*ON MUSIC*
(think ‘1968 elvis comeback special’)
(I think all real men should)
(we’d sure win the battle of the sexes that way)
(meaning we’d biologically drive the female gender to become simultaneously hotter and more subservient through sheer cult of personality!)
hiphop is inherently amateur…
we’re all individuals cells in brian wilson’s head.
(the best we could hope for is a song)
(decision between song + shit)
be able to mime along with beatles records without feeling ashamed
‘the team’
(like bob dylan and the band)
(“honey, we’re just like fleetwood mac!”)
(cept without the money, fame, or anally-injected cocaine)
(and also I’m not a wussy pushover like lindsay buckingham)
(and I play a slightly meaner guitar)
(and don’t sing quite as high-pitched)
(though we do have similar hair)
(and both speak in a slightly faggy way)
(though we’re both also straight as arrows mind you)
(not that I feel entirely comfortable vouching for another man’s sexuality)
(whew, talk about damning a man with faint praise!)
(and I actually admire lindsay buckingham very much)
(not only because he got first dibs on a 16-year-old stevie nicks!)
(and his one-note guitar solo in ‘the chain’)
(and ‘world turning’ is my favorite song of all time)
(ladies and gentlemen, that’s a pretty fucking impeccable legacy!)
(and the man’s still alive!)
(he and don henley must be the most underappreciated men in rock)
(just because they aren’t true originals)
(they’re the greatest copycats in the business)
(I was gonna include billy joel in that list but then I’d have to stick in a whole host of copycat jewish musicians)
(starting with mahler and ending with KISS)
(it’s just that buckingham and henley happen to be WASPs)
(which makes their flawless mimicry somewhat exceptional)
(at least to me)
(as well as the spirit of richard wagner)
(whom I’m proud to say I’m channeling at the moment!)
(is it all because of the nazis?)
(I mean, jewish comedians ruthlessly bash on blacks/latinos til the cows come home)
(but slip in a jew joke and you’re instantly lumped with mel gibson and henry ford)
(and you’re not quite as spooky as stevie nicks)
(most importantly we don’t have lovable hooligan brits as sidekicks / kickass rhythm section)
(and we definitely don’t have a slightly mannish pop songstress who will fuck any man woman or roadie within a 10-mile radius at our disposal!)
(“wait a minute, we’re absolutely nothing like fleetwood mac!”)
(“it’s peter green that I’m a lot like!”)
(before y’all start laughing, remember that the beatles themselves wanted to SOUND LIKE fleetwood mac back in 1969)
(it’s true I tellya!)
(just listen to ‘sun king’!)
(stoned gibberish at it’s most sublime!)
(‘hero’ was one of my favorite songs back then)
(i listened to it right alongside pearl jam without shame / only shane)
(then enrique henriques!!!)
(i mean enrique iglesias)
(who is now collaborating with the jersey shore goons)
(it was david bowie who did the first ‘heroes’ song)
(as covered by jakob dylan)
(and the wallflowers)
(poor jakob dylan)
(poor sean lennon)
(poor julian lennon)
(poor *whoever paul’s son is*)
(they probably kept him in the basement like a dog!)
(george’s son dhani doesn’t have it so bad)
(and ringo’s son turned out to be a go-to guy for zeppelin and the who!)
(good for him)
(zach starkey)
.
.
(what if it turned out that ‘jim morrison’ was just drinking too much coffee???)
.
(if one doesn’t “make it” (in the famous sense) past 30, one is never allowed to speak of his ‘music’ again)
.
.
👈👈👈☜*“GOD’S HONEST TRUTH”* ☞ 👉👉👉
.
.
💕💝💖💓🖤💙🖤💙🖤💙🖤❤️💚💛🧡❣️💞💔💘❣️🧡💛💚❤️🖤💜🖤💙🖤💙🖤💗💖💝💘
.
.
*🌈✨ *TABLE OF CONTENTS* ✨🌷*
.
.
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥*we won the war* 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥