-as of [3 AUGUST 2025]-
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*OCTOBER 2012*
(i hooked up with an extremely fat woman last night)
she lived across the street, one house to the right.
i was smoking a cigarette on the front porch around midnight when i noted an exuberant gaggle of girls exiting a car in their driveway.
i decided to investigate (nearly scaring the shit out of them in the process!) i’d heard her singing opera several times in the past. she’s performing the lead role in an opera this saturday night. i forget her name. there were the token faggots and dykes also living in the house (they were all quite nice). i ended up locking myself out of my own house.
in addition to being grossly obese, she was also a beautiful blonde underneath all those layers of lard. and she had big tits (as do most plump plums). i ended up staying the night. her busty brunette friend was sleeping in the same basement bed (they have the same 6-person tenant arrangement). i didn’t even get her phone number (though i did leave her with a copy of “finest hour”). her friend was celebrating her 24th birthday and crashed on her couch (i slept on a chair). i ate pretzels and popcorn and stole a good deal of svedka/grey goose vodka (swiped in three separate cups) from the place. i fed most of the pretzels and popcorn to their dog “o’reilly” before passing out. i dreamt of maria sa smoking a cigarette with me.
i set my alarm for 7am so that i could catch my roommate mike leaving for work but i slept through to near noon.
and the landlord was out of town until 4pm.
luckily enough, mike arrived (driven by a friend) to let himself in the house
(now it is ‘halloween’)
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“FAT BLONDE OPERA SINGER”
in fall 2012 i got hammered on vodka and noticed a party going down across the street on clearview avenue…
i walked up to the driveway and invited myself in as a car pulled up…
a bunch of westminster students…
the faggy house mother offered me booze…
ended up hooking up on the back deck with a fat blonde opera singer…
she had a performance the next day…
i got around to fingering her…
wanted to sleep in her bed that night because she had a busty brunette visiting…
but she wouldn’t let me…
then i ended up locking myself out of the house…
luckily mun hoe arrived home from work @ noon and let me in…
later that day i drunkenly re-entered their house…
the fag threatened to call the cops on me…
i ran into her after getting out of the hospital round halloween 2012…
(i was admitted for alcohol poisoning)…
she didn’t seem too thrilled to see me…
after that i ran into her a few more times @ the ivy inn karaoke nights…
but we didn’t say much to each other…
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*👨🔬🕵️♀️🙇♀️*SKETCHES*🙇♂️👩🔬🕵️♂️*
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*-“NO NAME” PLAIN JANES-* ☞ 👉👉👉
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💕💝💖💓🖤💙🖤💙🖤💙🖤❤️💚💛🧡❣️💞💔💘❣️🧡💛💚❤️🖤💜🖤💙🖤💙🖤💗💖💝💘
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*🌈✨ *TABLE OF CONTENTS* ✨🌷*
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🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥*we won the war* 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥