-as of [8 JUNE 2024]–
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*DECEMBER 2009*
a mouse came into the house for warmth on a cold december night
i had been unloading the yukon after a brooklyn gig and absentmindedly left the back door open.
as i walked up the basement stairs, an unidentified black object came charging down at me
i was too puzzled to be shocked. i figured it was a really big insect at first. because i’m not frightened by insects. but i do have a strong rodent phobia. it’s an anti-disney stance.
so now there’s a mouse living in the basement with me. there are too many spots for the mouse to run for cover whenever i try catching it. so i never know where it will turn up next.
my first instinct was to ruthlessly kill the mouse. i recalled blumberg’s means of eradicating a mouse from his greenpointe apartment by crushing it with a dresser drawer. he reasoned that the mouse wasn’t paying rent, so why should he let it stay any longer?
i was all ready to crush the mouse with the ampeg bass amp. but i thought it’d get too messy that way. so i let it get away (nearly destroying the television set in the process).
then i relented and decided that the best thing to do would be to set the mouse free. back into the bitter cold. so i put out cheese as incentive for the mouse to come out. but it was too scared by then to come out of hiding.
now all i really want to do is capture and observe, like the true scientist i am at my core. so i emptied a boarding game box and put on a pair of gloves. this could get ugly. bill murray and the caddyshack groundhog sprang to immediate mind.
so i brought my cat down the basement. but by now the cat’s too old n’ lazy to bother hunting rodents. the cat started eating the cheese instead.
i suppose i should have pity on a fellow mammal. after all, mice are regarded to be the second most successful mammals (after humans).
but i associate mice with the spread of disease. this is troubling to me. soon the basement will be overrun by mouse shit
“there’s a mouse in the house!”
this is a landmark of sorts. the very first time i’ve ever encountered a loose rodent in an indoor setting. in 2 years of city living, i had a few cockroaches but never a mouse. my next door neighbor asian alice struggled against a mouse but seemed to take it all in stride. i would’ve been terrified in such close quarters. i’ve encountered many a rat on the street, coming close to stepping on one or two during night runs.
rodents: an order of mammal characterized by two continuously growing incisors in upper/lower jaw which must be kept short by gnawing.
(that’s why mouse bites pack that punch)
today, 40% of mammal species are rodents. this just means rodents are a diversified lot rather than actually represent 40% of living mammals.
i used to make a distinct noise as a child where i’d store pockets of air + liquid saliva between each side of my upper lip + top gums. and keeping my mouth closed, i’d manuever my salivary glands and push the air/saliva bubbles forward. it’s a cool sound to make if you’re bored. not quite as fun as flicking a finger out of a mouth full of air (‘pop’!’), a feat i believed i had invented in first grade until i saw kevin savage using it on ‘the wonder years’. i have a lot of hazy memories associated with that show. probably because i was used to hearing daniel stern play a goofy hapless burglar in ‘home alone’. now he was pulling off tender narration.
impressive.
….NOT!
enough about sound effects.
so after several nights in the basement somewhat uncomfortable with the prospect of a mouse sharing my bed with me, i discovered the dead mouse in the corner of the unfinished portion of the basement.
he was a foot away from the rat poison pellets.
what a way to go.
punishment for gluttony?
but the poor fella must’ve been starving!
(i got a snow shovel and broom and flicked mister mouse into the snowy woods)
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(better luck next time round!)
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*SUMMER 2012*
(killing a mouse in the laundry room)
(after scuba pointed it out)
now there’s a dead mouse in the kitchen garbage stinking up the place
scuba concerned that the bird will kill itself on a mousetrap
(he’ll blame me)
(i’ll step on the parrot one of these days)
(shawn even joked about needing a new television)
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*MAY 2022*
(spotted a mouse last week near my left wall)
(ran under baseboard / mattress)
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*👨🔬🕵️♀️🙇♀️*SKETCHES*🙇♂️👩🔬🕵️♂️*
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💕💝💖💓🖤💙🖤💙🖤💙🖤❤️💚💛🧡❣️💞💔💘❣️🧡💛💚❤️🖤💜🖤💙🖤💙🖤💗💖💝💘
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*🌈✨ *TABLE OF CONTENTS* ✨🌷*
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🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥*we won the war* 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥