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-as of [9 DECEMBER 2023]–
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(*february 14*)
(in memory of “saint valentine”)
(one of several martyred saints in ‘ancient rome’)
february 14…
in memory of “saint valentine” (one of several martyred saints in ancient rome)
*2015*
stayed in bed until 2pm…not feeling any withdrawals (yet) after downing the pint of vodka last night…spent $2 on a can of iced tea and can of fruit punch from motel vending machine…walked in the snow to CVS / library…mistakenly left message for cheryl (trying to leave message on aaron’s phone looking for gandharva)…now i’m downing coffees + energy drinks @ the library…$60 left on foodstamps card…getting likes from gandharva and jesse neadle for the “katerina” video…want to go to gandharva’s pad and get stoned…or better yet he can get grass from his brother and bring it over to the motel room for brainstorming session…as i knew he would, andrew revealed his weakness to me…he doesn’t want to move to san francisco without us…his alleged “backers” are allegedly going to pay his rent…then why not have them pay for us as well?…
gonna have nasty shits today…gotta load up on more food…what will this coming week bring…michael anthony turns 29 in two wednesdays…
so i put in my two hours @ the library computer…got back to the room fired up on monsters…jotted down some more song lyrics…then pigged out on four beef jerky / string cheeses / 2 ham + cheese hot pockets and started napping again…
gonzalez called me @ 8pm…he was starving…he came over and i gave him two hot pockets + 2 monsters…he gave me a few cigarettes…then we went back to his house and smoked a joint…went back to the room and i cleaned up my act…now i’m missing the pack of acoustic guitar strings from thursday afternoon…searched the entire room (multiple times) to no avail…either i threw them out by accident or gonzalez took them…in either case, my livelihood depends on them…went back to his house (driving in the dangerous snowstorm) and smoked another joint…then he left @ 2am…i got horny + hungry…watched may december porn then ate some chili sandwiches (and vegetables chips)…my teeth were stinging from the monsters…then i got a great night’s sleep…
*2014*
two days to valentine’s day…
(wonder if i can manage to get laid)
another lonely valentine’s day…stranded at mount’s motel…
i recall the excitement associated with the handing out of valentine’s to classmates…
(beginning in elementary school)
1997:
i was still dating kimberly blackadar but we were about to break up…she gave me a little box with a ladybug for valentine’s day and i remember smashing it in frustration…out of jealousy over her relations with jeff bassman…we broke up shortly thereafter…
2007:
i was preparing to move out of my parent’s house and into NYC…bergblum and i launched a “valentine’s day” podcast and he printed “starlight brigade” invitations for me…i was going to give one to desi defino (who was a busty teenage redhead working at the local drug fair) but i never ended up doing so…
“professor imagination speaking. welcome to the JoGa valentine’s day podcast, a weekly dispatch with news from the kingdom of dopeland.
“today is wednesday 14 february 2007…our main story covers the ‘EVOL’ song proclamation, warning of black forces hard at work on valentine’s day…first, it’s time for the seven-day color report…
[color report]
february is blue…
and now for our main story.
[‘EVOL’ song proclamation warns of black forces at work]
joga has proclaimed a state of extreme caution across the kingdom as wide-spread “black forces” threaten to weaken its subjects…
the issue was first brought to joga’s attention when the dwarf pella was spurned from what turned out to be a temporary love affair. the sudden change of affection was dubbed “EVOL”, and is the result of black forces which influence humans to channel their emotions on a narrow trajectory to another person…
the forces are known to change their direction frequently, often leaving one sapped of positive energy when none is reciprocated through a mutually operated emotional channel…
however, it is important to note that the forces are not intrinsically evil, but are, in their very nature, neutral harbingers of change in the relationships of humans. still, joga warns that they are wild in nature and must be tamed to uphold the kingdom and the safety of its subjects…
[a valentine warning]
as the celebration of valentine’s day has spread to some among joga’s loyal following, joga decided to issue a song proclamation this week to help practice the holiday responsibly and understand the forces which can drive even the strongest of men to severe emotional damage…
the now widely-rebroadcast “EVOL” transmission, running at three minutes and twenty seconds, uses the music and metaphor-based hybrid language spoken by the practicers of jogabop to better articulate the nature of the black forces and how to handle them…
joga titled the song EVOL to detail how the aggressive trend of serial monogamy in the west is a threat to a higher love. EVOL, “love” spelled backwards, suggests the constant change of “evolution”. the spelling is thus the inverse of “love” in the same way that EVOL’s Unpredictability is anathema to Love’s Constancy…
this dichotomy is illustrated in the musical structure of the song, contrasting familiar, repeated chord progressions with sustained notes that challenge the stability of each chord, creating tension.
for instance, an F Major 7th Chord changes to the C Major 7Th and then D Minor Chord like many songs in the canon of Western religious music. However, in his proclamation, joga added a prominent ‘A’ to the C Major 7th, signifying the black forces which can influence a change in direction musically as it can alter the trajectory of someone’s love. significantly, the song does not alter its steady path, and it thus stands as an emotional guide to those who wish to avoid suffering in life…
[joga’s advice]
joga advises taking safety from these harmful changes by focusing the black forces towards him, as Love for him will always be returned through his music.
Pledge allegiance to JoGa and to his lifelong mission, an emotional celibacy to restore power to the masculine throne and avoid vulnerability regarding heterosexual emotions:
women, why so confusing?
try to turn the tide…
’til you’re turned away…
just protect your pride…
and keep it all inside ’til your dying day…
in other news, invitations have been issued from jogajungle to those females worthy enough to serve in the STARLIGHT BRIGADE. though the Starlight Brigade was initially formed for the dumb angels of dopeland to stay silent and keep themselves beautiful, joga has issued a formal request for the new members to comment on the “EVOL” Song Proclamation. He will accept any messages sent to the following e-mail address:
jogajungle@gmail.com
(speaking on the state of joga affairs, this is professor imagination…)
2008:
i had just met liliana…probably should’ve asked her on a date then…
2009:
i performed @ desmond’s tavern…hooked up with purba mukerjee @ adam rifaat’s father’s house after the show…
2010:
i was single…
2011:
i was dating emma wolin…we went to the bridgewater cinema to watch “sixteen candles”…i got her a dozen roses…she didn’t get me anything…i took her back to her father’s house…she didn’t want to have sex…she gave me a handjob instead…
2012:
i was single…either living with my grandmother or at my parents’ shorehouse…
2013:
this has been an extremely rough (though ultimately productive) week…i’ve been drinking my usual daily dose of a 40oz steel reserve / pint of gilbey’s vodka and a can of dip (grizzy wintergreen). somehow its been tougher to cop a decent buzz lately. the tolerance is building up again. and i bought all the grizzly dip up @ rite-aid (they should re-stock tomorrow). i mistakenly bought the “fine cut” variety yesterday (instead of my usual “long cut”) and as a result swallowed a ton of dip (which i suspect led to my general queasiness today along with massive amounts of alcohol)…i’ve felt like i was going to die several times this week (my masturbatory horniness usually rescues me from the abyss)…
i’ve been shitting too much and we’re out of toilet paper (i’ve been resorting to paper towels)…mun hoe doesn’t seem to want to share his toilet paper with me (i suspect he has a personal roll he takes in and out of the bathroom)…i’ve been paranoid that the landlord’s gonna sneak up on me one of these days and give me shit about “hair in the bathroom”…i should really take out the trash…i still haven’t paid off my utility bill and rent is due in two weeks…i’m scared to check my bank account…the $200 from AI is probably almost all gone and mama still hasn’t been paid back for giving me the rent this month…i still owe mark’s friend john money…i still have outstanding medical bills (which mom told me she’d take care of)…i have no job and now i used up all the minutes on my cellphone…i’m running out of food and have to resort to dunkin donuts gift card to feed myself…i even lost my house keys (luckily i have a spare set)…
boris is always creaking and groaning below me…mun hoe is always going in and out of the bathroom…i hardly ever see the two upstairs roommates…i lied to chris and told him that i have plenty of money in my bank account and was performing at alchemist on thursday night…
on sunday night, i threw up (more like dry heaved) for the first time in months…
i’ve been recording at least a song a day (mostly re-worked versions of 2008 tunes that i never recorded to my satisfaction when i started concentrating on playing the NYC circuit with the “jogabot” band)…many of these songs (“let it charge” / “missed opportunities”) ended up on the 2009 / 2010 “compilation” CD releases but now i’m being more meticulous in my recording process…the “dopeland” music is still daunting…i’m still not getting much internet acclaim…i’ve gotta get back to recording AI’s repraise songs…the “NJ idol” auditions are this saturday @ 1pm…i’ve gotta keep healthy…
i performed several songs @ the alchemist and barrister “open mic” night round 10pm…it was snowing for the entire walk down to witherspoon (but luckily it wasn’t so cold)…i had forced myself to shower / brush teeth / shave beforehand (and i hadn’t eaten all day)…i was extremely horny…they asked for two forms of ID at the door…”eric” (the “straight fag” who runs the open mic) opened the show with several shitty acoustic songs of his own…there were about 6 others acts before me (all other terribly earnest young white / asian males whose egos refuse to surrender)…i sat alone at a table and forced myself to feign interest in their music…several of the performers (including eric) featured in several acts before i had a chance to play…i told a cute blonde waitress (lori hoff) that i’d dedicate a song to her…she asked for “here comes the sun” but i played “don’t look back in anger” for her (even though the song references a “sally”)…there weren’t all that many people watching me play (a waitress told me that it was a slow night due to the snow)…i was in great voice as usual…i played mostly covers (“helter skelter” / “rocky raccoon” / “don’t look back in anger”) as well as “let it charge” and “trespassing” (my new title for “standing in your driveway”)…then eric cut me off…got some scattershot compliments from the other performers…then i went outside and bummed a cigarette off another cute waitress “katie elizabeth” (nicholson)…she was complimentary (as was lori)…they work there every night…katie grew up in ewing and lives in lawrenceville…a 26-year-old virginia tech graduate (class of 2010)…lori went to south hunterdon regional high school and lives in delaware valley…judging from their facebook profiles, they don’t seem to have boyfriends…i bummed another cigarette off katie and headed to the ivy inn for karaoke night…
i sang my usual “oh! darling” to much acclaim (mostly from fratty princeton seniors)…a lot of them told me i was the best singer they’d ever heard…i rewarded their kind words with free CDs (“finest hour”)…i didn’t have time to sing any more songs…i chatted with a cute british 23-year-old princeton graduate student of biology named “catherine osford”…bummed another cigarette off a dude who remembered me from the night last october that i got booted out of the bar…then i made the long trip home…got several mysterious phone calls from a “restricted” number…
i’ll have to return to the alchemist and talk to “tom” about booking a sunday night show with the band…same goes for triumph brewery (“katie” is there after 2pm tomorrow according to the bartender)…princeton sports grill doesn’t have bands…
still extremely horny, i rubbed one out before eating some cheese + crackers / granola bar / brownies / apple out of sheer boredom…this turned out to be a terrible idea…i was soon having my bouts of cold sweats / queasiness / paranoia (which led to insomnia for the second night in a row)…i couldn’t get the day rolling until i forced myself to head over to dunkin donuts ’round noon (reasoning that some greasy breakfast sandwiches would be good for my stomach)…i still don’t feel so hot (and i’m too queasy to drink my coffee)…i could go for some dip…
i don’t think this is going to be a terribly productive day…i still got a daily dose of booze left but i’m in no mood to drink…already masturbated this morning…i think i’ll just lie around and watch youtube videos all day + night…booze and coffee (as well as a mountain dew swiped from my roommate) don’t seem to be the best way to treat a stomach ache…i’ll probably end up spending the rest of my spare cash on hand on a can of dip…
bought a cheap can of “wolf” dip but it didn’t make me feel much better…tried to force down more liquor + coffee but it only made me feel worse…ended up g-chatting with champ and trying to mix down vocals for “plight of the phoenix”…went to sleep around midnight but was lying in bed ’til 6am (when dunkin donuts opened)…then i fell asleep until 1pm (i needed that)…got some food @ dunkin donuts and lounged around all day g-chatting with larnald…
mun hoe refilled the toilet paper…back to dipping and drinking (coffee and the rest of my booze)…may as well finish it before starting a clean slate tomorrow…mama will be here @ 11am…she wanted me to book a haircut before the audition but i don’t have the phone minutes to do so (and didn’t feel like telling her this)…gotta get showered up first…
starting to feel a BIT better…
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*👨🔬🕵️♀️🙇♀️*SKETCHES*🙇♂️👩🔬🕵️♂️*
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👈👈👈☜*“HOLIDAZE JOURNALS”* ☞ 👉👉👉
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💕💝💖💓🖤💙🖤💙🖤💙🖤❤️💚💛🧡❣️💞💔💘❣️🧡💛💚❤️🖤💜🖤💙🖤💙🖤💗💖💝💘
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*🌈✨ *TABLE OF CONTENTS* ✨🌷*
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🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥*we won the war* 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥