was feeling the effects while I waited patiently sipping on a gin and tonic. I savor the moment when everything first hits…always happens while I’m consciously trying to search my body for any sign of change, and then begin to waver between convincing myself that it’s hit and fearing that I only imagined the effects, and then you fly over the waterfall! The rest of the night shall be summed up in a bullet-points Power Point presentation that not even Girven could have done better. In piecing together portions of the night, I am going to need Mark’s help (since he understands my obsession with re-constructing events)…
– Phase 1, uncontrollable giggling and giddy joke-telling with Mark
– Jonah as a bum and Jason as the Joker
– some unbelievable harmonizing over improvised lyrics inspired by the surrounding action where Mark and I were forced to anticipate the other’s melodic direction to place the harmonies
– monastic-style solemn singing of the inscriptions on the side of a Jaegermeister bottle, into…
– full-on falsetto Prince imitation screams for “Let’s Go Crazy” and Mark sharing a joint with Jonah and Jason
– traveling to other dimensions; first stop was a Manhattan penthouse filled with gay men in costumes and a view overlooking Central Park (actually the upstairs mod)
– me wanting to hook up with Sher, Mark’s former Asian roommate
– Journeying through the center of the mind in my white platform shoes, imagining that the blue stairways to the mod was a submarine entrance
– Outdoors at the carnival, from the main tent where a plethora of sloppy bands were performing…to a whole different dimension of colorful blow-up rides and attractions!
– At the highest point in my journey, every single face that I looked into became the face of the person from my past that they most resembled…so for example, when I saw a short Jewish girl with long hair I became utterly convinced that it was Carin Glaser (or Peller, which wouldn’t have been a stretch since she is a senior at Mt. Holyoke)
– Whenever we wandered into a dark wilderness area as a passageway to another attraction, I kept having vivid flashbacks of camping/hiking trips from my childhood, a time when nature was a mystical attraction
– These flashbacks culminated into a realization that one views the past through a golden window (as the Maharishi says), and that with the correct mental effort, I could utilize these golden images and bring them into the present…so that an idealized version of my past helps me to achieve the idealized present and future I am striving for
– Wandering to another “substance-free” zone at the height of the roller coaster, then Mark commenting “woa, you’re really fucked up” and then beginning to crash down and wandering into a Mob-themed party (in my earlier gangster days, I would have been a huge hit) with a sedate crowd…I NEEDED TO LEAVE or the journey would have been over
– As I was bringing the golden images from the past and fusing them into a colorful present, I felt different colors of energy flowing through me, and I described these colors in detail to my companion on the journey
– Meanwhile, Mark was beginning a fight with another Jolly Green Giant, who was actually taller than him (wtf, how is that possible!), I may have been a bit more paranoid than usual because I sensed that the fight would turn ugly well before it actually did and Mark, in exaggerating a fall, actually did knock over a concrete park bench as they were throwing peas at each other from a basket that the other giant held. His cronies were egging him on, and I felt that a brawl was going to erupt soon, so we…
– Re-fueled with some more gin and tonics back at the Mod before beginning the quest to satisfy our libidos
– Mark handing me some “candy” that he had received from a friend; I was expecting Dots or Jujyfruits, but then it was actually some new kind of Reeses Pieces with peanuts that tasted horrible…in my paranoid state, I imagined that they were actually contaminated Peanut MnMs, laced with acid…we had to go back to the guy he got them from so I could calm my nerves (that would’ve been out-of-control had they been laced!)
– This DELICIOUS bag of a mixture of tortilla chips, Cheetos, pretzels, and BBQ-flavored Fritos, MMMMMMMM
– I kept having to go back and chew gum and rinse my face everytime I dug into the bag, to preserve my breath for later in the evening
– As I was cooling down in the bedroom with the lights out, Mark’s G-Force laser show screen saver took over and I began having apocalyptic visions and a sense of destiny took over
– Journeying out to the festival for Round 2…
– I remember walking out and getting at least 100 comments on my Prince appearance during the course of the night…then I really started feeling as though I always had to be doing something flamboyant and that I could never abandon the character and be caught in a mundane pose…the curse of celebrity!
– being videotaped doing a dance move under the white tent
– just walking around and Mark and I were drawing attention from people EVERYWHERE WE WENT, we possessed a certain flair that night that is hard to replicate
– running into the girl I met at Sin-e Lounge on Wednesday night, and finding out that she and Mark had known each other for a while (she’s an interpretive dance major or something?)
– entering yet another dimension, a gymnasium where a dance floor was set up…I remember first fearing that we were entering the entrance gates and that I would not be let back in…then I was transported to a high school dance and for a while I was convinced that we had wandered into a local high school celebration
– after that point, I began to cool down and my sexual energy started to take hold of me…people were asking me to pose for pictures with them and every female form that I saw became idealized through my eyes for a good 10 seconds or so…
– I got freaked out initially when two rather large girls (who resembled a girl Chelsea from Harvard and this other large volleyball slut Ariel from Wellesley) came towards us and started grinding…I felt evil vibes from them and we promptly departed…
– …only to return a couple of minutes later…a really hot blonde girl (even after the initial 10-sec grace period, so I knew she was a keeper) dressed as a disco diva came up to me and randomly gave me a huge hug, so we went out and started dancing…my purple pants were like thin sweatpants and she was a great dancer/grinder and an enjoyable time was had by all…
– then I met up with Mark again, engaged in a good ole sloppy dancefloor makeout session with another female…I sought out another hot dance partner dressed as Jessica Rabbit complete with a ridiculously plunging neckline and then came the highest point of the journey…
– The DJ plays the Prince classic “KISS” and I immediately feel that all eyes are on me (except for Mark, who’s still pre-occupied), so I take advantage of the spotlight with some flamboyant dance moves and a loud enough falsetto to come over the actual music, Jessica Rabbit (Lexi) soon joins me and we start getting really down n’ dirty, so much so that her tits pop out of her dress as we are dancing right when I move in for a kiss……
– The night is almost over…and Mark insists that we go to the Hampshire breakfast. I initially express concerns that people seeing Prince eat would be a major letdown, but he is adamant that we observe the tradition (even though the chips had filled me up from before) so we join the large line and chat with the people next to us. I get some orange juice, scrambled eggs and sausage, tater tots, and french toast sticks, as the new Hampshire president joined in serving the food. We took a table down next to a girl dressed as Ms. Frizzle (from the “Magic School Bus” series) and her friends. Mark watched all the people get served as I stoically sat with my back facing the crowd and nibbled on my food like a bird.
– The return to the Mod at 2:30AM…we were both exhausted from the journey and Mark took a shower to rinse off all of the green facepaint. I brushed my teeth/washed my face and then laid down on the floor to re-energize myself and Mark laid on his bed. I think we were initially planning on going back out, but we both fell asleep to the sounds of Mark’s modmates laughing as one of them ripped ass and exclaimed in a Southern accent “Now I’ll neva find me a husband!” Apparently I fell asleep with my arms crossed over my chest in a “funeral pose”. The birth and death of Prince…
The next morning, I woke up early feeling really vigorous and horny and then fell right back asleep until about noon. I went through the morning clean-up routine of shit/shower/cup of tea and then packed up my belongings. We went to the library to eat some free pizza that Mark’s modmates had and chatted about the surreal nature of the previous night and what we had learned from the experience. Then Mark showed me his carrel (workspace in the library) and I browsed through a biography of David Bowie before I finally hit the road at around 1:30PM…
I stopped for gas at a self-serve station in Mass (right before getting on I-91) and then I made it home by around 5PM. I unpacked and then I was exhausted so I fell asleep again from about 6-9PM. I woke up and ate my steak dinner (which was now cold) and then cleaned up the room for a bit. I took some sleeping pills so that I wouldn’t be up all night after that 3-hour nap…
Okay, I’m gonna contribute some random details I am remembering, not necessarily in the order that they occured:
1. Suggestions for the Joker costume. We were mentioning typical Joker costume artifacts to add to Nate’s ensemble. I remember correcting somebody… I made the distinction between a ‘prop’ and a part of a costume. Then I suggested that he have a dildo sticking out of his pants. We all agreed it should be mechanized to wave back and forth realistically.
2. We watched the G-Force visualizations on Windows Media Player, a ritual typically reserved for hard drug use, while listening to the pulsing, cheery progression of Four Tet followed by the out-of-this-world Lux Vivens by Hildegaard von Bingen, sung by Jocelyn Montgomery and produced by David Lynch. That album has become a Halloween tradition of mine.
3. The other Jolly Green Giant. We were joking around, comparing costumes, belly laughs and height to determine the more authentic vegetable man. He gives me some peas and we have a pea fight which becomes unduly aggressive on his end, and I end up toppling over a bench.
4. In the ‘high school dance’ area, I suddenly crash into the land of wet lips. My eyes closed, I see only a large fatty ring of flesh continually pulling and contracting at my senses. I know that it is my tongue in someone else’s mouth. I stay on the alien planet for a while. When I leave, there is the sure promise that I can come back any time.
5. You fell asleep in your costume with your arms across your chest. My modmates kept calling it the funeral of Prince, because that is exactly what it looked like. Prince was born and died that night.
6. Wow, Shane Taylor and I have another mutual friend! I found this out just before we all shared the co-ed bathroom space.
7. You kept travelling to different universes as soon as you imagined them. Those cookies may have hit you later, but they certainly hit you harder!
8. We sang the text on the Frangelico bottle. Because of its monk-shape and abby aesthetic, we sang it like old-school Catholic priests.
9. In the tent, you dancing for the camera when this guy asked you to sing like Prince. You didn’t hear him, and instead did this really weird dance which he videotaped. You then immediately forgot what had just happened.
10. When we walked into the ‘mob-themed’ sub-free party in the Prescott Lounge. The muted, stilted atmosphere and soft jazz music took us to yet another dimension. We left promptly.
11. You kept talking about different colors of energy you could see.
12. You didn’t want to go to midnight breakfast to preserve your Princely image. Eventually, I convinced you to go, because EVERYBODY goes (that is, everybody still conscious). Manfred & Prez Hexter recognized me and said something I couldn’t hear above the noise of the crowded kitchen. We sat and people-watched, though you sir were not facing the incoming crowd and missed that pleasure (perhaps not to be seen in such surroundings?). We then moved back to the mod. I showered to remove make-up, etc. and we both fell asleep with the light on.
That’s it for now. I’ll post more episodes as I remember them.
oh, i had to mention that I asked all of us guy characters (Prince, Joker, Bum, Jolly Green Giant) to laugh in their character voices after I told a joke.
“Knock knock” “Who’s There?” “Fortification” “Fortification Who?” “For da vacation, I’m going to Miami!”
I also remember that the drinks I was making for people became worse and worse as the night progressed.
“i also remember going upstairs to look for extra lemons and you wanting to hook up with sher”
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*👨🔬🕵️♀️🙇♀️*SKETCHES*🙇♂️👩🔬🕵️♂️*
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👈👈👈 ☜ *“HALLOWEEN 2004”*
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👈👈👈☜*“HALLOWEEN JOURNALS”* ☞ 👉👉👉
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💕💝💖💓🖤💙🖤💙🖤💙🖤❤️💚💛🧡❣️💞💔💘❣️🧡💛💚❤️🖤💜🖤💙🖤💙🖤💗💖💝💘
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*🌈✨ *TABLE OF CONTENTS* ✨🌷*
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🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥*we won the war* 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥