(’29 may 2011′)
(sunday morning)
(i was driving home from my 5-year harvard reunion)
(for class of 2006)
(to my sister’s college graduation party @ chadwick beach island NJ)
(4:30AM)
(i had been drinking gin + tonics until the eliot house fete closed ’round 1AM)
(i was already an hour into the journey)
(on the massachusetts turnpike)
(*at least i didn’t get busted for the cannabis on me*)
massachusetts state trooper:
*mark augusta*
“two troopers, Mark D. Augusta and Christopher M. Brown, received eight complaints each – an average of two per year”
(he said that he pulled me over for failure to signal while changing from left to middle lane)
(but then also claimed that he had been tailing me for a mile in the report)
(and that i was speeding)
(so why didn’t he pull me over right away?)
(i always signal when i change lanes)
(even when no one is on the road)
(as was the case here)
(westin barracks)
(781)431-5050
WESTBORO DISTRICT COURT
186 OAK STREET
WESTBORO, MA 01581
(508)366-8266
*OUI*
i bailed myself out of jail the next morning for $40…
the yukon was taken to a towing company…
pleaded “continuance without a finding” to “operating under influence”…received one year of unsupervised probation, $2K in court fines, 45 days suspended license in massachusetts (which overrode the 180 day suspended license issued at the time of arrest), 40 hours of alcohol education classes…although i completed 60 hours of alcohol education classes in new jersey, the probation officer issued me a probation violation because the 48-hour program was completed several days after my probation period was over (even though the sentence was handed down on 19 august 2011 and i completed the program exactly one year to the day)…
the probation officer issued me another probation violation after i informed her that i was arrested for simple assault in january 2012…
(in both cases, the judge dismissed the probation violations (because in the simple assault case the charge had already been dropped by the old man and in the alcohol education case i had already completed the required hours))
since i refused a breathlyzer, i had my license automatically suspended for 180 days in massachusetts…
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(my ‘public defender’ got my ‘speeding ticket’ + ‘improper lane change ticket’ both dropped)
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(this is what you must get for attending your “5-year” college reunion after graduating a year before everyone else…)
on 29 may 2011, JoGa was unlawfully detained by an alleged massachusetts “state trooper” for “operating under influence”. JoGa did not harm any another motorist / pedestrian on the taxpayer-funded INTERSTATE highway and was allegedly driving his mother’s general motors corporation “yukon” (actually a chevrolet / named after american frenchman louis chevrolet) at 95 miles per hour (30 miles per hour over the ‘speed limit’). “Trooper Mark Augusta” was also traveling westbound on I-90 in the middle lane. He (falsely) charged JoGa with “marked lanes” for failing to signal when changing from left –> middle –> right lane.
In actual fact, JoGa passed the vehicle of “Trooper Augusta” from the left lane before subsequently changing from said middle lane to right lane (in preparation of eventual exit to another Interstate Highway 84 / also westbound / en route to 425 cocoa court, chadwick beach island new jersey to the home of Joseph Gatti for the celebration of the graduation from Villanova University for Emily Gatti). JoGa is not aware of the precise rate at which he was traveling at the exact moment “Trooper Augusta” alleges he was traveling 95 miles per hour but he is supremely confident that this is a gross overestimate by a man who presumably must meet some kind of quota for arrests / tickets each month in order to earn a living off taxpayer dollars. Without a radar reading to prove otherwise, JoGa believes “Trooper Adams” to be a self-serving liar. The assumption can reasonably be made that “Trooper Adams”, intrinsically trusted by the Massachusetts taxpayer to enforce all traffic laws, was operating his own vehicle at a rate close to the speed limit of 65 miles per hour before JoGa passed him from the left lane. This immediately begs the question: if a vehicle traveling 95 miles per hour passes another vehicle traveling 65 miles per hour, then how could the operator of the latter vehicle possibly subsequently spot the first vehicle “fail to signal” when changing lanes before the vehicle was well out of reasonable sight? 1.58 miles / minute vs. 1.08 miles / minute. 0.026 miles / second vs. 0.018 miles / second. In a single second, former vehicle is 0.008 miles ahead of latter vehicle (= 42.42 feet). You do the math.
As all licensed drivers learn in Driver’s Ed 101, one speeds up rather than slows down when passing another vehicle from the left. That’s what left lanes are for. JoGa surely signaled before changing into both lanes (as is a built-in mechanical mechanism after 9 years of driving). Unless there is videotaped evidence proving otherwise (which obviously can be doctored in this day and age!), there is no evidence (other than the ‘trooper’s’ allegation) that JoGa did not signal before changing lanes. There were no other vehicles within eyeshot on the road at this given moment. However, Trooper Adams, with the aid of his siren, began traveling at the same rate as JoGa in order to indicate that he wanted JoGa to pull over. JoGa, assuming that this was a legitimately licensed enforcer of the law within the state he was operating his vehicle in, pulled over his vehicle to the right shoulder of the highway.
“Trooper Adams”, an overweight white male with a nauseatingly thick “Boston” accent, requested the driver’s license of JoGa as well as the registration card and insurance card for the vehicle he was operating (both under New Jersey jurisdiction). JoGa complied. At this point, Trooper Adams demanded that JoGa step out of his vehicle and submit to a series of “field sobriety tests”. JoGa complied. After reciting the alphabet (starting from C and ending in V), moving his eyes in the direction of “Trooper Adams'” flashlight beam, and holding his right foot over his left foot with both arms straightened out perpendicular to body for a count of “1 one thousand 2 one thousand 3 one thousand, JoGa assumed he had passed all of given tests and was free to leave. Upon administration of the third (and presumably final) test, JoGa assumed that Trooper Adams wanted him to walk a straight line (as is the standard field sobriety test portrayed in mass media) as he held each foot over the other with the same “1 one thousand…” count. So after raising right foot over left and completing the assignment, he raised left foot over right, counted “1 one thousand, 2 one thousand…” and took a second step. He repeated this maneuever four times without interruption by Trooper Adams. After this, Trooper Adams blurted out in a markedly more aggressive (and self-satisfied manner) “Who told you to keep walking?!?” and proceeded to cuff JoGa’s hands behind his back while shoving him violently to the back of the vehicle.
At this point, JoGa noted the similarities between this ‘state trooper’ and number of other bouncer / ‘coaches’ / faux-paternal types that had done nothing but attempt to emasculate JoGa over the years. The egomaniac’s instinct is to chalk this all up to sexual jealousy, but in this particular case, any reasonable homo sapien could not conclude otherwise. After an unconsented search of JoGa’s vehicle (including the zippers of all the bags he was traveling with), ‘Trooper Adams’ smugly returned to his vehicle (at this point JoGa was in the backseat of his smelly police car) and announced that he had uncovered a ‘bowl’. Assuming that JoGa had been ‘smoking dope’ in addition to drinking alcohol, the trooper started off on a rant about the audacity of ‘coming into his state’ (he was actually going out) and ‘breaking his laws’. JoGa immediately realized that he was dealing with yet another insecure meathead rather than any kinda unbiased enforcer of the law (*sigh*). One of those types that you can tell was a middle-of-the-road high school football player / nobody who could only attain any kind of ‘power’ by becoming a police officer (sadly another of those allegedly ‘unassaible’ positions that other modern-day losers like to build their reputations upon by demarcating their reputations in mass media as ‘unassailable’, much like ‘soldier’). One cannot be surprised at the backlash directed towards our oh-so-honourable policemen once they abuse the powers that the taxpayer has entrusted them with…
JoGa was taken to the Brookline holding station, where he deliberated too long on whether or not to “submit” to a breathalyzer test. In retrospect, JoGa would have passed the test with flying colors (/ scents?) assuming that the test was scientifically administered (as BAC drops by ~0.015 every hour and JoGa had had his third and final beer round midnight (time was now past 4am). However, not being knowledgeable whatsoever with the exact nature of “blood alcohol content” level and already “failing” a field test on bogus petty terms, JoGa was loath to again submit to another “test”. If he failed the test, his license would be suspended for 30 days in Massachusetts (the penalty being increased SIXFOLD for a refusal). So ‘Trooper Adams’ superior sergeant (a mild-mannered Asian-American) was summoned to the room as JoGa continued to deliberate. Both officers set a time limit on the amount of time he had to decide (approximately 10 minutes), accusing JoGa of wanting to “sober up” before submitting to the test (which would indicate that they already suspected that he was hovering somewhere around the ‘legal level’ of 0.08 / at this point this figure indicated nothing to JoGa). After being frightened into complying with the test, JoGa immediately changed his mind and refused the test. At this point, JoGa was stripped of his shoes, his necklace, and all contents of his pockets, and was violently thrown into a holding cell by Trooper Adams. JoGa was informed that he had the right to a single phone call. At around 5am, the state trooper (not JoGa) placed a call to his mother (in Chadwick Beach Island NJ preparing for her daughter’s graduation party). JoGa was subsequently handed his own iphone by Trooper Adams. She was understandably agitated, assuming the worst (a traffic fatality), and was more perturbed when Trooper Adams vaguely informed her of a “marijuana” charge. As JoGa spoke with his mother, Trooper Adams interrupted the call from the outside of the cell (which phone records will prove lasted no longer than 3 minutes). At this point, he entered the holding cell and violently charged at JoGa (at which point the iphone fell to the hard floor, damaging the periphery of the phone). He put his hand to JoGa’s throat and shouted “you’re in my world now, we play by my rules!” JoGa put up his hands to shield his body but otherwise offered no resistance. With only a toilet and a hard bench, JoGa finally fell asleep for an hour or so with a toilet paper roll as pillow. By the time he awoke (past 7am), a new officer was manning the barracks.
At around 9am that morning, JoGa was released on $40 bail. An elderly woman was summoned to the Brookline holding station to assign a court date (that Tuesday @ 8:30am). At this point, JoGa noted that his driver’s license was missing from his wallet. After informing the officer of the missing license, he was informed that he had already signed off verifying that he had been returned all personal belongings. A taxi was summoned to transport JoGa to “Perfection Towing Company” in Pleasantville MA where the Yukon had been towed. The officer informed JoGa that since his Massachusetts license had been revoked, he would have to find someone to drive the Yukon to the state line before he could lawfully operate the vehicle back to Jersey. Upon arrival at the towing company (after a $35 taxicab ride), he was informed by the man behind the desk (another overweight white male with a thick Boston accent) that the police had specifically informed him that he was only “authorized” to release the vehicle to the “registered owner” (Cheryl Gatti). Furthermore, the vehicle would be subject to the daily rates of “towing” up until it was picked up. Suspecting a deeper racket than he had initially gauged, JoGa took the same taxi to South Station Boston (for another $35)…where an Amtrak official informed him that he could not sell him a ticket without a driver’s license (or equivalent form of identification). JoGa then proceeded to a machine which sold him the same ticket (digitally informing him that identification would be checked once he boarded the train…luckily it wasn’t!) JoGa paid $188 to Amtrak (another government-owned entity!) to board an 11:40am ‘acela express’ to trenton (although he eventually got off at NY Penn Station). At this point, JoGa paid another $20 to NJ transit to board a 4:40pm train to Long Branch NJ with a 5:40pm transfer to Bayhead NJ (the only spot where the Jersey Shore taxicab company would pick him up from even though Point Pleasant (the stop before Bayhead) was closer to his destination). After another $25 taxicab ride to chadwick beach island, JoGa finally arrived @ the graduation party (understandably a bit disheveled) sometime before 8pm. Because he was now at the mercy of the state, his family felt free to stipulate that he could not lawfully drink ANY alcohol at the party (despite not having kind of alcohol addiction whatsover). Just when he needed a beer most!
After sneaking a Coors Lite on the back deck, JoGa began arguing with his mother (who was under pressure from Joseph Gatti to enforce the “no drinking” clause). At this point, JoGa decided to leave 425 cocoa court by foot headed for Used To Be’s bar in Normandy NJ (not remembering that he was without a driver’s license / not sure whether a boating license can be used as alternate proof of birthdate!) After a contentious phone conversation with Cheryl Gatti, JoGa was led into believing that she had left the house on foot in search of him and was now herself in danger from some unspecified group of males that she had insinuated via phone were threatening her. Assured that no police officers would be summoned, Joga began sprinting back down 35 (in dress shoes sans socks / never good for the feet!) JoGa arrived at the intersection of Strickland Avenue and Route 35 to face not only Cheryl (and Joseph) but a police officer named “Officer Della Bella”, a middle-aged white male of (for once!) average weight. Apparently Joseph had been instructed by Cheryl to call “911” because she feared JoGa would “throw himself into traffic”. The last thing JoGa wanted was another encounter with a police officer and so after a short discussion and taking down of information (and the summoning of a second police squad car), the officers (apparently) left the scene. At this point, Joseph began berating JoGa for not “moving forward” (a far cry from attempting to place him in psych ward for fear of suicide!). When JoGa attempted to defend himself, Joseph continued to berate him, calling him a “zero musician” (he’s not a very articulate argumentalist but he’s extremely mean-spirited when he feels he’s been in any way slighted). When an argument ensued, Joseph took off back in the direction of the second officer’s car (who had not left the scene) and shouted “Arrest him! He assaulted me!” (a similar incident occurred in December 2010 during an argument in Watchung NJ on Christmas night in which both parties “physically assaulted” one another (if that’s what you want to characterize a few shoves as) but yet only one party was held responsible (not to mention all the times JoGa as a minor was unquestionably physically assaulted by an adult male not for any standard “disobeying” of parental authority but merely because said adult male’s ego was bruised by said precocious child. Here we return back to the curse of the insecure male. In any case, once the officers left the scene, Joseph immediately began launching into a bizarre verbal fantasy about “what he would do to me” followed by the threat that the cops would be again summoned that very Wednesday to forcibly remove JoGa from his Watchung NJ residence.
As one could assume when one is at the mercy of a court of law, after a 5+ hour trip back UP to Massachusetts, the court case did not take place until around noon (a delay of over 3 hours). JoGa traveled with Cheryl (who had to be present to pick up her car from the towing company that Monday night). Of course, the towing company charged her for Tuesday rate since they had arrived sometime past midnight Tuesday morning (after being dropped off in Summit NJ, taking a train to NY Penn Station, taking a Megabus from midtown manhattan to South Station, and taking a taxi to the towing company). With great difficulty, Cheryl drove the car to a Courtyard in Marriott near Brookline because on Sunday night the Brookline Police Dept had informed JoGa by phone that this was where his court date was (JoGa had left the paperwork in the Yukon after locking self out of it while picking up bags the prior Sunday morning / as the ignition key had been removed from lanyard by arresting officer). That night, JoGa realized via the paperwork in the car that the court date was actually in Westboro (which was a 45-minute drive from the Marriott rather than the 3-minute drive they had anticipated to the Brookline Court).
The next morning, they arrived @ Westboro Court before the 8:30 court date. The district attorney was “stuck in traffic” and the court had to “process all the paperwork” from the weekend. And who were we the charged to complain? This was the day after Memorial Day after all (which again begs the question, if the court officials had any kind of foresight why would they make the court date so immediate? If there was so much “paperwork” to be processed, why not spread the court dates out over the week (or month?) The probation officer (another middle-aged overweight white male meathead) asked JoGa a series of questions upon arrival at Westboro District Court. Upon surmising that JoGa was marginally employed as a tutor, flat-broke, and living in a household with much-larger than average income (although JoGa explained that heads of said household were unwilling to pay for a lawyer), he informed JoGa that the judge would decided whether or not he would be entitled to a court-appointed lawyer. After appearing before the judge, the judge instead asked said probation officer whether JoGa was entitled to a court-appointed lawyer (the bald meathead’s answer of course was a flat no). At that point, JoGa was assigned a second court date. JoGa began to realize how many people were actually making their livings off of this preventative “condition crime” charge. Never before had he felt such libertarian fervor! The founding fathers (many of whom hailed from MA!) would surely be appalled!
To this very day, JoGa cannot figure out where the arrest actually took place. Was it “Southborough” as alleged on the ticket? Was it “Weston” as subsequently indicated by phone? Was it “Brookline” where JoGa was eventually detained overnight? All JoGa can conclude from the ordeal is that the state of Massachusetts (of which he resided in for 3 years) is an even poorer reflection on humanity than the state of New Jersey. Not to say there are not a large majority of worthy human beings in both states, rather that both locations are characterized by a depressing lack of aesthetic character.
As of 9 June 2011, JoGa has still not received his driver’s license, registration card, or insurance card via mail as indicated that he would by phone 2 days after the arrest. His driver’s license has been suspended for 180 days in the state of Massachusetts for “refusing” a breathalyzer test. Cheryl refuses to allow him to operate the Yukon until he has a physical copy of registration and insurance card on hand (as she just now “noticed” the Yukon was past “inspection”). Therefore, his mobility is severely restricted at the present moment (and he starts a 7-day-a-week job on 11 June 2011 in Princeton NJ / an hour commute!) His arraignment on these bogus charges is 13 July 2011. Will you please wish him luck for me?
(update:)
on 13 july 2011 JoGa and Cheryl Lynn arrived at Westboro(ugh) Court House well before 8:30am (after leaving jersey ’round 3:30am). Cheryl Lynn drove to the courthouse as JoGa’s license is revoked in Massachusetts for another ~ four and half months. Since he stated his work to be “freelance” rather than associated with Princeton Tutoring this time ’round, he was granted a court-appointed lawyer (Charles E. Wood) by the judge (via the parole officer). Charles E. Wood informed me that technically I wasn’t allowed to leave the state pending trial! (other than that, he wasn’t of much assistance other than to advise me to voluntarily enroll in some “driving under the influence” course in New Jersey). He concluded by stating that I had a “sad case” (since I was out of state?)
i ended up landing an out-of-state “operating under influence” on the way back to chadwick beach island…
(cue alexander jones: “shiny medallions…fancy hat…bow down to that!”)
(“jailbird blues”)
(“jailbreak”)
(“jogajale”)
(“joga’s in jail?”)
since i couldn’t afford a lawyer, i was assigned “public defender” charles wood. he settled right away and i was required to take 40 hours of alcohol education classes. in this regard, the legal system is certainly making some egregious assumptions. just because a person allegedly operated a motor vehicle “under influence”, one should automatically assume he/she has an alcohol “problem”? in any case, these types of programs only serve to employ more useless little bureaucrats who can go to their “jobs” each day and pretend like they are serving the society at large. in any case, new jersey only requires 12 hours (divided into 2 consecutive 6-hour sessions) for first-time “drunk drivers”. it took the IDRC (“intoxicated driver resource center”…what a lovely title!) over 4 months to register me for the 12-hour program.
on 7 august 2012, i was informed by my probation officer ashley losapio that the passaic county IDRC could “squeeze me in” for a 48-hour program from 10 august 2012 – 12 august 2012 (6pm friday to 6pm sunday). they will be sending over all the necessary paperwork and it will cost me and my family $280 (though i assumed there is also a $100 “charge” to the new jersey department of motor vehicles just for the hell of it)
the address is:
182 first street
passaic NJ 07055
a 90-minute drive from my current digs in bricktown…(and i don’t even have a car!)…the state sure makes things convenient!
ashley has never e-mailed me back once. this is because e-mail is permanently sealed…(aka can be used as evidence in a court of law). most people are too complacent to tap their phone lines (i’m not). i’ve saved several of her voicemails and recorded them to .wav format.
on 20 august 2012, she did not return a 11:00am phone call.
i assume the worst…
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(she has issued the ‘probation violation’ + will not say another word until the ‘judge’ decides whether or not there is probable cause for ‘probation violation’…)
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💕💝💖💓🖤💙🖤💙🖤💙🖤❤️💚💛🧡❣️💞💔💘❣️🧡💛💚❤️🖤💜🖤💙🖤💙🖤💗💖💝💘
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*🌈✨ *TABLE OF CONTENTS* ✨🌷*
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🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥*we won the war* 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥