*28 november 2013*
(sleep schedule is all fucked up)
(cheryl claimed she was “too busy” to drive me back to watchung for thanksgiving eve)
bullshit…
so i passed out in the afternoon…
then the rolland runts offered to drive me back to watchung…but i was fast asleep…again i slept right through an opportunity…we’ll see if cheryl bails on me again…i hung up on her at noon and she may very well use that as an excuse not to pick me up…”you were being angry!”…just like last christmas when she almost refused to drive me back to watchung because she “smelled alcohol on my breath”…i wonder what time thanksgiving dinner is scheduled for…and what will i do during the downtime in watchung?…it’s not like i interact with anyone else in the family…i’ll just keep to myself and write music…
mike hooked up with the rolland runts…but he wouldn’t smoke dope…there was no cover (nor music) @ delicious heights…nobody from the hills was there…then why go?…jeff rolland drove them all…it was hazy blaise’s idea…they arrived at the colorado cafe too late…didn’t pick up any chicks…
emily went to the stonehouse tavern (according to the old man)…erica henriques bought her a drink…she probably badmouthed me as well…
so i finally cleaned up my act…and uploaded my ipod…still haven’t confronted dorothy about the blockade…her daughter isn’t even here…i’ll have to start swiping food from her…
cheryl arrived sometime after 10:30am…we had breakfast @ “bon apetit”…i got the “#2” (a ham cheese egg wrap) and a tangerine spritzer…i attempted to order a large iced coffee with two espresso shots…the girl gave me a hot (hazelnut?) coffee…even though i gave the order twice and spoke as clearly as possible…my order was #67…other numbers were crossed out on the tab…we arrived back at the watchung house…the rest of the family was already there…mike took a picture of us…i left a voicemail for AI…i chatted with magic dan…rolls wasn’t answering his phone…i took shits and pisses…read a dumbed-down TIME magazine…watched football on television…ate 4 shrimp and drank a tangerine spritzer…hit golf balls in the yard (with mike’s 58-degree wedge)…lost golf balls in the neighbor’s woods…saw emily for the first time in 2 years…she inherited grandmother’s car…took a ride with mike to starbucks (in mom’s car)…loaded up the old man’s car with food…drove with him in the front seat…cheryl and emily took emily’s car…men and women…got to the crowley compound sometime after 2pm…rocky (the big black dog) and obi (the little white dog)…nicholas didn’t have any dope…he broke up with amalia (but they “still talk”)…he pledged a frat (unsuccessfully?) and he’s going to pledge another frat…abigail looked particularly scrumptious…matthew is breaking out in pimples…he sees a dermatologist…nathan doesn’t even play sports anymore…he is in a “fitness program”…because he is becoming a plump pumpkin…james is seeing a “thai masseuse”…he and jackie swear by her…i went on a rant against chiropractors and other quacks…it turns out that their neighbor is a chiropractor…i was sarcastic with cheryl because i sensed that she bailed on me intentionally yesterday…i started calling her a “clam” because they have analogous personalities…i shook the old man’s hand…everyone else gave me a hug…everyone else was looking at grandma’s old pictures…the ghost of grandma skip…i wasn’t having any of it…cheryl tried showing me pictures and i shooed her away…there was an old newspaper chronicling the kennedy assassination…i kept making “inappropriate comments” (sexual or otherwise)…i was probably being quite insulting (as is par for the course)…jackie asked if “i was healthy”…then she pointed out my eye stye…no one else seemed to notice (until i pointed it out)…mike’s iphone has a security code…i couldn’t figure it out…everyone else has iphones…i was the first to get an iphone…
cheryl begged the old man: “be nice to me”
they still treat michael like a child…now his shoulder hurts…he’s seeing a doctor…emily seems embarrassed by the family’s inherent childishness…but she still ignores me (the one sympathetic soul she has)…
i busted nathan’s balls…he seemed hurt…
they told me that i’d “look like mike” if i shaved my beard…i told nathan i was an alien…he agreed…i railed against organized religion to jackie…she takes the kids to a lutheran church…but they don’t seem to be “true believers”…she said i looked like “jesus” and a “rock star” with the beard…sounds good to me…i then espoused my libertarian views to her…she’s an anti-drug crusader…she doesn’t even approve of dope…
cheryl is a liar…she lied about the 2008 thanksgiving…she claimed that she cancelled the reservation at the harvard club NYC…she didn’t…the old man only opens up to me when i recount my embarrassing / humiliating episodes of the past…
i told mike that i stole wine bottles from dorothy…and i played him the voicemail that she left me…they all know that i’m a dope smoker…so what?
i started drinking german beer…jimmy told nathan to fetch me a bottle opener…i was the first to go for the booze…mike and emily soon followed suit…they had “heineken light” and “bud light” on ice…even nicholas was allowed to drink (at my urging)…mike offered me ‘especially ordered “duck liver” on a cracker…tasted like bologna…i had nathan bring me beer and bottle opener…they ran out of my german beer…i had abigail bring me champagne and pomegranate…jackie offered me cracker cream cheese salmon balls…i should’ve went right for the ketel one vodka…but i was afraid that i’d be negatively judged by the others…after not drinking for awhile, the beer was more than enough for me…i threw my empty bottles in the recycling bin (next to the garbage bin under the sink)…took several pisses…
i should’ve eaten more food…and taken some leftovers…i stacked my plate to the hilt…should’ve taken an entire drumstick…only dark meat for me…mashed potatoes…sausage stuffing…marshmellow sweet mashed potatoes…corn pudding…three biscuits…brussel sprouts…nathan didn’t think i could eat all that food…i did (even though i didn’t want to kill my buzz)…i sat at the horizontal center of the table…jimmy and jackie sat at the heads of the table…nicholas to my left…nathan to my right…across from the parents…uncle jimmy didn’t even offer me wine…because i was drinking a heineken light…until i (not so subtly) made a fuss…then he offered me zinfandel after dinner…i was the first to clear my plate and bring it to the sink…i didn’t even eat dessert…mike expressed his interest in taking home leftovers…i should’ve taken home leftovers…no one offered me any leftovers…i recounted my arrest last year for public intoxication…i hope it was entertaining…cheryl said grace in a generic fashion…she’s so boring…i suspect that she’s a bot…i railed against the educational system…jackie brought up my harvard education…she was sure to note that the old man paid my tuition…
nicholas and matty manning filmed me as i performed solo on acoustic guitar…mostly cover songs…mostly beatles songs…just to prove that my voice was still in top form…nobody seemed to be tuning in…everyone else was washing dishes…at least they were all complimentary…my voice sounded good as usual…cheryl urged me to play original music…i think i played “brainwashed”…other than that it was all “hey jude”…my voice echoed in the mansion…emily pretended not to notice…nicholas digs “sadness”…now i need to revisit the “finest hour” tunes…aunt jackie was playing pop music from a television station…of course none of my music was played…even though i requested that my music be played…
we started playing a variant of “jenga” with a “rainbow” name…”jenga” (swahili: “to build”)…i invented a game in which one had to stack blocks vertically until the block tower came crashing down…i got to 11…nathan reached 14…matt took pictures…then mike came along…abby matt nathan mike played standard “jenga”…roll a 6-sided color dice and pull out a block of that color from the stack before putting it on top…the tower must remain upright for 3 seconds before your turn is over…there are no winners…only one “loser”…great…my kind of game!…and yet they started “betting” on the game with dollar bills…abigail only had change…i provided color commentary and music…for this i was paid one dollar…i made up a song (an E blues) called “little nathan”…in falsetto…abigail said i sounded like a pedophile…otherwise i just played instrumental passages to reflect the dynamic of the game…i believe matty manning lost…the betting structure didn’t make any sense…the player would put some random amount of money in the pot before his turn…to reflect how confident he was that he would be successful?…mostly a show of bravado (as other players weren’t required to match the amount)…the other 3 players split up the $15 pot…it seems that nathan and matty manning are loaded…nathan brandished a money clip full of bills…
cheryl wanted to get me on a train ASAP…it was clear that they didn’t want me sleeping over the house that night…emily was sticking with the old man…they left the crowley compound first…she was headed to her boyfriend’s family’s house…at least they both hugged me goodbye…i was the last to leave…nick followed me to the door…cheryl and mike started to gang up on me in the old man’s car…this time i was relegated to the backseat…i held my ground…
mike and cheryl went to the chory residence to give missus chory her cancer shot…i hope the old cunt dies…the old man was already in bed…it wasn’t even 8pm…he wouldn’t even answer when i knocked on his bedroom door…bad memories…finally he answered in his bathrobe…i was craving tobacco…he claimed that he hadn’t smoked in 6 years and didn’t have any cigars nor cigarettes…he told me to search by the fireplace…i couldn’t find anything…i drank the rest of the bottle of red wine on the kitchen counter (from a wine glass) and threw the bottle in the recycling bin…seems they hide all their liquor when they know i’m coming to town…
cheryl arrived and insisted i leave…she made it clear i wasn’t allowed to stay overnight…the old man urged me to leave from his bedroom window…mike urged me to leave…i became belligerent…i dared them to call the police on me…let them continue the holiday tradition…
they were more concerned that i’d “disturb the neighbors”…even though it wasn’t even 8pm…i began chanting “attica!”…
finally i told them to buy me a pack of cigarettes and drop me off at the rollands…cheryl initially agreed but then she reneged on her promise once we hit the road…again i was in the backseat…i threatened to jump out of the car…so she finally dropped me off at the rolland residence…even though mike rolland texted me and said he’d pick me up @ 9pm…they were still celebrating hanukkah…lighting the menorah…i rang the doorbell several times…i finally got the attention of magic dan…chatted with cathy rolland…she was doing dishes…the grandfather was just going to sleep…the old man and jeff were watching television…i chatted with bob rolland about chess…even though i don’t know how to play…then mike gave me the signal that it was time to toke…first i took a piss…
“we’ve got a madman on our hands!”
i must’ve blacked out after smoking the bowl in the garage with daniel and michael…i hope i didn’t say anything offensive…the last i remember mister rolland was walking me to the door…he had a concerned expression on his face as he hugged me goodbye…it seems that i’m not welcome to sleep over the rolland residence either…they couldn’t even drive me back to the watchung house…according to cheryl, “they” texted mike last night and told him to pick me up…another buzzkill…
cheryl and mike drove me back to princeton…i was screaming the whole way home…i probably called her a cunt…mike was shell-shocked…i don’t remember much of the trip…i thought mike needed to board a train back to NYC…now he’s going to blame me for his lack of sleep…at least he got to see my apartment…and cheryl did my laundry…and gave me 4 mango fandango spritzers…i’m going to drink them all now…
i was asleep before 9:30pm…woke up sometime after 7am…missed two calls from champ before 9:30pm…he texted me: “i love you and will talk to you tomorrow”…at least i caught up on sleep (after staying up all night)…called up cheryl…she’s “disgusted by my behavior” and expects an apology…i didn’t give her one…instead i likewise demanded an apology from her…what else is new?
received an e-mail picture from champ…now i need to get nick and matt to upload the performance videos to google drive…
i wonder if the princeton public library is open today…i need to make copies…i should get working on the “marriage” and “stations” videos for AI…that’s the only way i’m going to feed myself…the stock market closes @ 1pm today…and yet mike still has to work until 4pm…while the rest of the family goes to the movies…
back to shitting + farting after yesterday’s meal…dorothy is here (as usual)…up and banging around…i look good…i feel healthy…AI still isn’t answering his phone…i left a voicemail…
(now it’s back to musicmaking)
(i should be performing thanksgiving concerts on television)
(not ‘lady gaga’ + ‘elton john’)
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👈👈👈☜*“THANKSGIVING JOURNALS”* ☞ 👉👉👉
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💕💝💖💓🖤💙🖤💙🖤💙🖤❤️💚💛🧡❣️💞💔💘❣️🧡💛💚❤️🖤💜🖤💙🖤💙🖤💗💖💝💘
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*🌈✨ *TABLE OF CONTENTS* ✨🌷*
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🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥*we won the war* 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥