*BRICK*
“SUMMER 2012” –>
(i’d routinely help myself to other housemates’ food from the ‘refrigerator’)
(because i suspected that they took my food as well)
.
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*PRINCETON*
61 Clearview Avenue:
(FALL 2012)
i’d routinely help myself to other housemates’ food from the refrigerator
(mun hoe probably secretly reported me to the landlord)
(though he never confronted me)
shaolin’s wife confronted me on a saturday morning for eating her dumplings from our shared freezer
(i denied all accusations)
(she called the landlord)
(she threatened to call the police)
(she tried to physically attack me until her husband restrained her)
(the landlord made me sign a statement promising not to eat other people’s food from the kitchen)
.
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*14 Oakland Street*
(FALL 2013)
i took 6 wine bottles from the basement
(i disposed of 4 of the bottles)
(but i put back two empty bottles because i was afraid dorothy would notice that they were missing)
(even though she would probably notice the missing tops)
(i noticed that she routinely went into the back room of the basement)
(if she accuses me of stealing the wine bottles, then the police could take fingerprints)
(my defense could be that i helped her move the wine bottles from the kitchen)
(or that i helped her uncork them)
(i’ll just tell the police to fingerprint her corkscrew as well)
(and explain that she locks the kitchen door when she’s not home)
(and i don’t have a key)
(what if the police fingerprint the entire basement?)
.
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“OCTOBER 2014” –>
(‘gabriel the thief’ accused me of ‘theft’)
(like jon)
(and jon the drunk)
(the assaulters accusing me of assault)
(the trespassers accusing me of trespassing)
(the detective saw right through him and dropped charges next day)
.
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*SEPTEMBER 2021*
*missing ‘USB-C / ethernet adapter’*
(ordered via ‘apple’)
(UPS marked it delivered on ‘september 10th’)
(it hasn’t arrived as of ’14 september 2021′)
.
.
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💕💝💖💓🖤💙🖤💙🖤💙🖤❤️💚💛🧡❣️💞💔💘❣️🧡💛💚❤️🖤💜🖤💙🖤💙🖤💗💖💝💘
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*🌈✨ *TABLE OF CONTENTS* ✨🌷*
.
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🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥*we won the war* 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥